Sorry, I purposely “moderated” that whole Manhattan discussion. 
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I was hoping for some recipes…
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You bet! That chicken has a cult following!!
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I have family in almost every borough of NYC. I have lived in the area my whole life. The city is very expensive, but you do not have to spend $200,000 a year on rent, $20 a day on lunch for 1 person, or send your kids to fancy schools.
I have family in Manhattan - they do not spend anything close to that on rent, and the kids share a room.
My daughter just left a beautiful 3 bedroom upper Manhattan apartment. No elevator, no doorman. The inside of the building needs a lot of work, but the apartment is very nice. The rent for the entire apartment is currently well under $4000 per month (3 br, 2 bath). I am not suggesting this is easy for a single family to afford, but it is not close to $200.000 a year.
What you are describing…is called “very rich.”
Sorry…I know this is off topic.
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That’s a great price for that size apartment in most large cities, not just NYC.
Rents are going up a lot!
Yes they are, sadly.
Thank you for posting this.
What I took away from the article is that the minimum amount that gets your into the top 5% is variable (WV = $171,816 at the low end and $250,000 in several states at the high end) but more interesting is the average within the band. That ranged from $280,030 (WV) to $579,711 (CT). I can see how those who just meet the minimum in some states may not feel “rich” relative to the cohort. I can also see that could impact how you think you or your kids are doing financially.
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OP- if you are still here, you’ve obviously figured out that if you have raised a kid who does not believe that without spending $100/week on lunch sandwiches he will starve-- you are to be commended.
I always wonder how someone who makes a nice salary can be perpetually “broke” (in their own minds) and this thread amplifies that for me. Yes, there are plenty of affluent folks in NYC (Manhattan AND the other boroughs: Riverdale and Forest Hills and Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights have plenty of folks living in multi-million dollar homes and apartments) who can barely eke out a living- and plenty of less affluent folks who live nice lives and manage on less (and complain less).
I guess I would worry more about my kid- a federal employee- if I felt he spent his life perpetually looking over his shoulder at whose apartment has more square footage and who eats a more luxurious take-out meal. Fortunately- and in the real world- most people find a way to balance their budget and enjoy (and be grateful for) the life they have.
Neela- do you not know a single family living the “median income” lifestyle in NYC?
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Maybe they are like us. We would prefer to give our kids things now than have them get an inheritance when we die. We want to see them enjoy what we give them.
This has nothing to do with their earning power. We give the kid who earns more the same or close as the kid who earns less.
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Actually, the rotisserie chicken is very appropriate for this thread. That chicken will be the ticket to a lot of good meals for the content park ranger who can find ways to trim his other bills to make his moderate income go a little further so he can manage to work a job he loves and live a life he is happy with. $4.99 chicken can probably get a single person at least 8 meals on the table or several dinners and a few packed lunches.
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@abasket you said this better than I did!
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I don’t know. I am just saying if I make a uniform definition as to a quality of life across the country in terms of amenities, and you want to bring that lifestyle into Manhattan, it just costs money. As you well know. Living in NJ or CT and working in Manhattan doesn’t count as bringing that lifestyle into Manhattan. Because that would be living in NJ or CT. Not living in Manhattan. I know many people who do live in the city. And nobody feels rich. I have a kid who is likely going into a job next year, and we were discussing rents, and they are high.
The $20 lunch is very real. Maybe $18. Things have shot up post covid. My work is paying for everyone’s lunch every day (whoever wants to come in) because otherwise no one wants to come in.
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A pension? What’s that?
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Lol - while we live on a lot less than most here, those $4.99 rotisserie chickens feed our family of 4 for 1 meal. We are big people 
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But the point is that the amenities that define the upper middle class lifestyle in Cincinnati OH or Tulsa OK or Charlotte NC do not apply in Manhattan. I’ve lived in those kinds of cities- you need a 5,000 square foot home near a golf course, at least two fancy cars, both a country club membership AND some other type of club- hunting/fishing or whatnot. You need a workout room- preferably the entire basement. And you need multiple wardrobes- the colorful Lily and J Mclaughlin club wardrobe, the colorful St. John and Oscars for benefit luncheons, the travel wardrobes for the weekends in Naples or Amelia Island.
Upper Middle Class people in NYC don’t live that way. Even seriously rich people don’t live that way. So you are looking at “what would it cost to live like an Ohio bank president” and transporting it to the Upper West Side. Which is why your math is so faulty.
Nobody feels rich- that’s on them.
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I’ve substantially toned things down to a 1500 sft apartment :-). We can quibble whether it is a sufficient tone down. It is not for me to impose some life style on people. Obviously it is on them. Nobody is saying it is on us.
But these national statistics as to which who is upper class and who is umc, when applied to some parts of the country, sound silly.
Agree with this.
But I think you will also agree with me that for some people- no amount of money is ever enough. You can go broke on 500K per year, you can go broke on 50K per year, you can go broke on 5 million per year. Ask any bankruptcy lawyer. And if you have any friends who are divorce lawyers-- particularly those with an affluent clientele- they can tell you how easy it is to feel “poor” post-divorce, even if the settlement is fair, reasonable, and provides for a comfortable life for both sides. (not talking about cases where the kids spend weekends living it up at Dad’s, only to be eating canned beans at mom’s during the week).
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I have no idea why I can’t get this image to load.
At any rate, it is a photo of a Dear Abby letter from many moons ago that my friend recently sent me.
The letter talks about the difference between giving with warm hands (while still living) and giving with cold hands (self-explanatory). The author of the letter prefers the former and writes of how much pleasure it gives her to give now.
The warm hands v cold hands is an issue I have shifted positions on a bit. Historically, we were very much, “Here is your pile for education - use it as you see fit. If you don’t use it all the balance can be yours for a down payment on a house or maybe a car.” (Any leftovers would not have been a free-for-all). Ds used all of his pile on his undergraduate degree going to a full-pay private institution. Now he is returning to b-school this fall. I am helping some, but dh is not on that page. We have yours, mine, and ours resources in our household - this is coming out of my resources, and I basically started saving for the purpose of grad school when he started undergrad. I am funding around 60% of the cost. We could absolutely fund all of it, but dh doesn’t want to do that. He was very clear that after undergrad he was done. We will, however, be the bank of mom and dad and loan him money for whatever his own resources plus my contribution won’t cover. I would be of the mindset to forgive that down he road, but dh is not.
I have had friends fund homes for their children - some outright buying them houses, some doing down payments. Historically, that is another thing I would have never done. Now I might.
I think it can be tricky because I sure wouldn’t want to overgive and then wind up needing financial help from ds. I have also seen adult kids who reach a near-entitlement expectation from generous parents.
I would not want to be in a situation where I was paying to actually support my adult kid’s basic life necessities. As my friend mentioned above is.
@CC_Jon ive read this three times and it still comes up as not read. I’m not wishing to highjack the thread so hope others don’t respond… but if you know where this is happening, maybe you can get it fixed.
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Sure. There are always people :-).