What if your college experience was much less than awesome?

<p>Two years ago, I started a bachelor's degree in accounting at Boston College. I was one of the very few commuter students on campus, but I thought that I would have an awesome experience nonetheless.</p>

<p>Two years later, college is okay, but wasn't as awesome as I had hoped. At times, it's quite lonely and isolating, largely because I don't have any friends. I chalk it up to the fact that I never lived on campus. During my freshman year, I tried making friends, but no one seemed interested in hanging out with me (maybe because they didn't see me very much and didn't know me very well outside of class). I also didn't want to seem overly clingly, especially as a stranger, so I never pushed myself into other people's lives, and as a result, ended up with very few social connections. The clubs were anemic and met at very late hours, limiting my participation in them. I couldn't make a crack at the service organizations. </p>

<p>I did, however, end up knowing a few faculty members in the school of management more well than actual students themselves, through office hours and other faculty-student functions. But, the social life I dreamed of in high school for college never quite materialized. In fact, I had more of a social life in high school than I do now.</p>

<p>It's my fifth semester, and I am graduating in less than twenty months. I don't know, perhaps I didn't try hard enough as a commuter student to integrate myself into the community better, but I had obligations outside of school which kept me from hanging out there till the wee hours. And even if I was more aggressive in building social relationships with my peers, I don't know if it would have gotten me very far, since I didn't live in a dorm and other people might be turned off such social aggressiveness.</p>

<p>Don't get me wrong - I like my school. The people and staff are generally nice and the education is solid. I feel as if I my parents and I are getting our money's worth in the tuition we pay. But I didn't make any true, lifelong friends. I can't say that I did anything cool or awesome other than bagging groceries on weekday nights or studying while I was there. To me, college was simply another vocation. A checklist of items to sign off. A means to an end, and nothing more.</p>

<p>I guess the point I am trying to make is: What if your college experience was much less than "awesome"? How do some of us reconcile our meager college experiences with the ones that others had? Or do we as a society, put too much of an emphasis on encouraging our children to make sure that they enjoy themselves in college, because everyone else had an "awesome" college experience?</p>

<p>Does anyone else believe that their college experiences, past or present, were negative or mixed? If so, please share.</p>

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<p>Same problem with me. Started college a month ago.</p>

<p>Made a lot of acquaintances, but nothing solid.</p>

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<p>There is your problem ;)</p>

<p>The awesome college experience is not a universal thing. In fact, people who have the “amazing college experience” are probably in the minority, for many different reasons. Lots of events in our lives are supposed to be amazing and meaningful, and they are to a lot of people, creating the stereotype, but to some they are not. And that’s okay, because those people will have other amazing experiences. It just might not be the stereotypical ones. </p>

<p>So college for you wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. For a lot of people, I am sure that is the case. Some people love it, some hate it, some feel neutral. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but I’m sure there will be lots of other really wonderful times in your future. I understand that it is probably frustrating, but just remember that lots of people are in your position - it only seems like everyone else is having an amazing time.</p>

<p>To me the main place to make friends is freshman year in the dorms and then again in your upper division classes. It may be that many of the people in your major just suck, I have a buddy who is majoring in Philo and honestly I have met some of the Melvins he takes classes with and they are the most boring bumps on a log I have ever met.</p>

<p>If it was me, I would enroll in a freshman theater class for non majors. These classes provide a ton of social interaction and are fun classes where it would not seem weird to ask a fellow student to go grab a beer (like it does in a huge lecture hall) hell invite the whole class to go to the bar, after every class the whole semester, you never know in some of these classes the prof might come too and buy.</p>

<p>Mine hasn’t been that awesome. At first I was incredibly disappointed partly because of the fact that everybody hypes up college so much and also because high school sucked so I was assuming it would be a million times better. It’s definitely better but not the greatest thing ever.</p>

<p>I’d try not to worry too much dude. You’ve probably got at least 60 more years on you, plenty of time to have fun and make memories.</p>

<p>“bachelor’s degree in accounting
There is your problem”</p>

<p>haha. definitely. someone special to me once said: “a business degree is like a certificate.” that definitely made a huge impact on me!</p>

<p>debits and credits is not where it’s at bro! just sayin’!</p>

<p>My problem is that I carry fears from life before college over here. I mean, I ended up with THE best hall, and the best RA, and everyone’s already so tight-knit, and it’s only been a week and a half. But back at home, I had trust issues with people because of various reasons, and since then I’ve always assumed the worst of people. So I’m afraid that these really good friends that I’ve been making recently are going to end up the same as everyone else.<br>
But I had a conversation with one of the group leaders from my orientation about this, and it really encouraged me. Not that it’s changed anything immediately, but I’m determined to give these people a chance. It’s hard, and I find myself needing alone time sometimes, but I’m hoping for the best.</p>

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<p>Sorry, but they are the same as everyone else.</p>

<p>That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a chance, though.</p>

<p>“Or do we as a society, put too much of an emphasis on encouraging our children to make sure that they enjoy themselves in college, because everyone else had an “awesome” college experience?” YES.</p>

<p>I <em>hated</em> college, but this was largely due to external problems. Had I not had those problems, I probably would have liked college a lot more. </p>

<p>But I think there’s a valuable lesson in that. Sometimes things that are supposed to be good don’t turn out that way at all – expectations aren’t met, goals aren’t reached, curveballs get thrown, other opportunities are missed, etc. However, I eventually managed to land a spot here in NYC, and I’m much happier than I was in college now that I’m working and meeting new people in different ways.</p>

<p>Don’t get too hung up over a less-than-ideal college experience, as life is much bigger than that. College is unique in the sense that most kids have four years of financed freedom, fun, exploration, and higher learning. It’s an awesome way to live life on paper, but sometimes things don’t unfold the same way for everyone. I look back at my college experience and wish things had been different, but life goes on. </p>

<p>College is just one step of many, so use your education to your advantage and craft the kind of life you want to live after you graduate. Having a great social life doesn’t end at 22.</p>

<p>honestly, people like you or they don’t. forget them if they don’t like you. find your way of getting yours.</p>

<p>take amphetamines and get in your car and drive to California… it’s all good man. everyone gets their’s one day, right… at least we like think. it’s all in the mind; modify it, bro!</p>

<p>live your one life! love yourself. follow your heart. death is inevitable - so just do whatever man seriously.</p>