There is a simple solution to your problem. I bet if you go 15 miles in any direction from where you live, there is a HS without adequate college counseling, filled with ambitious first gen students who don’t know the slightest thing about visiting colleges or picking a safety. There is probably an organization or two in your own community which pairs up successful professionals with HS kids who are trying to “launch” all by themselves without any grownup help.
Your kid seems fine. But if his independence is raining on your parade, there are hundreds of kids within commuting distance of your house who would LOVE an adult to go through the college guides with them, who don’t have a single grownup in their lives who know the difference between an SAT and an ACT, or wants to talk about the difference between applying undecided or applying to be a history major.
Get cracking. Whining is pointless. Use your energy for all the kids out there who are high potential but who end up undershooting for lack of help, direction and advice. There are likely kids in your own neighborhood who will end up as ultrasound techs (not that there’s anything wrong with that) just because they didn’t get enough guidance to understand that they would be solid candidates for a wide range of better paying/higher potential health care careers- and the ultrasound program is on the bus line, and their Pell covers tuition.