What Happened to my Essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>I would really, really appreciate your criticisms. I did this essay a while ago, and would like to know what to change to improve it. I can't remember the prompt, sorry.</p>

<p>What grade would you give this essay?</p>

<p>What are some problems with it?</p>

<p>Thanks! I will grade your essays back, if you want.</p>

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2

<p>Please help!</p>

3

<p>:bump: Your help would be greatly appreciated!</p>

4

<p>3/6. It is too short, the examples are a little immature and vague, and you actually argue against your thesis in the conclusion (the last thing the graders see!)</p>

5

<p>You are exactly correct :slight_smile: I got a 6/12.</p>

<p>What could I have done to make my examples more “mature”? I had a 74/80 MC, so I need to fix my essay!</p>

6

<p>This should set you on track:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

7

<p>Thanks for that link! much appreciated</p>

8

<p>Very hard to tell how well you did without the prompt. You seem to be responding to something like “Will generating solutions to problem just lead to subsequent problems”.</p>

<p>If that is the case, your position is too wishy washy. Your conclusion seems to equivocate on your position. The conclusion is the place to restate and reenforce your thesis, not back off of it. Your introduction could be a little clearer in articulating your thesis. For instance: “when we consider examples from cancer treatment, medicine, and agricultural development it becomes clear that…”</p>