<p>I go to a top-10 college and I see most of my fraternity brothers are afraid of committing to one girl or having a long term relationship. I don't get it. Most of us are graduating in less than 1 month - being an undergrad at this school is the best opportunity in our entire life to find a girl who's intelligent, ambitious, and at least not ugly (come on, if you look out on the lawn during Spring, there are plenty of cute girls out here. And honestly, I'd take an intelligent cute girl over a dumb model from community college any day)</p>
<p>So what's your deal guys? Our next opportunity to have an intelligent wife who will not just stay home all day and do absolutely nothing, is grad school, provided we get accepted by a top grad school. And even then, most grad students are already in relationships and many are much much older (The M.S. Finance program at Princeton I'm applying to has an average age of 25-28 - a bit older for my tastes!)</p>
<p>And once we graduate, we'll be going onto jobs, whether it's the 18-hour a day corporate job, or being a journalist, there will never be an environment where literally 1000s of girls are single, cute, and extremely intelligent.</p>
<p>I don't know why a LOT of rich and successful guys end up women who aren't already in stable jobs, or are intelligent and sophisticated, or whatever. And they're not particularly hot either.</p>
<p>And don't give me any of this "you can't stop love" crap because I simply will not believe you that you fell in love with a good looking girl who has nothing else to offer over plenty of "great catches" at a place you spent 4 years at.</p>
<p>So what's the deal, guys? Me? I've had my share of hookups, but after Freshman year I've been going on dates ever since. Don't any of my guy friends ever think about who they're gonna end up marrying?</p>
Look, no it’s not. Do you think most people meet their spouses in college? You have the rest of your life to meet the perfect woman for you. You may meet her in the waiting room at the dentist’s office or she’ll be the cute receptionist at your first job (Jim and Pam! haha :p) The average age to get married is like 27 or something; very few people are looking to get married at 21 or so! Chances are the thousands of girls on your campus aren’t husband-hunting either. I mean, I’m sure lot’s of people are looking for long-term commitment, but most people aren’t at this age.</p>
<p>My opinion is that if it happens it happens, if it happens later then it happens later. But I’m not going to college because I want to find a wife or girl I love, I’m going for the education I receive, contacts I make, and preparing for my future.</p>
<p>I understand what you’re saying about the pool of people to choose from. You’re absolutely right that college is the best place to find an intelligent girl out of a large group of people, BUT the fact of the matter is that you are not settled in college. Following college it would be difficult to find jobs in the same area, and long distance relationships are hard to make work.</p>
<p>You live in a frat house I presume? Have you ever stopped to consider that the house doesn’t clean itself, and I’m pretty sure that you don’t clean it.</p>
<p>In case you have ever wondered how your house gets clean it’s called the cleaning staff. They are there working during the days cleaning up the mess you leave behind.</p>
<p>And in the dining halls where you go three times a day expecting to eat, there are people working who prepare the food for you. And after you leave there are other people who wash the dishes and clean up the eating area.</p>
<p>It’s the kind of stuff people have to do in real life. Someone has to do it for you, maybe you have enough money to pay someone to do it, or maybe it will be your wife at home doing this work while you assume she is doing nothing.</p>
<p>I’m at a fairly decent college. For all I know, my future husband could be going to a community college for various reasons. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t bother me at all if I think he’s a good person and I love him. Maybe he’s not even in college right now. One of my favorite high school teachers eventually ended up in med school but delayed a college education to hike mountains, climb glaciers, do medical work in Africa, etc… I respect that. </p>
<p>There are many kind, intelligent, funny, hard-working, and attractive people out there who may not be in the top ten or twenty colleges - woah, shocking!!! Maybe they have other priorities/dreams/interests…maybe they don’t come from a wealthy family that can afford a 50k/yr college…maybe they don’t want to wind up in debt… -.- </p>
<p>It’s fine if you are searching for a serious long term relationship, but if you’re desperate to only find a girl on your campus, then I think you’re putting serious limitations on yourself.</p>
<p>Eh, anyone I marry has to be at least as smart as me academically. None of that ‘smarter than you in other ways’ bull. But then again, I’m a girl science student headed to grad school; there’s no shortage of single dudes ;)</p>
<p>Definitely not going to be looking for a future wife at college. Getting married is the last thing on my mind right now, if I even want to ever marry. I’m going to have a good time and I’m certainly not jumping head over heels to commit to someone for the rest of my life. I want to have time to be single, work on my career, and scout the waters.</p>
<p>I doubt I consider anything too seriously until I’m at least in my 30’s and relatively settled.</p>
<p>By the way, the average age of first marriage in the US is 27.8 for men and 26 for women…not “in their 30s”.</p>
<p>I think you’re right in that a lot of college guys aren’t looking for long-term relationships. Lots of girls aren’t, either, but plenty are. Just don’t approach them from the standpoint of “are you my future wife?” and you’ll be fine. </p>
<p>My friend’s mom once gave her some advice that makes a lot of sense: “Don’t date anyone you would never consider marrying” (this is assuming that you’re LTR-minded). I think that’s about as far ahead as you should allow yourself to think when you’re just getting to know someone…any farther and you’re jumping ahead too fast.</p>
<p>For those who believe in premarital sex, why get married? Really. Why not just sing, fornicate, and party on for tomorrow we die? I believe that God has chosen the right spouse at the right time for me. But believe me, I will be searching and learning how to identify a quality mate while I am “on the job training”. I will be third generation of not taking illicit drugs, no premarital sex, no alcohol, and marrying someone who loves others and Jesus Christ with all their heart, mind, and strength. This is not about being more moral or holier than thou. It is about living with a healthy body, mind, and spirit, that I wish to give my virginity as a gift to my spouse. I also don’t want to ever compare my spouse to former lovers. And I want them to know I am trustworthy as a single person, and will be as a spouse (past behavior is the best indicator of future performance). I only have one life, body, spirit that God has given me. I want to honor His body, mind, and soul that He gave me.</p>
<p>I could never imagine being able to wait for marriage past age 25. I highly anticipate a huge family. I also don’t want to wait beyond then, as I don’t want to look like a grandparent when my kid is in grade school.</p>
<p>“I could never imagine being able to wait for marriage past age 25. I highly anticipate a huge family. I also don’t want to wait beyond then, as I don’t want to look like a grandparent when my kid is in grade school.”</p>
<p>^ Actually I kind of feel that way too sometimes lol… This is when inner 1 Sky Pilot slaps dreamer 1 Sky Pilot back into reality. I need to make lots of moneeeeeey for my family and get settled first… But it’d be nice to still have lots of energy to play with my kids. My parents are older than most and no siblings…family vacations weren’t exactly a thrill lol. :p</p>
<p>i’m already 22. i still have to go to law school and i’ll be 26 before i’m out of school. Probably won’t get married til 30 or so.</p>
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<p>I don’t know. I’ll hopefully be rich enough that my wife won’t need much of an income. Maybe I’ll just marry some hottie with no career (with a prenupt); so she better stay hot or get lost. I mean I’ll probably marry a chick with a good career, but it’s way too early to start looking.</p>