What is a parent to do?

Parents Forum
41

<p>Let's do the math. </p>

<p>According to College Board:
Illinois Instate: 12,240 (Tuition) + 8,764 (Room and Board) = 21,004
Wisconsin OOS: 21,818 (Tuition) + 7,700 (Room and Board) = 29,518 </p>

<p>Difference is $8514 per year, roughly $34,000 over 4 years. 100K -> 66K
$66K Loan, 8.5% 10 years, equal payments of $818/mo
$66K Loan, 8.5% 20 years, equal payments of $573/mo</p>

<p>A lot better but still not great. </p>

<p>As others have said, his first choice should be to leverage the ACT score to get into a top school that meets full demonstrated need. The best schools still do this. After that, he should to look at very good schools that give merit aid. With a 32, he has a shot at a full ride at U of Pittsburgh. </p>

<p>Good luck</p>

42

<p>Who overruled you for child #1's debt load? Is this going to be an issue this time around?</p>

<p>With <em>2</em> more kids to go through college, a wife who may or may not get back into the workforce again soon, and neither of your potential jobs safe in this sinking economy, I think you and your wife first need to agree on an approach. Is your retirement fund on track? Make no more promises about college spending for your children until that is realistically set.</p>

<p>I am going to presume that your retirement plans are modest to ragged and require some attention. I could be wrong, but that is the state for the average family with kids these days.</p>

<p>What I think you need to decide with your wife is to sit down with your 2 younger children and tell them "We can afford X per each of you to go through college. That number is NOT set in stone. What that means is the number might go down even more if the economy tanks or other financial problems occur."</p>

<p>Guess what, that "X" number might be zero. You wouldn't be the first family.</p>

<p>Start advising your remaining two children to take out LESS than a TOTAL of 23K max in their own student loan debt. If you want to calculate a smaller number (or larger - that's for fools), feel free. But I think parents do their children great disservice to advice their children to take on such huge debt for a <em>bachelor's</em> degree.</p>

<p>The problem really is that middle class parents (I read a study on this) believe that in order to "keep up with the Jones" they must send their child to the "financial reach" college. It is part of the whole middle-class mindset. Doing otherwise kicks the parent's beliefs about what it means to be a successful middle class American family. Once you unravel all of your hidden beliefs that chain you to a set of expectations that cripple your retirement options and/or saddle your 22 year old with 100K in debt upon graduation - you can look at whether or not an education from UWisc is really worth the EXTRA premium.</p>

<p>Here are options TOO FEW middle class parents want to tell their children - Go to community college for 2 years. Transfer to a decent but affordable local college. </p>

<p>Going to college to "find oneself" or to get the "best education money can provide" are for the Insanely Rich -- but the middle class parent desperately wants this for their middle class children -- putting their own family's finances in peril and strangling their children with crippling student loan debt in the process.</p>

<p>Wake up. Really. You blew it with your first child</p>

<p>I hear you rationalizing how great and bright and motivated your son is, but 100K at graduation is LIFE ALTERINGLY stressful and crippling for even the brightest and most motivated of children.</p>

<p>Free your younger children from this burden. Get realistic. You will be disappointed. Your children will be disappointed. But then realistic plans can be made.</p>

<p>Anniika</p>

43

<p>"According to College Board:
Illinois Instate: 12,240 (Tuition) + 8,764 (Room and Board) = 21,004"</p>

<p>UIUC tuition varies depending on the specific college you attend. Engineering, Business, and the Sciences tend to be higher. More here (2008-09 rates, the new rates aren't up yet):
University</a> of Illinois Financial Aid: Undergraduate Resident 2008-2009 Cost</p>

<p>Oh, and don't forget the $3,000 they tack on in fees.</p>

44

<p>Last year at UofI Urb/Champ it cost $4,152 extra tuition if you were an engineering major. So tuition, room/board and fees equal $25,156 for 2008-09. That's a pretty big chunk of change.</p>

45

<p>Unfortunately for those of us in Illinois, UIUC is not much of a bargain for in-state students compared to many other state schools, especially if you're in the Engineering or Business schools. There are other somewhat less expensive state schools, but IMHO they're not comparable to UIUC (or Wisconsin at Madison). It sounds from the numbers like your sons are in a position where they don't qualify for financial aid but aren't getting much help with college expenses. That's a tough spot to be in when your state flagship is going to cost nearly $100,000 over 4 years. S2 should really be looking at other OOS publics - the ones with merit aid and/or OOS tuition waivers - or privates with generous merit aid.</p>

46

<p>This is a kid who should look into both good merit aid schools and need based aid schools--mostly privates.</p>

47

<p>I have felt guilty that between available funds decreasing and costs increasing, simultaneously, we could not provide our youngest the same experiences we did the oldest.</p>

<p>But DD has had a good attitude and actually benefited from watching her sibs do flagship publics. She did two years CC, is now at a small private (FAFSA only so nothing prestigious, but we need FAFSA not profile due to HE) with a merit award. Her two years there will cost the same as 4 years at the public, but she is doing great and already has mentors. It is proving to be a great decision</p>

48

<p>wow, i didn't realize the interest on student loans was up so high. 8.5%??</p>

<p>I feel very very very lucky that mine are about 2%!</p>

<p>and to the original poster, i wish your son (both of them if that is the case) luck in paying them back... the difference between 20k in loans and 280k house and 100k in loans and a 200k house is that the student loan portion is only across a 10-15 year period of time, so the 100k payment is going to be a LOT bigger then a 20k payment, whereas the house portion is over 30 years so the difference won't be nearly as great. and, with so much money tied up in that huge loan payback, saving or currently paying for a house at the same time may not even be possible.(imho)</p>

<p>and, I know you were the one who understood the economics of it, i was just making an example. :)</p>

49

<p>Did you parents cosign the $100,000 of loans with S1? If so, do you really have the collaterol to cosign ANOTHER $100,000 in loans? </p>

<p>If you are the cosigners, YOU are really signing this loan on a hope and prayer that the kiddos will be able to pay it back. </p>

<p>Our kids were TOLD they had to take out the Stafford loans, but we would NOT cosign anything in addition to those loans, especially since we were contributing to their education costs significantly while they attended undergrad school.</p>

<p>I agree with Mini...the mistake was the $100K for S1. </p>

<p>Just FYI...there ARE less expensive instate options IN Illinois. Kids don't HAVE to go to the flagship U.</p>

<p>P.S. I got my masters at Western Illinois University on FULL fellowship. Believe me, I wanted to go to Northwestern, or UVM but WIU made me a financial offer I could NOT refuse (free). I have been very successful at my career.</p>

50

<p>To answer the OP's title question, a parent is to guide their children to making the wise decision, and teach them that some wise decisions may hurt... at first, while the unwise decision can hurt for years and years and years. </p>

<p>Give S2 a budget and tell him to find a great school that your family can afford. He has other siblings and needs to be mindful of the entire family as well as the world economy right now. There are great schools that will offer him Merit $$. And what about private scholarships? It should be his job to root them out--much better than going into enormous debt. With your W not working and older son in college, will FinAid/grants be available? </p>

<p>If you don't take on this difficult parental role and instead give in--you inadvertently teach your kids to ignore rational analysis and leap into unacceptable risk. I have total compassion for what this wonderful talented S2 has been facing with Crohn's and the desire of you loving parents to let him have some relief and rewards to make up for his health disadvantages. But... it won't be a blessing to him in the end when he faces huge debt. The merit award schools, btw, really love their high stat students and will treat him very well--an nice extra bonus for a boy who deserves appreciation.</p>

<p>Best of luck to your family.</p>

51

<p>Thanks for all the replies, positive and negative.#1 had it in his mind he wanted Wisconsin or nothing and my wife and I almost got divorced because I said no and she talked to her rich brother in law (corporate lawyer)who is highly educated compared to the two of us who never went to college and he said let him do it so I looked like the bad guy so I gave up to save a marriage. The kicker to it was the University of Indiana had offered him around $8000 a year in aid but he didn't like the campus even though one of his best friends was going there and he knew nobody at Wisconsin.And now it is my wife that says I should let #2 go to Wisconsin but I did inform her of all the posters on here who said we were nuts and I think she is starting to realize he should look elsewhere.I hope.</p>

52

<p>Nothing like the "next to the Depression, the worst financial times since 1930" to bring some sanity to the table.</p>