I would have cast a much wider net, and started the whole process so much earlier than we did. We were uninformed, rushed and blissfully ignorant. I wish I had found this forum a year before I did.
I am not a parent, but several of the things that I would improve were, as Britmom said, apply to more schools/cast a much wider net and start the process earlier. I would also have liked to spend more time on my essays and I felt that I should have been more prepared for my interview.
I would have cast a much wider net as well. There were some schools my daughter didn’t look at because I
assumed I knew enough about the school to be “not interested”. I learned you don’t know a school until you actually visit it. One school we toured that I had assumed to be snobby and materialistic turned out to be especially warm and inclusive.
Also, I scheduled the interview for the school we were most interested in first; this was a mistake. My daughter warmed up considerably through the process and her later interviews were stronger. Instead, first schedule the school you think you are least interested in.
My daughter did not underestimate the importance of the SSAT. She studied for it, did well on it, and if she gets an acceptance, her SSAT score will have helped.
D would have done more in summers before sophomore and junior years
Wje9164be - for college applications? Or Prep school?
Start the process earlier.
Earlier would have been good…but it never occurred to me that we would be on this path. One thing I did this year (second time around) was brag more. I don’t really think parental bragging would have changed the outcome last year, but it made me feel better to know that I had done my best to say how wonderful my daughter is.
Hindsight is so frustrating. Not having experience with the whole process, it would never have occurred to me to start much earlier - but I so wish that I had. Listen well, future generations!
One thing I think we did right and have repeated the second time around (results pending) was to have our kids apply to at least one school we knew they could get into. That way, even if they ended up at the local public school they could honestly say they chose it and didn’t end up there because they didn’t get in anywhere.
I definitely wish I started the process earlier. I made the decision to “just go for it,” apply to BS around Thanksgiving after talking with some current students there–they loved it, and after doing more research, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. I wish I realized it sooner–I was uncertain for a while (before November)…just the usual “cold feet”: Do I have to leave home? How often will I see my family? etc., But now I am glad to be applying and 100% certain on attending BS.
I had to cram a lot because of my late start and ended up only applying to two schools because the stress of completing 3+ applications was just too much for me. If I could do it over again, I would have started the process last June.
Because we applied two years in a row, I definitely would have cast a wider net the first time around, so as to avoid doing it all over again!
There were a few schools (not necessarily safeties) that we crossed off our list early on, for no good reason other than logistics. The visits, interviews and essays are definitely very time-consuming, but I would encourage future applicants to keep an open mind and spend enough time up front to explore as many options as you can. Also, as I’ve written before, my daughter initially was only interested in large schools. She’s now at a small school (Cate) and is really truly loving it. The pros and cons of a large/small school are still valid IMHO, but in the end, other factors came into play for her.
Another thing that I’ve thought a bit about recently, as I’m speaking to friends with kids at other schools, is the proportion of kids coming from private vs. public schools. This is a question that I never thought to ask for some reason, and based on what I’ve heard, the number varies widely. It may or may not be important to you (it certainly never even crossed my mind while we were going through the process), but it could have an impact on the social dynamic of the school, especially Freshman year.
I wish we had contacted coaches earlier in the process - we filled out athletic inquiry forms at our initial inquiry, but my DD emailed the coach of the 2 team sports she plays in January AFTER applications had been submitted. She sent link to a highlight clip for each of the sports she plays and has had a lot of back and forth communication and interest from coaches. If we had done this earlier, she would have had more time to correspond and to meet the coach when we visited the school. I didn’t realize how large a role athletics would play in the admission process.
The one thing I would do differently is run the OOS net calculators before my son applied to 3 OOS schools. Would have saved 2 application fees
MODERATOR’S NOTE
The OP is asking what you learned in applying to prep schools, not colleges. Please keep answers on topic. Thanks.
As this is our second time around, first and foremost, cast a wider net. We did much better this time with connecting with both coaches and admissions officers, which we did not do the first time around. We also made sure to really highlight our child’s strengths in areas such as art, theater and public speaking, which we did not do in the last cycle. I am with twinsmama… I did much more bragging in my parent interviews as I know my child does not love to toot her own horn. I also believe that even though your child looks like they fit the bill at all the schools they are applying to, there really is not a lot of rhyme nor reason as to why they ultimately get in or not. I am trying to keep this in perspective when M10 rolls around this year.
@GMC2918 - can you speak a bit about some of the differences you are hearing about with the different proportion of public vs. private school students?
This was something that didn’t cross my mind at all until after our visits and interviews were done and I started noticing some differences at the local private schools we were also looking at. I didn’t connect it to the “private vs. public school” thing until very recently, and would love to hear more about how others perceive these differences.
@jmtabb I’m sorry not to have seen this earlier! I didn’t mean to avoid the question, although it is a little tricky and I don’t want to get into a private vs. public school debate, because that’s not really the point. I guess my point is that when we evaluate schools, we are of course interested in the mix of students that the schools admit - geographic, economic, racial, academic interests, etc. etc. etc. That mix is, to me, at the heart of the boarding school experience. When you choose boarding over day, I think that you are consciously or unconsciously assuming a broader peer group, simply because you’re no longer limited by geography.
That said, a few friends of mine have been a little surprised-ranging-to-disappointed by the relatively large % of private school kids in their child’s freshman class at some of the top schools discussed here. These friends of mine are all coming from a private school background, so it’s certainly not that they dislike private schools. It’s more like they were hoping for more of a mix. At lunch with three other mothers whose daughters are currently freshmen at three different schools, this was a hot topic. One of them said that 75% of her daughter’s class comes from private school (she got this statistic from the class list).
The “75% mom” (and the one who was the most “disappointed”) felt that this dynamic created a difficult social situation. Many of these private schools are feeders in a way, and send a few kids every year, so they have a definite social presence on campus. The freshmen that come from these schools arrive on Day One with a social network already in place. My friend’s DD is one of them, but her roommate is not, and that has caused some angst.
(In reading this over, there certainly are “feeder” public schools as well…)
The general consensus around the table at lunch that day was that these differences would become less important as time goes on, when it becomes less about where you’re coming from and more about your current interests. But none of us had even thought to ask this question while we were looking at schools. All of the statistics that we ALL collect, and we had never asked about this one! Again, maybe it’s less about public vs. private and more about “how many are coming from feeder schools and/or are siblings & legacies and already know a ton of kids”. That’s a tough question to ask, I’m sure, and probably not one for the interview 
But maybe it’s something to keep in mind during revisits?
@GMC2918: We visited a school that we liked very, very much… but during the visit, we sat at a lunch table with a large group of freshmen (who were all day students) who had all come from a local private “feeder school”. My daughter asked them how many kids in their class came from that school and when she heard “A LOT”, her interest in the school waned immediately. it is a different dynamic.
Thanks for responding and giving us your thoughts on this. This wasn’t on our radar at all when we did our campus visits and interviews, though the one school we had crossed off our list after visiting may have had some of that that we picked up on unconsciously now that I look back on it.
Where we (well, I) really noticed the public vs. private thing was at interviews for our local private school. In the waiting room the kids (and parents) interviewing in the time slots after ours ALL knew each other - and knew some of the kids in the pictures in the slide show showing in the waiting room. It was a bit disconcerting, to be honest.
We are on the “left coast”, and the whole family flew out to New England to tour and interview in the fall. We’re not sure yet if we’ll make the effort to come back for revisit days yet as it will mean missing more school here. If we do this will be something that I look much more closely for.
I really do not see a real problem with a boarding school taking significant numbers from the same private school. And from our personal experience it really does not have that much bearing on the social structure. My D is about to graduate from a boarding school that took 10 students from her private school and had done likewise in previous years. So she knew many current students going in. Sure they may have hung together the first week of school because they were familiar with each other, but after that I can say with certainty that they all branch out. Not one of her former classmates is in her closest group of friends. Sure they all remain friendly since they come mostly from the same town, but that background did not define their social groups once in boarding school.
My own impression is that what sports you play, what clubs you join and what dorm you end up in have the most bearing on how social groups are formed. Some international students do self-segregate the first couple of years.