<p>So often parents or kids talk about fit being the most important thing in selecting a boarding school. Can anyone define fit? Does each school have a different fit? I am curious to know what beyond academics, achievements, and ec's what particular schools look for in a proper fit. They must be different for each school because there are so many different opinions about what fits right. Can it be objectified?</p>
<p>I think fit goes both ways in your question:
- “what [do] particular schools look for in a proper fit?”
- “when parents or kids talk about fit being the most important thing in selecting a boarding school?”
For schools, they need kids who can handle the academic expectations and fill all of the athletic/EC spots.
For students and families, I think the discussion about fit addresses more social/emotional factors.</p>
<p>It’s hard to tell - It’s like finding a mate - you look for similar interests, working styles, enough contrast to make it interesting, etc.</p>
<p>Some schools are rigorous and not hands-on with mentoring, others are rigorous and nurturing. My daughter determined fit by the really paying attention to how teachers interacted, how students seemed when she approached, dorm environments, a lot of things.</p>
<p>Some schools seemed too large, and yet other similarly large schools felt smaller and intimate. We saw one school that felt like a second home, and another that can best be described as Hogwarts in the Harry Potter books. </p>
<p>Which is why visiting is so critical. We got a completely different impression when we visited than from looking at view books. </p>
<p>So fit can’t be quantified because it’s different for each person. And it can’t be defined by looking at which schools any one of us like. </p>
<p>Since the NE schools are close together, we mapped out a route, rented a car, and drove to each over the course of 4 days. It was exhausting, but seeing them close together made it easier for us to make decisions.</p>
<p>Mostly - I watched how the staff reacted to my daughter. One school was kind of “formal” like they were going through the motions with everyone. Another was very formal until we got behind closed doors.</p>
<p>We eventually narrowed it down to schools where there was rigor, but the atmosphere seemed more collegial among the faculty and among the students.</p>
<p>You’ll have a completely different list because you’ll have your own wants, needs and priorities.</p>
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<p>After all this work, the divorce rate is >50%. :D</p>
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<p>They can put up good show for the day of your visit. Some adcoms may be trained actors. :D</p>
<p>Child arrives at the school in September and 2 weeks later states the school is “sick”. Next Spring rolls around and child states the school is still “sick”. As contrary as sick may sound, it’s really wonderful to hear and if the grades match the enthusiasm then you know there’s a fit. Combine the enthusiasm with the grades and the social life, sports, EC’s and dorm life will be “sick” as well. It’s not easy to find that match. Spending an 2-3 hours on campus in the Fall is not going to tell you or your child all they need to know. Utilize the school’s website like you already have a child attending. Read all that the schools have to offer. Talk to alumni and present parents and more importantly parents of past students.</p>
<p>Exie,</p>
<p>Did you child include Deerfield on the list? If so, how did it come across to her, you?</p>
<p>(My comments yesterday were not meant to be offensive, please accept my apologies if you found them so.)</p>
<p>Okay - that’s funny. I’m hoping my “radar” is better than the divorce rate (lol!) because I’m still married and liking the guy!!!</p>
<p>We did not look at Deerfield. We were overwhelmed with the number of choices and so I let my hubby and daughter pick. But I think my personality is very similar to Alexzmom. We talked after the fact about Deerfield and I think, had we put it on the list, we would have loved it for the same reason we liked several others - the warmth we felt when on campus from the faculty and students.</p>
<p>(Leanid) I’m doing back to back school visits and am exhausted so apologize to anyone for what may seem as snippy remarks. Mea Culpa. Going for a spa treatment. Will be much better in a few hours! :-)</p>
<p>Right now fit for my soon-to-be-freshman meant that he saw the website and thought the school was really worth a visit (thought that about several schools); read the viewbook cover to cover, watched the cd and said, “I think that would be a good school for me–I don’t know why, Mom, quit!”; went to the interview, called home and said, “That interview went REALLY well, and I got into a discussion with my guide and he told me I could…”, and he started glowing from the inside on the day he got accepted and hasn’t stopped. </p>
<p>From my perspective, fit meant that nothing about the application process required an inquiry to admissions because all the info. we–as a rather peculiar family–needed was right there; the candidate profile on-line fit my kid to a T; and everything I read just seemed to be him. </p>
<p>Some, but not all of those things were true about the other schools. And…hindsight is 20/20, and maybe I’m revising history. I know I’ve let go of some things–like sports–that I thought initially were important. In fact, this particular school meets hardly any of the initial criteria we had when looking at schools…and yet we looked at it because, well, it just fit. </p>
<p>Ask me in a year though. Everything’s still shiny new right now.</p>
<p>Leanid, i am in total agreement with Exie. The school that her daughter decided on was not on our radar, but looking back it would have been great for my d. The reason we didnt look at it was because it was very similiar to DA and we only had 5 days, 9 school and 8 interviews, we couldnt afford the time off or work or school, we are from chicago.</p>
<p>I believe that fix is ever so personal. We decided to visit and interview before filling out a form. There was 1 school my d knew on the tour that would not work, we took the interview, not to be rude but more so for practice. It seemed like no one like her was on the entire campus. My d said she rather stay home and go to college than to attend. Another campus was overwhelming, my d said “it is like a small university of chicago”, we applied, were accepted but declined that offer.</p>
<p>I think I learned most about fit from my child. I learned on the first tour to ask my basic 5 questions prepared and then just shut up. Let my d do the talking. Watch my d and see where she was drawn in. </p>
<p>As I have said on other threads, I learned so much about my child from this entire process. Yes I guided in the beginning but in the end I let her make the decision on where she was going to spend the next 3 years. All the places we applied would have worked and she would have gone to anyone rather than stay home, so in many ways we were in a no lose situation.</p>
<p>Class–I am with you, April 2011, I cant wait to review my post and see if our “fit” was on the money</p>
<p>All good insights. They are mostly from the perspective of the parent or child though and other than size or location seem to be hard to define emotional responses to a particular school. Siliconvalleymom mentions “what [do] particular schools look for in a proper fit?” and suggests that schools " need kids who can handle the academic expectations and fill all of the athletic/EC spots". I think that most of the applicants can meet the academic expectations of the schools they apply to and some can meet the athletic/ec spots. Is that all they look for? What do you think a school looks for in a kid fitwise other than academics or athletics? Is each school different? I think that it would be extremely helpful for applicants to know what particular schools are looking for in fit.</p>
<p>Yes, they do. All schools have a different personality. Even Exeter and Andover are different - most likely bred by the fact they are rivals and started by brothers. The founder of Andover graduated from Governor’s and yet Andover is also very different from Governor’s.</p>
<p>So after hundreds of years, schools take on a distinct personality and Adcom’s can sense who fits into all of that.</p>
<p>That’s why interviews are helpful for them to see the “true” applicant, and campus tours are helpful for the student.</p>
<p>The reason that I listed the student’s ability to handle the academic demands is that I was surprised to read a few weeks ago in a bulletin from Andover that some percentage of their applicants was deemed academically ready for Andover. I wish I could remember the amount, but it was something like 2/3, implying that 1/3 of the applicants were not viewed as academically ready. This amazed me, knowing the incredible amount of work involved in applying to each school, and the huge amount of information available about each school…I could not believe that hundreds of kids applied who were not able to make that first cut. I’ll try to find the article.</p>
<p>Found it. The article I was thinking of was discussed in a thread about six weeks ago, which linked to the Andover welcome to admitted students from 2009. The article states that 75% of the applicant pool was “academically admissible” (which means that 25% of the applicant pool was not).
I think that’s the first element of fit, both for the student and the school.</p>
<p>Exie, I think that this is what I am trying to get at.
You say “So after hundreds of years, schools take on a distinct personality and Adcom’s can sense who fits into all of that.”
What do you think each school looks for in that personality? Do you think that they have a list of desirable features or does each member of Adcoms have their own feeling as to what candidate would be appropriate for their school?
For instance, what would Exeter be looking for as compared to Hotchkiss or Andover or Governors, or the list goes on?
I know that this is hard to quantify but I think that it would help applicants make a more educated decision about where they think they may fit in. I agree that visits are extremely important from the applicants viewpoint. But what is the magic, indescribable attribute that these different great schools are looking for. Can anyone try to pin it down?</p>
<p>Sorry if I posted this twice.</p>
<p>Anybody who would try to pin that down would end up stereotyping. It’s up to you…you need to do your research: check the websites, look at viewbooks, watch dvds, go on visits, and use your essays to think about who you really are, not who you think the schools want you to be. If you ground yourself in that and what your ideal school would look like–not what your parents’ or best friend’s ideal school looks like–you’ll begin to get a sense of what fit means for you.</p>
<p>That Andover article is fascinating. I’d love to know what they really meant by that. The school is pretty hard so there is not coasting and no “social promotion to the next grade” going on there. That just has me scratching my head. 25% is like 250-300 kids.</p>
<p>As for what each specific school looks for - it’s a gut thing, I think. Elusive. Which is why I equate it to a mating dance. Who knows why one cute guy (with all the right stats) doesn’t click on a date, but another one does.</p>
<p>My gut feel is Exeter is more numbers and status driven, Andover is numbers driven but makes more allowances for qualitative stats. Somehow, Andover seems a hair more relaxed than Exeter but continues to rate pretty high on its stats so I think it takes more risk with its applicant pool but may reap more rewards.</p>
<p>If it’s ELUSIVE, how are we going to find it?</p>
<p>You are going to feel it, not find it. After lots of research and a visit.</p>
<p>I think that revisit days are really important for this type of thing. I think you definitely look for things you like about the school, but I also think you just get a feeling. Like “This is where I should be, this is where I am supposed to be.” Sometimes you get that feel even before you visit the school.</p>
<p>Just a correction: Andover and Exeter were not founded by “brothers.” Exeter’s founder was the uncle to Andover’s founder.<br>
<<john phillips=“” was=“” also=“” the=“” uncle=“” of=“” samuel=“” phillips,=“” jr.,=“” who=“” had=“” founded=“” academy=“” in=“” andover,=“” massachusetts,=“” 1778=“”>> Exeter was founded in 1781.</john></p>