Before I graduated high school, I was able to secure direct admittance into a local Physician Assistant program, and I was awarded the Presidential and Promise scholarships which amounted to around $14,000 a year. I was elated to attend my college, but after beginning classes, I realized how difficult college was going to be for me. I was the high school student who never needed to study or take notes. I got by with a good GPA and was able to be inducted into National Honor Society with little effort because I paid attention and retained enough information to get good grades. Because of that, I had never developed the study skills I would need once I began college classes. I really struggled my first few semesters. I vividly remember lying in my dorm room bed with my Biology textbook and my poorly written notes. I had an exam the following morning, and I knew I was in trouble because I didn’t even know how to make well organized index cards or how to cram the immense amount of information into my head. I was struggling with depression and even contacted the school counselor to speak with them about it. I ended up not going, which I still regret. I did adjust with time, and I feel I started to do better. I took some difficult courses in the summer and was able to get A’s in A&P 1 and 2. Things were looking up, but I already knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep the GPA I needed to keep my direct admittance to the PA program. That’s when I changed my major to computer science.
I had bonded with some of the computer professors and thought that software engineering would be a good fit for me. I attended classes and all was well for awhile…until it wasn’t. I got pregnant, and that’s when I started struggling again. I lived about 45 minutes away and commuted daily. After my daily classes, I would spend a few hours at home with my newborn, and I would then go to work. I was working as a caretaker for an elderly woman, and I stayed with her overnight throughout the week. After getting little sleep at night, I would go back to my classes the next morning and begin the same routine. I did this all while breastfeeding my son and pumping between classes in the conference room. It became too much for me to handle, and I felt something needed to give in order for me to be able to continue. I couldn’t quit working because I was our only source of income while my boyfriend finished school, and I couldn’t stop being a mother. I chose to stop going to classes.
I received 5 failing grades for that semester in school, and I was put on academic probation. I was determined to return the following semester, so I registered for classes and started again. It wasn’t long before I became overwhelmed, but I had missed the withdraw date. I chose to stop going to classes again and received an additional 5 F’s . I didn’t realize at the time how big of a mistake that was going to be and how difficult it would be for me to move past it.
Fast forward a few years, and my boyfriend had graduated from the same school, and we were in the position financially to send me back to school to finish my degree. I took some time to figure out what I really wanted to do as a career, and the only thing I really feel I could have a passion for in life is Midwifery. I started calling around to different Registered Nurse programs and found out I could start immediately at a local nursing program. I was so happy because I was finally going to finish the degree I started.
I finished the first 12 months of the program with a 4.0 GPA. I worked so hard for that GPA, and I told myself I was capable of A’s and wasn’t going to accept anything less from myself. I’m now ready to start the second half of the program, but in order to do that, I have to have a 3.0 cumulative GPA. I never realized that that would include the classes I had at at my initial school. I thought I only needed a 3.0 in my program courses. I didn’t realize that mistakes from 5 years ago would still prevent me from bettering myself. The rest of my cohort starts in September, and I’m going to get left behind if I can’t get my GPA above the 3.0 needed to begin. My cumulative GPA now stands at 2.63. That’s SO many credits, and it’s impossible for me to get the classes in by September. I have contacted my first college to expunge my last 2 semesters from my transcript. What are the chances of that happening?
I feel as if I’m stuck here in my dismal job that I’m way too intelligent for, and I feel I could have amounted to so much and now I’m nothing. Any advice would be appreciated. I know it’s better to retake classes you failed to bring your GPA up, but do those need to be through the initial college for them to be replaces, and what are the chances they would even let me return to retake them? Is it fair that my dumb choices from 5 years ago can still ruin my life?