What do you do with an "odd" child w/unique extra-curricular background?

<p>Look at Beloit College, in Wisconsin. The students are not cookie cutter mold, and passions are followed. Admission GPAs are perhaps more variable than with some similar schools.</p>

<p>EDITED: I am the OP, and to answer your questions–</p>

<p>Daughter leads a movement to help children in 3rd world countries. She works with NGO leaders and Peace Corp workers abroad. She is actively “out there” and doing the hard field work of obtaining money, supplies, etc, all the way through the delivery of supplies. She began this project herself and what has really turned daughter off from her peers is their complete apathy–not a single classmate (in a very large school) has ever commented on what daughter is doing…she can’t help but feel snubbed. She has received letters and interest from hundreds of people outside of our community, but here at home, and in her school…nada. When she thinks about what she is doing, yet has to endure the inane conversation of most of her peers–the gossip, the cattiness, the recitation of drunken fiascos–she feels saddened. Her school is primarily rich spoiled white kids and bussed-in minorities, and she doesn’t fit, period. </p>

<p>Daughter’s goal was to get out of h/s as soon as possible because of the (for her) negative environment. She will be going into community college over the summer to pick up a few more credits, thus balancing out her load to cover most of her freshman year requirements. </p>

<p>Regarding her current courseload, she opted for DE over AP classes; in our state DE is more highly regarded, and there isn’t a lot of consistency among the AP classes. DE classes are taught by local college professors and they follow the state university syllabus; AP classes are taught by teachers, some without great credentials. She has acquaintances in her AP classes who never have homework at night (!) which blows her mind, because she ALWAYS has homework in DE classes, always. </p>

<p>Your input has been great and really opened my eyes.</p>

<p>It is possible that selective colleges would be interested in your daughter, including schools like Amherst, or Wesleyan, or even Ivies. Schools that put a lot of time into looking at each student as an individual, that don’t rely exclusively on stats in admissions decisions.</p>

<p>For non-traditional colleges I would add Bennington to the Sarah Lawrence, Marlboro, Hampshire list. Many schools, such as Bard, Oberlin, Carleton, McAlaster might fit too.</p>

<p>One other idea is a school like Goddard, or Union Institute. At Goddard students spend one week each semester on campus, and then work on their own, with frequent communication with a faculty mentor. We know a 19 year-old who is working in an orphanage in Africa, for her freshman year at Goddard.</p>

<p>Union Institute is a little more structured than Goddard academically, but offers 3 plans: one week residency per semester, on weekend per month during the semester, and online. Students can move back and forth between these options: it is flexible.</p>

<p>With either of these programs, your daughter could continue with whatever this EC is, and still work on a degree, and she also would not have to suffer the social unhappiness that some “different” kids experience on campus and in dorms. Both Goddard and Union Institute are multi-age environments, which is a wonderful thing.</p>

<p>She might also like an urban state college or university. For instance, classes at UMass Boston are extremely diverse in age, background, just about any measure of diversity. Because so many there are working or have families, the university is very flexible: you can take 2 classes or 5, evening/weekend/weekdays, and you can leave, then get readmitted for $25. So she could go off traveling, then come back and take classes, then leave again.</p>

<p>If the antidepressants and mood stabilizers are indicative of a problem that is not situational, meaning a genetic bipoplar illness, for instance, then issues of stability and support would be paramount. But it is not clear from your post exactly what went on with the “black hole” experience. Many students do in fact manage to return from unusual experiences without that kind of adjustment problem, and it is only too easy to sort of romanticize our kids. But it sounds like you are pretty grounded on this issue and see it as a more complex situation than just an interesting, world-traveling kid returning to face prom.</p>

<p>I know a kid who was in a similar situation-- won a major national award and a major state award and was written about in the local newspapers but received no recognition from her school and little support from her peers. Kid did very well in college admissions.</p>

<p>One thing I would keep in mind is many highly selective schools require a lot of time and effort for schoolwork. Your daughter needs to decide how much time she’ll want to continue with her passion. </p>

<p>Of course you know your daughter better, but I am wondering if she would be better off to take a gap year to pursue her dream. She may be very mature in her dealings with adults, but it also takes a certain maturity and confidence to deal with one’s peers effectively. Even with those “non-traditional” colleges, I would think young adults would tend to behave about the same. She may end up sitting in her room by herself for a while before she could find any kindred soul. </p>

<p>I have also wondered about the notion of being different. On the one hand we want to encourage it, but on the hand “at what price”? I have two daughters. D1 is very smart and hard working, openly admits she is shallow, but is enjoying fully what the life has to offer. D2 is probably smarter and prettier than D1 (gasp, I know we are not suppose to say things like that), but she has a lot of principle and marches to her own drum. She is the one that sits at home on weekends. I think she would like people to think it doesn’t matter, but I know it’s not easy for her. Maybe this is for a different thread.</p>

<p>I am in hearty agreement with compmom (post #23) and oldfort (post #25).</p>

<p>I myself am a third culture kid (see wikipedia) who returned to the United States for college after living six years in a third world country.</p>

<p>The OP:

</p>

<p>Not surprisingly, the majority of kids on college campuses are very similar to the majority of kids in American high schools. </p>

<p>You should focus on finding a good fit where your daughter can be happy. I think that is likely to be at places along the lines of those suggested by compmom.</p>

<p>I would be very cautious about sending your daughter to an LAC. Generally the population is small, and the location likewise. I think a bigger school in a metropolitan area will be a better choice. Such a school will have an extremely wide variety of students as well as off campus opportunities for finding like-minded people.</p>

<p>“Daughter leads a movement to help children in 3rd world countries. She works with NGO leaders and Peace Corp workers abroad.”</p>

<p>Take a good look at Harvard including looking at this link to Phillips Brooks House Association, the student-run public service, social action organization. Check out this link to its site: [url=<a href=“http://pbha.org/about/]About[/url”>http://pbha.org/about/]About[/url</a>]</p>

<p>It’s typical for students at places like Harvard to have very strong interests in community service. Your D definitely would find like-minded peers. Such colleges aren’t interested in self-centered, superficial students, but admit students who are interested in and experienced in community service – for the purpose of making a difference, not for resume dressing.</p>

<p>Considering her interests and her age, it may be a good idea for your D to take a year off and be an Americorps volunteer or spend time working with her community service project. She could apply to college during that gap year. Doing this kind of productive gap year would give her more of an idea about the kind of college she wishes to attend, and it would increase her chances of getting into a top college – the kind of place where I think she’d flourish and find many like-minded peers.</p>

<p>Americorps is a great organization that allows young people like your D to run with their talents and interests of making the world a better place. S was an Americorps volunteer for a year after high school, and was head of youth programs for Americorps programs in our area. He had major responsibilities and went off to the college of his choice where he has connected with other mature, independent students who enjoy diversity and making a difference in the world.</p>

<p>He chose to do Americorps in our area, but your D might enjoy being a volunteer away from home.</p>

<p>[url=<a href=“http://www.americorps.gov/]AmeriCorps[/url”>http://www.americorps.gov/]AmeriCorps[/url</a>]</p>

<p>I don’t think the physical size of the environment is an issue for ‘big thinkers’ such as your D, I think the mental and emotional size of the college is most important. With that in mind, as your D marches to a different drummer than your typical student her age, I would look for an any size campus that think big.
Highly selective schools should not be ruled out, nor ‘not as selective’ schools either - for example I second an above post concerning Colleges That Change Lives schools, my D’s college, Beloit really thinks big - there is a global thinking in all her classes, a diverse group of ‘types’ of students - many of whom have extensive overseas backgrounds that keeps the feel very large. Fit is absolutely the most important aspect here, I feel - prestige needs to come second.</p>

<p>I agree with oldfort and fendrock. Yes, colleges have distinct personalities. But each college is, after all, a microcosm of the world. I am concerned by your broad references to “rich and spoiled white kids.” There are many affluent white kids at colleges across the country, including colleges with socially conscious/quirky cultures. Many, I would say most, of these students do not fit the “rich and spoiled” stereotype. If your daughter goes to college with preconceived notions about her peers, she’ll miss out on the opportunity to know some great, like-minded kids. I suspect she will also find herself on the margins socially.</p>

<p>The student described sound like she is amazing in many ways, but has not yet developed much maturity in dealing with peers. If she were my child, I would continue to support her in her area of passion, but would also work with her to interact more productively with peers. Yes, she is far beyond them in her area of passion, but that does not mean that she can’t develop civil relationships with them. Frankly, we all must “endure inane” crap prettty much throughout life in various settings. I wouldn’t let brilliance give her a pass on basic social skills.</p>

<p>Students who are actively involved in community service – at home and abroad – are a common feature at just about every college, even those high on the entitlement scale. Your daughter will have plenty of company wherever she ends up. Now it’s time for her to start to define what she wants in a college not just what she doesn’t want.</p>

<p>If it seems too abstract to her, I’d have to agree that a gap year would be a good idea. Assuming that she would continue her involvement in helping impoverished children, a gap year would only benefit her when she is ready to settle down to college.</p>

<p>So much good advise on this thread - overall it sounds like there is an agreement on ‘don’t dismiss anything’ - even privilege - many ‘rich, spoiled kids’ go to highly selective schools and dedicate their lives to contributing to society, on another thread someone called it majoring in ‘save the world.’ Meanwhile I agree that she needs to know her enemy, so to speak - I am surprised that the predominant culture at the HS is so indifferent - my D’s HS was packed with students who volunteered relentlessly - maybe she can start to gather a group that wants to contribute but doesn’t know where to start.</p>

<p>Sorry to be the one to rain on the parade, but I think this thread is way too optimisic. I also get the feeling that this thread is written by the kid, not by a parent. </p>

<p>This kid may not be eligible to be a freshman. With DE and going to CC this summer, that may not be possible. Instead, the student may have to apply as a transfer student. At some of the schools mentioned in this list, the odds of getting in as a transfer student are worse than getting in as a freshman. </p>

<p>We don’t have any real PSAT scores. The kid will be taking PSATs quite soon. She should also have taken or be taking the SAT, SATIIs and/or ACT immediately or she will limit herself to test optional schools. With less than great grades, this kid isn’t a good candidate for test optional schools, so I’d suggest that she take some tests ASAP. Come back and get advice with real scores. (I say less than great grades because the 3.5 quoted as gpa is obviously out of some number greater than 4.0 since her current average is 4.1. Moreover, it is October, so I doubt the 4.1 is “official.” Even so, one semester of a 4.1 plus four of 3.5 at a suburban high school with scores below 700 do not make this kid Harvard or Stanford material since she is obviously from an affluent background. ) </p>

<p>I personally think this student’s best best is to find out which colleges have articulation agreements which accept the DE classes she is taking and apply there, at least if she wants credit for them. I also think Simon’s Rock is a good suggestion.</p>

<p>If she were my own kid, I’d nix the idea of graduating early oand make her stay the extra year. That way, assuming the upward grade trend is “for real” she’d have a full year of higher grades to submit and a chance to get to know some of the profs well enough to get good LORs from them. It will also help convince schools that this is a real, permanent turnaround.
There woulld also be some time to do test prep to boost those scores and take some CLEP, SAT II and AP tests. (It would be a good idea to take the AP test in the areas in which she is taking DE classes.)</p>

<p>I am pretty certain OP is a mom, but Jonri did raise some good points.</p>

<p>There are a bunch of things that don’t smell right about the OP’s story, but maybe it’s because I haven’t had much contact with 15-year-olds who travel all over the world pursuing their “dream” of service without visible means of support while suffering from clinical depression and social ostracism at home. </p>

<p>Nevertheless, taking the OP at face value, or close to it, I thing jonri is being way too pessimistic. (Full disclosure: I often find myself thinking that. Jonri’s community is way more glittery than mine, apparently, so she is much harder to impress.)</p>

<p>I will bet dollars to doughnuts that an 11th grader’s dual enrollment classes are not a barrier anywhere to application as a freshman. And I do not think that Simon’s Rock is the right place for a kid like the one described by the OP. I doubt she is going to waltz into Yale or Swarthmore from 11th grade with 650 SATs (although if anyone is going to do that, it would be a kid like the one described). But I agree with most of the other posters that there are oodles of LACs that would be thrilled to admit a kid like that, warts and all, and where she would get a lot of support, a great education, and the admiration of her peers.</p>

<p>Let me add a few possibilities to the mix: Bates, Macalaster, Earlham, Grinnell, Connecticut College. If the OP’s daughter is religiously motivated – and I have a suspicion she is, because that would go a long way towards making the whole story make more sense – then colleges associated with her religious background, or tolerant colleges centered around another faith (e.g., Jesuit institutions), might also be worth investigating.</p>

<p>I also agree with the poster who suggested that the University of Chicago is a bad idea for a student who is not naturally oriented towards course work first, saving the world second. A student like that would do much better at Harvard than at Chicago.</p>

<p>I thought the SAT scores were in and good???</p>

<p>Per OP:

</p>

<p>“I do not think that Simon’s Rock is the right place for a kid like the one described by the OP. I doubt she is going to waltz into Yale or Swarthmore from 11th grade with 650 SATs (although if anyone is going to do that, it would be a kid like the one described)”</p>

<p>Her soph year PSAT scores were in that range. Typically, SAT scores go up about 100 points each year of high school; at least that was true of the old SAT that just had a V, M section. Each would be expected to go up 50 points each year of high school. </p>

<p>Consequently, according to the OP, the D already has SAT scores of 700 on each section. To me, she sounds like a student who’s likely this school year to have SAT scores totaling at least 2200, well within the range of what’s typical for accepted students at top colleges.</p>

<p>I know a student who between high school and college volunteered counseling rape victims with an NGO in Africa while her mother, a college prof, did research in that country. Consequently, I can believe that it’s possible for a high school student – with parents who are working abroad – to have done what the OP says. </p>

<p>I continue to think it’s possible for such a student to gain admission to top colleges, particularly if she applies next year while doing a productive gap year such as with Americorps. This year her gaining acceptances would be more difficult because of her grade and history of emotional problems. </p>

<p>A gap year would allow colleges the chance to develop a positive assessment of her maturity and emotional stability, and would allow her to do more activities that would impress colleges that might take a chance on a bright, quirky, student who cares about societal problems like she does. The gap year also would allow her to gain more maturity and a better idea of what kind of college she’d like to attend.</p>

<p>The content of her DES and whether her CC courses count for high school graduation would determine how colleges regard her coursework and whether she’d be treated as a transfer. Now is the time to find out how colleges would view those things. The D (not the mother) should call the admissions offices of some colleges that she might apply to, and she should ask them about her plans for early graduation and how that could affect her admission prospects.</p>

<p>I’m more concerned with the OP’s mention of “coming out of her black hole” and being put on anti-depressants to stabilize her mood. With her inability to relate to peers and her history of mental health issues, what will happen when she is away at college without the daily emotional support of her mother? </p>

<p>My concern is her emotional state and the question as to whether or not she is mature enough to handle leaving her support system (her Mom) and transitioning into the residential college setting. Even the most well adjusted students have difficulties making the college transition. For a student with previous mental health issues and social difficulties, the transition can be too overwhelming. </p>

<p>I would concentrate less on her test scores and focus more on her true ability to apply the knowledge (3.5 HS GPA is average, not brilliant), her emotional state, and her degree of social skills.</p>

<p>“Frankly, we all must “endure inane” crap pretty much throughout life in various settings. I wouldn’t let brilliance give her a pass on basic social skills.” (from above, I have no cut and paste skills)</p>

<p>I don’t think any of us endures inanity in quite the dose high school students have to. (See the thread on the Millburn HS hazing situation in Parent Cafe). Part of high school is learning social skills, and while all adolescents have some troubles, the more involved and mature ones often do suffer. (No interest in drawing up a ‘slut list’? How antisocial!). </p>

<p>Oldfort, the difference between your 2 D’s, both bright and attractive, one more mainstream than the other, would make a good thread, I think. I have a feeling the OP’s daughter is going to do just fine, but I don’t blame her for wanting to escape high school!</p>

<p>I would like to recommend my college, Beloit College which was already mentioned. It sounds like the perfect place for your daughter. Students are accepted for who the really are no matter what. It has a very international flavor, with over 10% international students and very strong language/study abroad programs. The education is very intellectual and rigorous and students are all committed and excited about learning for the most part.</p>

<p>Her stats fall in line with many students. Lots of them are very bright, some with high test scores, that did not really do spectacular in high school for whatever reason. They are also very generous with financial aid.</p>

<p>It is a very similar type of school to places like Grinnell, Carleton, Oberlin and Bard.</p>