Two of the dentists in my local dental practice attended state universities and then went to Tufts Dental School. They are excellent dentists, seem to have no regrets, and enjoyed their time at the state U.
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With 1400+ SAT and high grades, there will be lots of options in the 50-100 range. If heâs in leadership, SMU and Baylor top scholarships are in range. What about Trinity? Itâs academically prestigious and maybe a good âdonât like UTâ fit. Rhodes?
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Indian-American? Thereâs definitely more pressure in the Asian community.
The pressure is real. Even my sonâs SAT tutor tried to make us feel guilty.
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We were in a similar financial position, although our D has sights on med school. We discussed our thoughts on depleting the 529 on undergrad vs preserving it for med school but left that decision up to her. She decided to keep it for med school/grad school/first home downpayment/whatever, but she also really hoped to go out of state and preferred an LAC (although was flexible about this).
She attended a private school with excellent college counselors. We met with her counselor as a family to discuss application strategy and decided to apply in state (residents get free tuition), less selective LACs out of state known for attracting strong students with merit, and selective colleges with competitive merit (obviously no Ivies; her most selective were Duke, Vandy, etc.). She knew up front that she would not attend a private at full price if she did not get merit.
She has many friends attending Ivies, NESCACs, Ivy+ at full price. Neither she nor our family feel we need to justify our personal financial decisions. It is a gift that she will have the ability to complete med school with no debt. I am proud that she realized that and made that decision on her own. Her efforts paid off and she is at a SLAC she loves. But she would have been happy to attend GaTech, if that was her best option, and like UT-A thatâs not such a bad state school (said with humor).
ETA: She always liked to say her doctor only has a med school diploma on the wall so who cares about undergrad?! Haha
Feel free to message me if you would like her stats and merit results if that would be of help.
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We have a friend whose kid accepted what amounts to a full ride from Utah. She could have gone to a school with more a lot prestige, but sheâs interested in medical school and coming out of undergrad debt-free is just too good a deal to pass up. Plus, she feels very good and proud about all the stuff they threw at her to get her to go there.
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UT is always the great option but he probably wonât like A&M if he doesnât like UT unless heâs conservative. A friendâs kid is at UTD and thriving with a PT job. If heâs not into Greek, I think heâd thrive at the liberal arts schools and they may hit the prestige factor.
One daughter was the top student in her high school and got very similar pressure from her high school class mates. We live in the northeast of the US but could not afford the âbig nameâ LACs in this area (Bowdoin, Wellesley, âŠ), so she attended a very good small university in eastern Canada. She was getting âwhereâ and âwhyâ from her high school class mates. Then she arrived on campus in Canada and was getting âgreat universityâ from everyone, and discovered that the professors were great, the classes were challenging, and the research and internship opportunities were excellent.
The âprestigeâ of the university that a student attends mostly matters to high school seniors, and to some extent management consultants and investment bankers. A high school senior can easily see the difference between a ranking of 10 versus 50. The same high school senior cannot see the very similar range of professors and classes and research and internship opportunities that both of these schools offer.
Once your son arrives at any top 100 (or even 200) college or university he is going to find great opportunities and a lot of people who think that they are attending a very good school (and who are correct).
Both my wife and I got our masterâs degrees at highly ranked universities. We found that the other students in the same programs came from a very, very wide range of universities. My wife got her bachelorâs at an affordable university near home that was NOT in the âtop 100â in the US, then got her masterâs at an Ivy League university. My oldest daughter got her bachelorâs at a university that is NOT in the top 100 in the US, and is currently studying for a DVM in a âtop 5 in the worldâ DVM program.
I do not think that admissions to dental school requires attending a âtop 20â university for your bachelorâs degree any more than admissions to a DVM program requires it. You do not need to shell out the big bucks for a âtop 20â undergraduate education. I think that you would be far better off saving money for dental school.
Plenty of dentists are paying off their education debt for a very long time. Debt is a good thing to minimize or avoid as much as you can.
It is a pity that you son did not like UT-Austin. It is a great university. My understanding is that there are some other very good universities in Texas but I do not know Texas much (we live far to the north and east of you).
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17 and 18 year olds are not known for making great $200k decisions. Itâs not their money, so of course they are willing for your son to spend your money. My daughter got a lot of flack from my family about not picking a top school and instead following the money. For her (and me) it wasnât a hard decision because she didnât like the top school and I didnât have the money. Family was telling her to take the loans, donât worry about the money, go with the big name.
Sheâs very happy she graduated without debt. Sheâs almost 4 years out of college and ready to buy a house and on her way to Hawaii next week, living the good life.
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For dentistry, debt free. But what if he does not like predentistry?
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Adding to my previous post⊠I just reread the OP and had missed that he hated UT-A. When I commented on UT-A being a good in state option in my previous post, I was not suggesting he should apply to a school he hates just because it is at an in state price tag. His safeties/matches should also be schools he would be happy attending. Apologies if my earlier comment did not make that clear.
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No, this is false. I would argue that asking a 22 year old to take out $200k worth of loans for dental school might deserve judgment. Raising a great kid who can get scholarships and not have to go into debt? That sounds like great parenting to me.
Iâd love to know who you think will judge you. If they do, they arenât worth your time, are they?
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A north TX friend says, âI would get my son to go to UT Austin or tell him you pay half the tuition. Austin is a great school.â This is the real pressure.
I suppose he doesnât think much about schools or give much insight into why he doesnât like UT or what heâs looking for (i.e., large/small, urban/suburban, Greek/non). Is he passionate about dentistry?
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Indeed, if choice of college is the first time that a kid has ever had to make a choice constrained by money limitations, wouldnât that lack of experience be more likely to result in poor decision making, and/or conflict with parents who try to prevent a poor choice?
Of course, people wanting to spend other peopleâs money is another form of social pressure. But wouldnât the response be to tell them to put their money where their mouth is?
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âEveryoneâ and âSomebodyâ are notorious for giving hyperbolic, uniformed advice. I am glad you realize what a ridiculous statement that is.
I wish you the best in finding a good fit for your son, whether that be at either of the two outstanding Texas flagship universities or somewhere else.
Iâm glad your friends are guiding your life - not. Listen, this is a personal question - but rankings - and there are zillions of them but US News is what most look at - are that - rankings.
So he wants to be a dentist - and that could change. My dentist went to Arkansas and I only know because itâs on his wall. But do you know where yours went?
Rankings are a ploy to make money - thatâs what they are. They sell magazines, data, their online toolâŠas do others.
The schools themselves are different and will provide different experiences. And then there are different lists - national, regional both universities and colleges, and LACs.
Do you even know what he will study - being a dentist means likely STEM but there is different STEM.
Itâs up to you on the money. My son turned down Purdue engineering for Alabama. Itâs saving me $70 or $80K. Iâd have sent him to Purdue no problem - but I have to tell you, having the extra dollars in the pocket is nice - think of how much stress one would have.
My daughter goes to the 16th highest rated school she got into of 17 - her choice. I have free tuition. I let her choose between 5 schools - up to $45K a year. I eliminated the 12 over - because I didnât see value. Sheâs costing me $15K a year.
So lots of people save for, take loans and act like spending $80K a year so they can have a name is - smart. And maybe for them it is.
But think about the stress these people must be under - loans, even if savings and everything else.
You saved well - but you donât have to spend it all. There are valedictorians and salutatorians and Ivy league types at probably every flagship in the country.
Your family should make the right decision for the family, not your friends.
I have a huge problem now. I saved way too much in the 529 Plan.
For parental stress levels - seems a nice problem to have.
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My daughterâs teachers and guidance counselor keep telling her to apply to UT also but we toured and didnât like it either. We were expecting to like it. It was very underwhelming. There were numerous things we didnât like about it. I understand. I feel a slight twinge of guilt at not send our high achiever daughter to a more âprestigiousâ school. But fortunately she is happy with the schools she applied to and says she can see herself at any of them. We live in Texas too. She applied at Arizona State, TAMU, UTD, and SMU. She knows SMU is only happening if she happens to land one of the few full tuition scholarships. We only fairly recently paid off my own student loans from grad school. We do fine and donât qualify for any need based aid/scholarships but we have our retirement to think about and we donât want our daughter racking up student loans and we donât want to use our savings that we plan to use for our retirement (in addition to our 401K etc) . We didnât save specifically for college, just in general. But we donât want to use it for college if we donât have to and we donât have to.
I find my own values for inclusiveness align more with the less presitious schools and frankly I cringe a bit at the SMU option. I prefer schools like ASU who state in their charter âASU is a comprehensive public research university, measured not by whom it excludes, but by whom it includes and how they succeed; advancing research and discovery of public value ; and assuming fundamental responsibility for the economic, social, cultural and overall health of the communities it serves.â I went to ASU for undergrad. So did my husband. 
We both graduated debt free, although I did take out loans later for grad school. Our parents didnât pay and we didnât get scholarships. We did have to work while in school. (Which our daughter wonât have to do.) We will pay whatever her scholarships donât cover- at a reasonably priced school.
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The mindset of the OPâs post epitomizes the worst aspects of getting into top colleges today. Or any college, full stop.
I know someone who works for a world expert in their field. The workplace is associated with a famous university. This expert got a terminal degree at a uni that doesnât get a lot of attention on CC. They are respected, successful, and presumably, living a good life. Thereâs nothing unique about this person.
The same story plays out with so many people who went to colleges that arenât HYPSM or WASP. Itâs what a person does with their education that matters, not where they attended college.
As far as paying for dental school, if he ends up not going you can always gift him that money so he can buy a house or something. I think saddling a kid with huge debt is best avoided.
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It is hard to make an atypical choice, against the tide of peer pressure. It is even harder to discuss it with people who believe there is only one true path and deviation signals rejection of the choices they themselves have made. Especially when prestige is involved. And when people are spending insane amounts of money they donât have.
In my experience, the best way to navigate those discussions is to frame it as âthis is what is right for our situation which is different than yours, and this is whyâ. No reason to challenge the status quo - it just means people will come at you from a place of defensiveness (they have to justify why they are ok with spending the money if you donât feel people have to). A confident âWe are in a different situation. my kid is set on dental school, which according to the research we have done means being top of his class and money to pay for dental school are essential. We are looking for the best way to set him up for success for dental schoolâ. That doesnât challenge the decisions they have made for their own families. They probably have no idea how to position a person for dental school, and dental school isnât part of the normal âprestige â calculation. If they still canât let it go, so be it. They will come around, especially when your kid is successful. Confidence in your decision and not challenging theirs is the key.
As far as UT goes - âkiddo really doesnât like itâ seems hard to argue with.
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You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution.
I have 3 kids. I refuse to serve one kid filet mignon while the other kids have to eat peanut butter sandwiches because I couldnât afford anymore steaks.
If people comment on cost of undergrad or where he goes for undergrad, the response is âMy child is considering dental school which is expensive. I love my child enough to not allow them to put themselves into hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt for a job.â
There are many things to consider when choosing a college. But if your child finds a great fit for them and it costs less, nobody should make you feel guilty or inferior for that. Anyone who negatively comments on your childs choice of school is a shallow person with questionable morals in my opinion.
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Iâm trying to imagine someone thinking âWell, heâs got a great reputation as a dentist, and he got his DDS from Harvard, but I need to find someone who got his BS from somewhere more prestigious than UT-Austin.â
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