That is making huge assumptions about black church ladies who dress up and their demographics.
I wouldnât recommend anyone buy a tuxedo for college before getting there, even those planning to go to Harvard, unless it is super-cheap. A dark sport coat will do just fine. The exception would be if one already knows they need one for a musical group they are going to be part of.
Google internet image searches can be a useful resource for figuring out what students on a given campus wear. One can google image search âHarvard students,â or âHarvard house formalsâ or something like that to get an idea of what students are wearing. (Although granted, you have to check from where the image comes from to confirm it is depicting what you think it is depicting).
I donât think Iâd think if searching for âHarvard house formalsâ if I wasnât a CC reader. (Not that my kid goes to Harvard!)
^That is a good point. I google searched Harvard formal (without the âhouseâ), and a picture of some attendees at Cabotâs formal came up, showing a couple of guys wearing tuxes, and couple wearing dark coats and ties, and a couple wearing dark coats with no ties.
As I had a D going there, I canât speak to how men feel about wearing a tux or not at Harvard, but the word âformalâ among our kids generation seems to be a loose term for a dressy party. My Ds never wore long gowns to their college âformals,â and I donât recall any pictures of their friends doing so.
@oldmom4896 Yes, it is with a doubt. Borders on atypical stereotypesânot surprised, as pretty much everything is putative from this person.
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This discussion reminds me of the Dâs comments while in HS. She mentioned that one girl never ever wore the same piece of clothing twice. Her parents were very rich and so were most of Dâs classmates. Did it make my D. feel inferior, did she send me to buy bags of clothes for her so she can wear them only once? She could have tried, but knowing me, she did not. Smart 15 y o!! I would not do it even if I could afford. She was at this private school primarily because great part of her tuition was covered by Merit scholarship based on the placement test. This HS was a great fit for her, clothing was never considered part of this fit.
I continue to be surprised by the people who seem to think that everyone in a certain group is going to share the exact same experiences. What kind of hubris is that? Maybe you could elucidate how rubbing elbows with a billionaireâs granddaughter qualifies you to determine everything they might or might not have experienced. Baffles me.
Itâs typified by this remark of yours; âKids donât attend charity events.â
They absolutely do, at least the ones who are active and involved do. I attended all kinds of charity events starting in college, and most of them were black tie. Award functions of the highest order also tend to come in formal versions. The notion that itâs odd to own a tux is, itself, laughable. I see it promulgated by those who donât participate in much. Being prepared can get you all kinds of invites that you wouldnât otherwise have.
Here is an example;
Girl: My motherâs company is having a formal event this weekend.
Me: I have a tux.
GIrl: You do?
Me: (smiling) Yes.
Girl: (smiling) Do youâŠwant toâŠtake me?
Me: Yes.
Thereâs a party you wouldnât have gone to otherwise. I saw numerous examples of situations in which men who didnât have formal wear avoided attending something as did women who âdidnât have anything to wearâ. And, I canât count the number of times Iâve heard people say they either didnât want to rent a tux or couldnât get something appropriate to wear in the way of an excuse as to why they didnât go. Having it in your closet avoids that.
The white coat ceremony must have been such a relief . . . never to have to worry about what to wear to fit in. 8-|
Oh please. I remember when âdress formalâ for dinner on a cruise meant long dress for women and a tux. NowâŠno shorts, no sandals, and no sleeveless t shirts. Anything else goesâŠfor menâŠanything from slacks and a shirt with a collar to a full formal tux. For women, slacks and shirt, sundressâŠall the way up to beaded formal gowns.
Miami DAP- please show me where I am stopping you from stating your experiences.
I do not agree that other posters are whining. And I have a right to say that.
My impression nowadays (not referring to college specifically), is that most men do NOT want to have to wear a tux, let alone a tie to events any more. They would likely be relieved they can use the excuse that they donât own a tux to get out of wearing one. Here in CA, charity events and weddings are rarely officially âformalâ or âblack tie,â because the hosts know that some men wonât come at all if that is required.
There are some valid points in this discussion. For example, cafeteria and dorms closing during breaks and leaving poor kids âon the streetâ. Another example - extra money required for some books that are not covered by tuition. I agree, such things have to be addressed by college admins.
Club for first-gen college students is a good idea. Why not?
On the other hand - âsocial lifeâ. Common. A young, pretty, funny girl, is welcomed. Even if she canât afford an expansive formal dress. 
BTW, Ross sells many dresses. BTW, you can buy a dress at Ross and return it next day after the party. Yes, I know that this is wrong ⊠but I used to do it.
If Ross is not on your list, Forever 21 and Wet Seal have dresses within $30 budget. However, Ross is the easiest shop for a ânext day returnâ.
The word âinexcusableâ is too hard. It is common for students to shop at Goodwill and Thrift shops in upscale communities. Actually, you can find fabulous things in such shops, like dinner ware, art, designer clothes. I used to decorate my dorm room through Goodwill. It looked great!
^^ you DID realize that blossom was being sarcastic in that post, right?
Another good resource - if you have a car, drive through an upscale area during garbage pick up day. I acquired all my furniture in this way. I still keep a side table from solid redwood that picked up on garbage day from Atherton.
I think mentoring is a terrible idea. Very patronizing. What is the value of diversity? To show different perspectives! If we take kids from different walks of life and mentor them to the same ânormsâ, why do we need diversity in the first place?
Imagine, employing a good cook from China and mentoring him in making American hamburgers. Why? Youâll end up with an unhappy Chinese cook and a bad hamburger.
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Mentoring does not mean forced conversion to the local norms. A mentor is someone who can provide advice or point the student to resources they might not know about. If I had a son headed to Harvard, that mentor might be the one pointing out the usefulness of a cheap tuxedo or tuxedo rental spot. Or that the student resource center has free tutoring, or that there are inexpensive hostels for times when dorms shut down but thereâs no money to get homeâŠ
The mere notion that Oberlin would have had a Spring formalâŠespecially when I attended in the mid-late '90s is ROTFLOL-worthy. Ahahahahahahaha!!
I believe the last time Oberlin ever had something like that was sometime in the 1950s or early '60s right before the hippie/counterculture/anti-Vietnam War protests made Oberlin more like what it was when I attended or to a lesser extent, nowadays.
Any student who proposed such an idea with its formal dress requirements during my time there would either be dismissed as someone who is unusually happy and isolated in the âCon bubbleâ or a âbourgeois capitalist toolâ.
Only times Iâve seen students wear any formal wearâŠespecially tuxes other than Con students needing them for recitals/performances is to wear them as a form of mockery against the establishment in campus protests or fun irreverent fun events like Halloween or Drag Ball*.
Any student who proposed such an idea with its formal dress requirements would either be dismissed as someone who is unusually happy and isolated in the âCon bubbleâ or a âbourgeois capitalist toolâ.
- At the Drag ball, it'd be women who'd be wearing tuxes or other forms of male associated clothing whereas their male counterparts would be wearing dresses or other forms of female associated clothing. That is...unless they decide to just observe without participating or more interestingly, go 100% au naturale.
So what do guests wear to a medical school graduation?