We did, but after the second time no one wanted to eat with them. 
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How odd that they weren’t aware that their dinners were many times the cost of the others in the group. Or maybe they were, didn’t care and thought that others would be ok with splitting the bill.
I guess that’s the issue when it’s a group you don’t know well. There’s the possibility that there is a very unaware (or uncaring) person in the group. But that’s a separate issue.
I would have opted to not want to dine with that couple either.
We went out with three other couples pre-Covid, it was just naturally done as separate checks. I could see mine plus one on each side of me, ours was something like $70, each other couple was over $200. I am frugal, I hate when the pricey person/couple/family makes me the bad guy for wanting to pay for what I order. I tend to eat lighter in the evening and order small portions & don’t want to pay for your fancy meal. I got burned 30+ years ago, just me out with my best friend and her family. They were doing quite well overall, though maybe in a tighter time financially then, we were in very tight straights and she knew it. She always wanted to go out and always wanted to divide by the number of adults, so I am supposed to take my side salad and water and then pay 1/3…she had 5 kids out with us. I became comfortable being the bad buy who brought up the disparity in totals.
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That’s very presumptuous to expect folks to be happy to subsidize your $150 Truffle habit. I can see why no one wanted to dine with them. I’m flexible but with folks I don’t know we’ll, I’d prefer separate checks. I’ve had us both give CCards and have them each charged with 1/2 the bill before. That works fine too.
We often do separate checks, and if there is a bottle of wine one of the husbands will volunteer to put on their check. But also pretty common to ask the server to just split it two (or three) ways.
On a Europe trip of 3 couples, the husband just rotated paying for dinner. Same with taxis. The receipts were put in a group ziplock at the end of the day. (Hubby put into spreadsheet when he had laptop out for photo stuff, but he could have waited til home). At the end of two weeks, there was only a small amount (less than $50) to even things up. Made us laugh, and I can’t recall if any they even bothered to exchange funds.
I have Venmo now. So far have not used it. But perhaps our son will get his 30th birthday gift that way in.a few weeks, since he commented he might have liked me to have Venmo a bit earlier since he did an online gift Visa card for us at Christmas. (Gift was local cheese making class, but he did not want to commit us to specific day. Also there was option for doing more online classes with same funds).
I would also say that if I am out with a group of women and one person orders a much less expensive item (no wine, just a cheap app or just coffee) we will just absorb the cost or have them thrown in a nominal amount and split the rest of the bill. To me, there is a difference in splitting the bill evenly (the norm around here) when everyone is in the same ballpark, and having someone who ordered very little to have to pay the same amount.
I agree that the kids do it differently. They may all throw in a card, but may say put 20% on card ending xxxx and 40% on another card. Never thought of that.
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Servers never ask here.
Servers here never ask if you want separate checks, but are perfectly happy to split the check over multiple credit cards. I have a group of women (we all worked together for 20 plus years) that I go out with pretty regularly and one of the woman in the group does not drink alcohol. She always insists that we just split the check, but over the years we have always told her to put in less than the rest of us that enjoy a glass of wine or a cocktail.
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I always get asked how we want the check. If it’s more than 2 checks, I would just pay and have everyone Venmo me their amount plus tip. I would never expect for someone to pay more than the amount they ordered. I have some friends who say at the beginning that they are getting separate checks so the server knows. I’m in NC, but most people I know are not from NC- they are from all over the country.
What I do notice, is that it is always the men who get handed the checks! Even after the credit card that has a woman’s name on it gets given to the server.
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What general area? In my upper middle class area in a suburb of Chicago anything other than splitting evenly would be considered very odd. Separate checks are a no-no with severs.
I’m wondering how much is regional….how much is big city vs more rural…how much is income demographic based. It would be intersting for everyone to post that info.
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Separate checks are common in the Portland, Maine area which is pretty well-to-do.
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So perhaps leans to more regional then. I personally find these threads fascinating and it should tell the OP that “ it depends” on where you are and what group you are with.
In many cases, we simply just split the bill.
On my usual Tuesday night hang out, we just alternate buying rounds.
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Honestly, let’s be real…it’s likely both.
Regionally, sure probably…unless you’re at a very high end restaurant - because if you’re there chances are splitting isn’t an issue with your budget. And servers probably are aware of that.
Income based? Well, of COURSE. If you don’t have the budget to cover your friends special drinks or multi course meal, you aren’t going to be a fan of splitting!
Lol, the CC world.
I’m in the Midwest, urban Ohio city with suburb dining options. We don’t choose high end restaurants. We choose local pubs, ethnic eateries. We are always asked if in a group, if we need separate checks. Or they may phrase it “all on one bill?”.
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This is why I think it’s regional, those are the types of restaurants we go to mostly, and the only time I’ve ever heard this question asked is when we are away from home.
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But most likely regionally, there are high end restaurants in some shape or form or quantity. So maybe at high end restaurants in MY town the servers don’t ask and the patrons do split evenly.
Myself, I can’t comment on the high end aspect except to say, if you have the $ resources you are more likely to be willing to split than those who don’t or are more careful.
I find it most combiner to just give the server my CC and have good friend(s) give theirs and have it be evently divided up. That seems to work well, or separate checks, whichever they prefer.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you and your friends sat down at my local Applebees, the server most likely wouldn’t ask about separate checks, would just give your one.
At a local, large brewpub (Avery) the servers enter order info into electronic device by chair#. At the end, they ask which chairs get combined for billing. (Switching seats is discouraged.). It’s easy to say, “put this round on me” along the way. Payment is at table, just insert card and select tip% on touch screen. I suspect to see this method more and more.
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Well…I don’t have venmo and I have no intention of getting Venmo. When I go out to eat, I carry cash and a credit card. Hoping you would take my cash.
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