What Is FAIR?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Aw Sybbie, I agree. I am almost embarassed at how attached I am to this cyber-group, and thank you for remembering what my D and I went through on the way to her current happy situation. Let's not forget Mootmom and TJFH, and Yulsie sending her kids overseas, and Momrath with a boy at Williams, and of course all the political ranting and raving over in the Cafe, and this year we have Mudge and Carolyn and Quiltguru and MomofWildChild (hooyah for Penn) and on and on and on.</p>

<p>In fact the more names I mention the more I remember and I might as well just list the roster. But I won't. But everyone counts. And anyone who is new, and wondering, how do these people know eachother and feels left out at all (I did when I started here) - Do Not Worry! It only takes a little typing, and a little thinking, and if you want you are part of it.</p>

<p>It does become a community.</p>

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<p>Sybbie,</p>

<p>Your post is a perfect expression of my feelings as well. Thanks for writing it.</p>

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<p>and don't forget the sacrifice we make for belonging to this wonderful community: We have to endure the sideways glances of family members when we refer to our friends with names like momofwildchild, interesteddad, and berurah.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
They are the ties that bind us as parents, as students and as a community here on CC. I don't count it robbery when one is singled out because I know that we've still got enough love, happiness, compassion and empathy to go around to everyone who so graciously tells their story here and Sinners alley is never out of free drinks.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>OMG, sybbie...................I simply should not, could not, DARE not add to something so heartfelt, eloquent, and universal--so I won't. Thank you for explaining so <em>perfectly</em> what so many of us here feel. I know that personally, my son and I would not have surivived this process but for the kind hearts that kept us safely enshrouded in and protected by love and optimism along the way.</p>

<p>I think the sentiment that is shared for andi and her son and so many others here is more than obvious. It should be treated by the administration with the respect and consideration that is so deserves. "Fairness" be damned. ~berurah</p>

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<p>Taking nothing away from the other posts on this thread, I, too, thank sybbie for her eloquence. I add binx for the post at #2 and robyrm for starting the thread.</p>

<p>And, garland, I <em>do</em> remember the name of those dang awards and shall nominate sybbie and binx both for their ability to put into words what so many of us are feeling.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
and don't forget the sacrifice we make for belonging to this wonderful community: We have to endure the sideways glances of family members when we refer to our friends with names like momofwildchild, interesteddad, and berurah.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>CLUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<------------------------------that was the sound of my hiney falling off of my chair from laughing SO hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg, andi, you are TOO MUCH!! love you bunches, ~berurah</p>

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<p>A thought: I "get" why the Mods proposed and implemented a Master Celebration thread. It keeps things neat. More importantly, it is a giant step toward recognizing the value of EVERY acceptance and award. Many have lamented (correctly, imo) a previous tendency to celebrate the HYPSM/AWS fat letters just that little bit more, leaving those with hard-earned admissions to other schools feeling a bit overlooked and underappreciated.</p>

<p>I think that this year's Master Acceptance and Master Merit Award threads are an exciting testimony to the breadth of appeal cc has. To how much we value every achievement without regard to what USN&WR might say. To how we get just as emotional over MinnesotaMom's GED and local college class as we do over her son's Princeton letter.</p>

<p>However, I think the desire not to single out any one acceptance missed the essential point being made here in this thread. Celebrating a happy outcome for andison is not about the fat envelope alone. It is about finishing the story, and continuing the lessons, that a truly courageous and generous poster - andi - brought to cc when she chose to bare her soul, exhibit her family's pain and learn from this wonderful resource, while teaching us as much we could ever teach her.</p>

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<p>B, I had to laugh at your response from andi because I am guilty of referring to you all as MOWC, Slugg, Curmie, etc.</p>

<p>MOWC,</p>

<p>I am so sorry I thought about you after I walked away from the keyboard because your adventures with the wildchild has taught us so much. You have become a one-woman referral system for any one who has ever had an Oops moment and a testament to phrase the race not given to the swift nor the battle to the strong but to the one who endures until the end. </p>

<p>I happy that Blossom reminds us to love the kids that we have and not the ones we wish we had. Yes I do keep in mind that some us have marigolds that thrive in any condition and some of have hot house flowers that need extra care. It does not make one or the other better, just different.</p>

<p>The biggest injustice IMHO is if Carolyn does not one day hang out her shingle and become a full time college counselor. We promise to make everyone rid their house of cheerios :)</p>

<p>I am grateful for sinners alley, because it is a place where we can truly get away from it all, </p>

<p>And who ever forgets sluggbugg, her slugghuggs and adventures with the evilneighbors. We are grateful that while momofthree did ask us for wedding dress advice that she did ignore us when it came to bugles for the reception:)</p>

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<p>Though I was not online and did not moderate the thread from yesterday that was started by Sybbie regarding congratulating Andi and her son on his recent acceptance to WPI, I have since been connected to the moderator discussions and actions. Roger Dooley, the Forum Administrator deleted yesterday's thread. </p>

<p>Let me explain the moderators' and administrator's position. </p>

<p>Andi posted on the proper threads we have set up for this purpose (the big list of acceptances and the merit award ones) and people congratulated her on the other thread we have set up for acceptances discussion/congratulations. Having a separate thread for this one parent/student goes against how we set it up this year to have one thread for a list of acceptances and one for congratulatory type discussions about those acceptances. If you notice, when I set up those two threads and stuck them at the top (along with the subsequent merit award thread), I explained why the Mod Team decided to set it up this way this year. </p>

<p>We surely are not saying we don't want to hear about Andi's son's acceptances and discussions, but simply are wanting those posts and discussions to be put where we have allocated that type of discussion to go. </p>

<p>While the mod team understands the interest garnered by Andi's son's case after their misfortunate outcome last year, we don't wish to single out any one parent/child's acceptance, and have a set up for ths type of discussion already. Even on the general discussion thread, Andi and her son are getting a great deal of attention by the many supportive posters on CC who waited it out with them. We want that to occur, but that's where we want it to go. </p>

<p>We don't wish to make an exception to how we have this set up this year and if we did, we could find plenty of worthy exceptions. We already have it set up for this parent to get plenty of support and congrats on the current threads. Andi followed the posting rules in this case and we would like everyone else to as well and post on the appropriate threads in response to her, like for all the other positive news of other students and their families. We explained this at the start of this admissions season that we are not going to have separate admissions threads for each family. </p>

<p>So, in the case of each acceptance that rolls in, and I do hope there are more for Andison, but for everyone else as well, please post these on the acceptance thread. Everyone should check there to follow the families they have a strong interest in, knowing their stories and journeys. Then, please go ahead and pour on the congrats (don't forget the champagne) and discuss any aspect of the acceptances there. We don't want to single out one case more than another as far as reports of acceptances and congratulations.</p>

<p>However, individual threads about issues or personal situations are indeed appropriate. For instance, last year, there were several ongoing threads about Andi's son...first about his admissions decisions, subsequently about handling his waitlist status, then about cautionary advice for others in formulating a balanced college list, eventually threads on a gap year, lots of support and commisserating and advice along the way, and eventually new plans and great hopes for this year's process. As Andi says, when this journey is complete this spring, she will hopefully share all about it and lessons they've learned and so forth. That sort of thing is appropriate for a thread and welcomed, as are the many other personal stories shared on this forum. </p>

<p>Sybbie, your post a short while ago is beautifully written and I could not agree with you more and I believe it is what many forum regulars also feel. We are interested in each one's journey and the support that is given from the others on the forum is overwhelming. So, Andi should post about their journey, what they've learned, or anything else. But when it comes time for each acceptance to roll in, it needs to go on the acceptance thread like everyone else (thank you Andi for posting it there) and the ensuing congrats and discussion needs to go on the threads we have set up for that purpose. There are many compelling stories on CC and we want to share in them all but as far as each acceptance goes and the congrats for each one, we want those all together. It will become cumbersome to have individual threads on each acceptance and as much as we are all rooting and interested in Andison's outcome and have followed along, we don't wish to single out individual acceptances and congrats on single threads, as we have many worthy ones that could warrant doing so. What we do welcome are individual stories and I think Andi has posted hers at various steps along the way and will hopefully do so again this spring, and we've kept those threads up and will continue to do so. </p>

<p>Please keep all acceptance notifications to the acceptance thread, all discussion and congratulatory messages to the thread for that, and if other sorts of personal questions or discussion come up, individual threads are certainly welcome. As I said, Andi's individual threads in the past were kept here and will be again if she wishes to discuss how her son's situation played out and advice for others or related issues, or even asking for help. </p>

<p>So, please do continue to support one another, share, but keep to the format we have set up for these various purposes. Thank you. </p>

<p>The moderators and forum administrator wish to close this thread in keeping with this format. I have chosen to explain it so that our position is clear, but also to let you know that we are not squashing Andi's posts but want each of these in the right place, as she has chosen to do. Questions about mod actions should be done via emails or PMs to moderators, rather than discussed on the forum. </p>

<p>Best to Andi, her son, and to all the many students and their parents who are receiving some very positive news so far this admissions season.</p>

<p>CollegeMom</p>

<p>Edit: I did not see the last page of posts when I wrote the mod post but I think I speak for other mods in saying we definitely want to hear the rest of Andi's story, like JmMom writes. When she gets to that point this year, we hope she will share about it. For now, each acceptance and congrats needs to go on the right threads but this is NOT instead of discussing the journey/story at various junctures as Andi has done in the past and likely will when her son's letters have all come out.</p>