<p>Son may have failed right out of his chosen school. It appears his 2nd sem grades are horrendous. He's 'semi-international' in that he's American, but grew up overseas (I'm US DoD working aborad). His challenges were enormous - he was a stranger in a strange land that is his own country! </p>
<p>I don't know when his school will inform us if he's been dropped. Even if he stays, his fin aid (mainly grant, no merit) could be severely slashed in which case we could not afford the school. Best case is that they let him go back and aid stays the same - but I'm worried that may be highly unlikely.</p>
<p>It is now, obviously, getting on into mid-May. I want to be proactive because of our location and it's going to be nightmarish if we do have to go get all his just-stored stuff and get him to a new school somewhere. Will 4-year colleges even look at a student in this situation, at this time of year? He had some very nice offers from a few other schools this time last year - but he chose the most challenging one -- and got blown away.</p>
<p>I am hoping, hoping, hoping (as is he - he realizes he screwed up and was actually making some strides forward this past semester) that he can remain at his current school. </p>
<p>Anyone have any experience or info on what to do here? I would guess the school will let us know pretty quickly if he's been cut - finals ended this week. But in the meantime, I feel I can't just sit here and wait - and that he and I need to be prepared to go to Plan B right away.</p>
<p>The advice to deal directly with his advisor and department for options and exact ramifications is the most effective. Also, the reasons for his poor performance need to be addressed. The policies are school specific, and his options and plan of action should be made in conjunction with the folks who know.</p>
<p>Thanks, violadad, that’s good advice. We definitely need to be proactive at his still-current school above anything else!</p>
<p>Son gets off the plane today and, without ruining Mother’s Day for mom! - we’ll all sit down tomorrow and see what we need to do. I have already contacted the international student advisor who was instrumental with his initial application. Will await his advice and go from there.</p>
<p>I do hope you check with your child’s school. Each school has its own policy.
One of my children had a dismal semester in freshman year, to the point of suspension which typically required a semester of separation.
Child got a letter from the dean offering an opportunity to pull the GPA up to probationary standards by taking ‘in residence’ summer school. Child’s transcript would be reviewed before fall semester and if GPA was at ‘probation’ or better, child could return for fall semester. Advice was offered suggesting evaluation of lifestyle decisions.</p>
<p>Highly selective schools don’t like to see kids flunk out. The likelihood is that they will put him on academic probation, or recommend leave. Being in close contact with advisors is the best idea. I hope something works out.</p>
<p>Your student may need to sign a FERPA release so you can discuss issues with his academic advisor. Given the seriousness of the situation, that would be a first necessary step for us to even consider continuing to pay tuition at our house.</p>
<p>As harsh as it may sound, I agree with the above. We were clear with our kids…we were willing to finance their college educations IF they held up their part of the deal. Their part was to pass the courses AND not to get into any legal flaps. Either was a deal breaker for us. Both knew that if they failed a course, they would be coming home for at least a semester and attending the community college. </p>
<p>I think the most important thing to find out is what happened. Surely this student had an inkling that they were in academic trouble in two classes. MOST schools have some kind of tutorial assistance, study groups or something. AND all profs have office hours when a student can seek assistance. </p>
<p>I hope you can resolve the underlying reason for the course failures BEFORE you make a decision to send this student back to the same school again.</p>
<p>Depending on the school, a student who’s ineligible for fall classes may still be allowed to take summer classes (assuming the school offers them). If he retakes a few classes during the summer, he may be able to raise his GPA and get reinstated.</p>
<p>This assumes he’s actually ineligible at this point. Was he on academic probation at the end of his first semester?</p>
<p>cbheck, How was your S’s first semester? Was it better than Spring S2 semester? Do you know what the minimum gpa for rentention is?</p>
<p>S2(freshman) had a horrible first semester. He was put on academic probation for Spring sem. We immediately contacted his advisor. His school allows 3 grade substitions during a student’s career. S2 repeated three classes this semester. These better grades will replace the failures of first semester and boost his gpa. </p>
<p>At S2’s school, if a student is suspended, he is not allowed to take courses at any other sch (including cc)during the suspenssion period if he plans to return to his univ. after the semester suspension.<br>
Get in contact with his advisor as soon as possible to find out what the options are.<br>
S2’s advisor was really helpful when he was in your S’s situation last sem.</p>
<p>Is the work too hard for him? He needs tutoring, and perhaps some advice about which courses to choose.</p>
<p>Does he have a drug or alcohol addiction? Then he shouldn’t return to college until he’s sober.</p>
<p>Maybe he doesn’t know how to organize his studies and his time. Then he needs help with organization and time management. He will need to check in with you or a coach frequently at first to make sure he’s remaining on track.</p>
<p>Bottom line, he shouldn’t return to this or another college until you and he understand what went wrong and how it’s going to change.</p>
<p>My point about FERPA was that an academic advisor may not be able to tell you what the specific options are without your student’s consent. As far as what’s going on with your student (be it partying, study skills, tough classes, GF/BF or mental health issues), I think that is evaluated at home, now that the semester is finished, through discussions within the family and whatever support services might be necessary before he heads back to school.</p>
<p>S1 had absolutely no problem with signing a FERPA release when he went off to school and he renewed it on his own initiative when he turned 18. He did poorly in one class winter quarter and while we did not contact his advisor, we were pretty firm with him about getting his act together, and pronto. His other grades have all been excellent, and we knew this was a re-occurrence of an issue he had in HS. Part of getting that act together includes seeing his advisor regularly, letting us know how he’s doing on assignments, and going to class – no excuses. </p>
<p>I would MUCH rather see S get his act together and access internal and external resources himself than have us get involved with the advisor.</p>
<p>“I would MUCH rather see S get his act together and access internal and external resources himself than have us get involved with the advisor.”</p>
<p>I agree. Parents can advise the student such as encourage the student to talk to their advisor and to use other resources on campus. Even if the school allows the student with horrible grades to return next semester, the parent can insist that the student prove themselves by coming home and going to a community college and getting decent grades before returning to college.</p>
<p>Based on our experience with older S, I don’t think it’s advisable for parents to meet with advisors, etc. That S had a .38 (You read that right) fall semester of freshman year, and with that S’s permission, H flew 1,000 miles to meet with S and his advisor. The advisor was very helpful in getting S in an organizational workshop, and helping S pick classes with interesting professors and subjects. Despite this, S – who was one of the top freshman at that school – still flunked out. We later learned that S flunked out because he was partying hard, wasn’t going to class, and was far more interested in partying and going to sports games than doing any academics in college.</p>
<p>FERPA release is in place. Issues are not related to drugs/alcohol, in fact somehwat the opposite. He felt outcast at times because he’s just not into the party scene.</p>
<p>We (and he) know what the issues are: adjustment. He grew up on a US military base school overseas from the age of 6. Suddenly going to the States and into college (as a student-athlete) comes with its own unique challenges. These kids are not ‘foreign’, but they also have little idea what their homegrown peers are really like. They are socio-geographic ‘tweeners, and this has caused the majority of the issues. The truly international students have their own support system, and of course the homegrown kids are mainly on the same page and have each other, or parents a few hours’ flight (or ten minute drive) away. We saw our son at Christmas and now we will see him again, finally, in about three hours when we head out to the airport after his 19 hours of flying!). </p>
<p>He just got blown away by it all, just no idea what to expect, but has made progress towards understanding what it really takes to ‘be there’, and to thrive, in the past 1/2 semester - too late to really slavage his GPA, but not too late to show that he can do this. </p>
<p>We will certainly take all the great advice offered here, let him know what he needs to do in situation X or situation Y, and hope for the best.</p>
<p>The needs of third culture kids are different. I have now seen 1 through college, 1 has 1 more week!</p>
<p>Look very, very carefully at the selected school. Does it really meet the needs of a TCK? Is it cosmopolitan enough (this can mean different things), open minded enough? Does your son have an advisor who really knows him? Are there are other TCK’s? </p>
<p>I think it is very important for some TCKs to be in proximity to their extended family. Are there people nearby?</p>
<p>Does he have a sense of affiliiation with the school- does he belong to a social group or organization which he really feels a part of? </p>
<p>As you are trying to figure out if you can make the school work, try to figure out if it really is the right school…now that he knows more.</p>
<p>Is he spending the summer with you? I think that as they get over the culture shock of moving back to the US, a summer in the US can really, really help…working, getting connected, etc.</p>
<p>cbheck, is there some local option on your base for your son to retake a course or two to bring up his GPA over the summer? (UMUC, Central Texas College, etc)</p>
<p>He would need to make sure such a course would be accepted by the home university. I know my daughter’s college would not accept distance-learning courses for transfer credit when she checked into it last year, but they would have accepted a traditional classroom course (we’re also at an overseas base).</p>
<p>Being a TCK myself, I wouldn’t assume that cultural adjustments are part of an academic problem – especially if your son attended an international school based on an American curriculum.</p>
<p>cbheck, sorry to hear about your student’s first year performance. I have no advice about the possibility of transferring but do not assume that a change of colleges will translate into academic success. I attended both OSU and Cornell(as a grad student) in engineering and found the academic rigor to be surprisingly comparable.</p>
<p>Students almost always fail in college because of personal issues rather that the academic challenges. Colleges adcoms frequently point out that if admitted, students will be up to the academics of the college. Having spent my entire life in a university environment I found very few student who were intellectually unable to graduate. The students who flunked/dropped out were almost universally immature, lacked discipline and did not take academics seriously. A few exhibited emotional challenges which compounded matters.</p>
<p>My recommendation is to determine what problems your son encountered this academic year. One option may be to take a year off so he can see first hand what the real world is like.</p>
<p>I agree with fendrock. The student may have cultural problems, but he also has academic problems which are probably unrelated to the cultural problems. Colleges have a different academic culture than the typical high school, and most freshmen, not just third culture kids, are learning to navigate that.</p>
<p>Given your unusual living situation, it may be a good idea for your son to give you permission to communicate with his advisors.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say this for your typical U.S. student – who can go home, live with his parents, and attend a community college and/or get a job.</p>
<p>But your son is in an unusual situation. He can’t live with you and attend community college because you live outside the U.S. And if he lives with you, he might not be able to work if he can’t get a permit to work outside the U.S. Living on his own in the U.S. and working or attending community college might be a formidable challenge for him.</p>
<p>originaloog recommended that your son take a year off and see what the real world is like. The problem is that his particular real world is much scarier and more difficult to handle than the real world of an ordinary American student whose family lives in the United States or an ordinary international student whose family lives in the country where they are citizens. </p>
<p>Does your son have any relatives or close family friends in the United States? If he has to leave college, perhaps the best option for him would be to go live in their community (staying with them at first and later finding a place of his own or sharing an apartment with other young people), while either attending a community college or working. Being near relatives or friends whom he could go to for advice, when necessary, could be very helpful. </p>
<p>I am assuming that the other obvious option – military service – does not appeal to him. He grew up in a military environment; I figure that if he wanted to join the service, he would already have done so.</p>