What do you think of my UC Personal statement essay?? Give me tips and advice?

Life’s Tough
Life as we know it is not a fairy tale; everyone has a moment of failure that makes them realize their potential and gives them the determination to achieve something in life. I came from a middle class family, full of struggles, from the state of Gujarat, India. Ever since childhood, I was exposed to the hardships life has to offer, my father, a businessman, went almost bankrupt due to the amount of money he had borrowed from people, and my mother had to take over the responsibilities and run the house. At the age of 11, I was in seventh grade, I failed in Science due to the lack of focus and problems our family was facing, my mother, though she never told me, had a disappointed look on her face as she knew that I would turn out like my dad if I didn’t pay attention in school. That look on my mother’s face made me realize that I am her only hope for the family’s better future and I decided to work purposefully to fulfill my mother’s wish.
A few years later my family decided to move to the United States in search of a better life for me and my elder sister. I quickly joined school as a freshman and started working hard on my reading and writing skills. I was placed in an ESL class, a class designed for immigrants with low English skills. But, proving myself, I swiftly transferred to an English 1-2 class in two months and decided to challenge myself by taking English 3-4 accelerated, English 5-6 Honors, and AP Literature in the following years of high school keeping up a solid A in all classes. I worked hard in competing with smarter kids in class and maintained a commendable G.P.A.
When I was approaching my senior year, I got puzzled in deciding my major, not knowing what I want to do with life. My mother at the time suggested me to look up to a person who would inspire and motivate me and almost instantaneously I remembered my Uncle. My Uncle had the same bearings I have, and I decided to take his example of success as my motivation. My Uncle had studied in Computer Science and Information Technology, and through his dedication and effort he was successfully offered a manager’s post in PwC, which indeed changed his life, he has a fixed job with a promised promotion every three to four years and a loving family. The success story of my Uncle truly shaped my career goal. I decided to do Computer Science as a major and took AP Computer Science in high school as a stepping stone to my career.
Life till now has given me many scenarios to step back and quit studies to support my family, but the abundance of educational opportunities in America has motivated me to work hard and achieve the level of success my mother has envisioned for me. It is now my goal to reach my dreams and have the financial ability to support my family. As Robert H. Schuller says “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” The obstacles me and my family has faced in life will not make me want to give up, but will make me have a tendency to strive harder in anything that I do in life.

This is just Prompt #1
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you in advance!