<p>Oldbatesie- I hope your son finds great satisfaction at his new target school, and so sorry to hear about the first fiasco. I think we parents experience more pain from such shenanigans than the kids.</p>
<p>I bet when your son is on fire against team #1, Coach #1 will ask himself, now why didn’t I take that kid?</p>
<p>Ditto, OldBatesie. So sorry about the disappointment. But aren’t you glad you pressed the coach for a specific answer? It’s so fortunate he didn’t waste his ED opportunity on someone who was hedging. You win the good parent award!</p>
<p>And mom of soccerboy, I agree with shrinkrap that you shouldn’t beat up on yourself for not figuring out the recruiting business early on. You did what you could.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap - I like what you posted about club soccer. That’s definitely on my D’s radar should she end up at a large school. Your son’s situation is interesting because it sounds like his club team emphasizes recruiting, but maybe not the kind he wants? I’ve seen a lot of premier soccer players who are so focused on getting recruited that they miss opportunities to go to academically better schools. My D knew very early that an invitation to play soccer somewhere didn’t make up for academics that didn’t fit her interests. That’s how she ended up looking to play at DIII schools; they had the soccer and the academics she wants. So for your son, I think you should advise him to figure out what kind of college he likes best, and then go after the soccer piece.</p>
<p>I really do have the CC community to thank, and that the coach finally “fessed up” He actually had the nerve to say"I’d call Coach X myself, but I don’t want to see you compete against us." That’s when I lost it a bit.</p>
<p>I totally agree with you. He should take it as his own if he wants to play at college. Some point of time he had been traumatized and lost his confidence to play well in soccer. As a parent I like to courage him try harder and don’t give up. For now academic and scholarship are No.1. Soccer is an option if he can. So I am playing very low key to find out if you can wake on a team for these top LAC schools without ED or EA. Gross fingers.</p>
<p>I will look into the club soccer option. Thanks for the info. I never thought about they are competitive enough.</p>
<p>“So for your son, I think you should advise him to figure out what kind of college he likes best, and then go after the soccer piece.”</p>
<p>Aside from soccer, he likes the kind of college with snowboarding…</p>
<p>Here’s something I read on a coaches forum…</p>
<p>[College</a> Showcase Tournaments -](<a href=“http://andagain.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3159619&highlight=nomads]College”>http://andagain.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3159619&highlight=nomads)</p>
<p>"Where does the player rank as a player?</p>
<p>To find out divide the population of your “competition area” by one million. If you live in an area with a population of four million, expect to have on average four top level teams per age group and sex. This will give you a rough guide as to how many teams in your age group are top quality teams. Some areas are exceptions and the population is lower, for example Oklahoma produces on average more top teams than its population warrants. Some areas do not meet this number. Often the difference that gives some smaller population areas an advantage is a history of professional soccer from which knowledgeable coaches can be drawn. (Oklahoma had the Tulsa Roughnecks, as an example.)</p>
<p>A competition area is not your city, it is the population that supports your most competitive league. For my area this equals a radius of about 200 miles. </p>
<p>If your player is not on one of these teams by U15/16 they are not going to be recruited by a school in the top 60 of Division 1, the top 35 in Division 2, or the top 20 NAIA college programs, absent a special and unique connection to the program (such as a club coach who was the college coach’s room mate in college 20 years ago). </p>
<p>If you are not in this group and you go to a college showcase you will be placed in a lower division and no top program will look at you - they are looking elsewhere and then going to the bar.</p>
<p>Being in a lower group does not mean you are out of the running to play in college. It means you will be considered by programs much further down in the rankings or be asked to walk on. You will not be recruited by a major or even a likely medium level program. If this fits you, why did you spend the money to go to the showcase hundreds of miles from home?</p>
<p>Next, where does the team rank academically?</p>
<p>I know a team that was a Region II finalist and semi finalist. No college coach scouts them, though they have a lot of talent. Why? There is only player on the team with a GPA above 3.0. No college coach is interested in the players on the team because it is unlikely they will be academically eligible to play - they probably would not meet the requirements to play as Freshman and would not stay Academically eligible as upper class men.</p>
<p>Such players will play for a junior college and transfer in a few years or a small NAIA college if at all. </p>
<p>No college scout is going to waste their time watching this team.</p>
<p>Second, the player needs to know what they want in a college, including location. </p>
<p>Most college coaches know that a player will not stay at a college that is further than six or so hours driving time from the player’s home. After one year they will transfer back home. If such a player wants to walk on, the coach is happy to let them try out. They are not giving any money to the player and the coach is not counting on them. Stay a few seasons and matters may change. There are advantages to being a part of the program in such cases that may be worth a lot to the player, and the coach may pull strings to help the player be admitted. But, the player is not going to be recruited in any sense of the word.</p>
<p>If you want to know more about how to be seen and what to look for in narrowing who you want to be seen by, see my post on this topic:
Maximizing Your College Visibility on Limited Resources
[Maximizing</a> Your College Visibility on Limited Resources -](<a href=“http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/andagain/vpost?id=2942390&trail=20]Maximizing”>http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/andagain/vpost?id=2942390&trail=20)</p>
<p>Once you have narrowed the field of colleges you can consider how you want to market yourself to the college coach. Showcases are one way, but it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. Like any tryout, your performance may not be the best the 15 minutes the coach is there, - you may be sick, injured or just on the bench. You are not getting your money’s worth."</p>
<p>“He actually had the nerve to say"I’d call Coach X myself, but I don’t want to see you compete against us.” "</p>
<p>What a jerk! You would think that he would have learned the first rule of rejection–just say something like “I’m sorry this didn’t work out. Best of luck in the future.”</p>
<p>True story. My son is Ok about it all, esp since coach 2 hadn’t gone away. He’s an optimistic child who is generally cheerful, so he’s re-adjusted his expectations. It was a close call for him anyway, but you know how once they decide on a school, they over weigh its advantages. I know I am his mother, but he is a prince, 2 year varsity captain, and sometimes the kids with the best stats aren’t what hold the team together. Coach’s loss, and that fine institution…</p>
<p>Oldbates, hang in there. You’re doing an outstanding job negotiating tough waters. I think it’s time to start referring to the “2nd choice” school as the other “1st choice” school.</p>
<p>Very soon it will be time to start wearing that sweatshirt with pride. This process will fade, and since you’ve described your son as an optimist, I suspect his version of this story will change: “the best thing that ever happened to me was when I ended up at X!”</p>
<p>Congratulations.</p>
<p>Thanks Riv. He pushed the “send” button yesterday, and he is totally fine. I appreciate your posts, and wisdom. We just hope this works out, but he still has 4 other great schools who would love to have him, so it’s all good.</p>
<p>I’m glad your son is OK, ObD. I feel the same way - we’ve already sent in 4 applications, and any one of them would be good, I think. 7 more apps to go, though!</p>
<p>Wow, that’s heroic! He has 7 recruited schools-canceled a couple visits because he had enough and the grades were starting to show it…</p>
<p>Yeah, it’s a tough road! I’m picking him up at the airport tonight at 11:30 - he’s returning from a visit at Washington U in St. Louis. I already let the school know he may be a little late in the morning! And Wednesday is a school holiday (Veterans’ Day), so he can rest up some then. Just in time for the New England meet on Saturday! These kids are amazing, huh?? I never did anything like this.</p>