I’m supposed to start collage later this month, I am already signed up to classes I do not want, and am considering just dropping everything and taking a gap year before I can waste anything other than people’s time.
I am extremely clinically depressed, with far too much anxiety for one person to reasonably cope with. Not to mention heavy dyslexia, adhd, and my status of being autistic. Beyond mental issues I also struggle with physical problems from health issues, making it so I can’t stand for very long, do any strenuous activities or even be in a place without proper air flow.
With all these daily difficulties I deal with, it’s difficult to imagine a job or a major to match, that fits the requirements of “not so emotionally terrible it makes me want to kill myself on the daily, and so physically demanding that it will kill me”
Due to apathy I’ve never found anything I can properly say I’m passionate about. The only thing I’ve got in terms of hobbies is drawing, and I have tried making money off that before, and I has always been very successful in bringing in money but not successful in ruining my mental health and putting me off of art for months.
So what can I do, as someone with such a limited area of the world to explore in, what can I do to both find something I am capable of performing and can stand doing for more than 5 minutes?
Sorry this is kinda disorganized I am very tired rn and am just kinda desperate to find something.
Have you talked with your parents about this? A therapist? It is certainly possible to take a gap year, and your college might even hold your spot for you. You don’t have much time at this point, though. Talk to your parents today.
Please talk to your parents, now, and if possible get an appointment today with your therapist. If you don’t have a therapist, please get an appointment today with your family physician/healthcare provider and get a referral immediately. To be “extremely clinically depressed” with anxiety is something that can be treated; please see the medical experts so you can work with them to figure out what’s best for you.
And you’ve answered your own question: take a gap year. Your health should be your #1 focus now.
Please speak with your parents right away. Show them this post if they are not supportive. To preserve your freshman status, make sure you communicate with your college and follow their instructions on how to unenroll. You may have several departments to send letter of withdrawal to. Save all communications, note who you spoke with on what date. Getting scholarship deferred and any loans cancelled is vital. You are so wise to realize you need to focus on your mental health.
Agree with everyone’s advice here-- talk with your parents and a therapist. You should feel excited about starting college. And, it’s a very stressful transition; if you’re already feeling anxious, it’s not going to go well. Nothing wrong with taking a gap year. I think it could be a very good thing for you.
Let me add that when you DO decide to enroll in college, make sure you register with Student Disability Services. They will help you immensely with accommodations, counseling, whatever you need. Your parents can’t do this for you; they can go with you if you give permission, but you’ll need to contact the office yourself. You’ll probably need health records, so gather those before you go. You can get accommodations including a note taker in class, recording lectures, taking exams with extra time and in a private room without distractions, etc. My school’s office even had a relaxation room with massage chairs that you could use at any time. And all this will be confidention; other students will not know of your accommdations.
PLEASE consider taking a gap year. There’s a good chance you can get all your tuition and fees refunded at this point (my son withdrew after a couple of weeks of classes and we received all of our money back, except a small amount for off-campus housing). You have absolutely got to take care of yourself before you take on college.
MANY kids are in your situation, so there is no shame in taking a year off. My middle child actually took two and a half years off and is now thriving at 24. If he had gone straight to college, it would have been disastrous.
And just know that things WILL get better. There is so much help available now. I can say this with confidence, because all three of my 20-something children have been diagnosed with mental illnesses. They are doing well now but it was rough for awhile.