<p>Around April 1, some people expect the angst to move from the waiting to the choosing. Hopefully, this phase of the process will be more fun!</p>
<p>We’ll need to make sure S makes a reasoned choice. He’s not one to dally with his decision making about anything. Given a choice of different window shades for his bedroom, he was perfectly happy to go with dark wood slat blinds and could have cared less to spend even 10 minutes at looking through other choices available in the sample books.</p>
<p>Speaking of choosing, I’m curious whether those of you who have been through this before have noted any tendency to favor the school you get the first “yes” from. I know in my own nature there’s a strong tendency to like anybody who likes me (a fact responsible for a few ill-fated high school relationships). From what I know of my son, I suspect that there’s a bit of this tendency in him too, so I’m preparing to hear that the school he gets that first big envelope from is the place he has always dreamed of attending, even if ten minutes before the envelope arrived it was near the bottom of the list.</p>
<p>Thank you Nightchef and Findaplace!</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the “administrative assistant” type of parenting or the “in the bus in the rain” type of parenting as long as those types of decisions are made based on the needs of the child. I’m a different type of mother to my oldest than to my youngest because they are (in my mother’s words) like “chalk and cheese :)” Equal but different.</p>
<p>I’ve opened up AP scores for my D at her request when she was away for three weeks. I’ve texted my D to let her know that something came for her in the mail when I knew she would be at school or work late. I also never saw any of the final essays that she sent with any of her applications, because I was only involved in that process when she needed a credit card. </p>
<p>My DH would be devastated if we didn’t help our girls move in their dorms…and I don’t think they’d want us to stay away for that. Of course, D1 will still be 17 when she moves in her dorm…</p>
<p>As for what to expect April 1st, I’ve already told D to expect at least a waitlist at her highest ranked school, if only because of the acceptance rate. I’m not a “here’s a trophy, you’re always so wonderful” kind of mom (I love my kids & all, but I’m not a praise for everything kind of girl; I’m originally from Jersey!) I see a lot of kids in our area who are praised for everything and disappointment is kept at bay (I call them hothouse flowers.) I’ve always tried to be realistic with my kids and since she already has acceptances in hand any rejection should be taken well. Guess we’ll see…</p>
<p>LOL about holding the envelopes up to the light. I do that too.</p>
<p>Some envelopes just scream acceptance. There’s no way around that except to leave them in the mailbox.</p>
<p>We call them “Happy Howlers” around here because their intent is so clear.</p>
<p>That’s a great idea, zoosermom. After I get the mail, I will put any screaming acceptance letters back in the mailbox for my son to discover.</p>
<p>But you already know, right?</p>
<p>But I will pretend not to, so that he can be the first one to “know.” Time to practice happy surprise face.</p>
<p>RobD - "I’m originally from Jersey!) I see a lot of kids in our area who are praised for everything and disappointment is kept at bay (I call them hothouse flowers.) "</p>
<p>My mother always called those children “hothouse tomatoes”–thought you’d appreciate that being from Jersey. Realistic expectations are always best (as are Jersey tomatoes!).</p>
<p>
Will he really believe you or are you both just doing a little dance?</p>
<p>Thought I should add to the “dark of night and all alone” story – the (big) kid drug his stuff across campus. Security supposedly was coming to let him in the dorm – but he banged on the door and another student came thundering down the steps to let him in – another early (and lonely) arrival. The two quickly became pals. </p>
<p>I just got off the phone with a lady who is a decade ahead of me. She was talking about how hard it is to have your kids get married – because suddenly there isn’t just your family way of doing things. All of a sudden “your” family has some entirely different patterns and it is time to step on your own lips hard. </p>
<p>Perhaps the college acceptance time is a chance to practice . . .</p>
<p>I only have access to my e-mail account and what she asks to send to me to help her review (high school, college apps, dance, etc.). Regular/postal mail is her responsibility. One thing dance has somewhat prepared her for is the reality of disappointment. This is her senior and final year with her competitive company and the first year she made all the dances for which she auditioned. Come April 1st, I know there is probably going to be some disappointment but she will deal with it. Plus, she leaves on April 2nd for an 8 day cruise. I am sure that will help her get over any disappointment.</p>
<p>Here’s to the waiting game.</p>
<p>I get our mail every day, so I"ll be the first to see everything…</p>
<p>I’ll also see if finances are doable before sharing with kids at my HS/parents. If the finaid package sucks, I’ll just tell my parents I got rejected…no use pretending like I can go…</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes. </p>
<p>After all the trauma of the application/decision season, it’s understandable that you think that once that’s behind you, there is nothing else to be wondered about or discussed. But after the euphoria wears off, you’ll soon be thinking about such burning questions as: What’s an appropriate grad gift for his girlfriend? Should he go on the pre-orientation wilderness trip? Which dorm should he apply for, and how should it be furnished? What’s the best way to get all of his junk to the college? Should he get the student health insurance? Which meal plan?</p>
<p>Once school starts, there will be plenty more to entertain you here: His roommate is driving him crazy (or – he and his roommate have so much fun, they’re neglecting their studies). How often should he go to professors’ office hours? How can I help him through his first away-from-home illness? What’s the best way to send care packages; how often; what should they contain? Should he have an allowance and if so, how much? Why doesn’t he ever call home ( or – why does he call home so often)?</p>
<p>The fun never ends. :D</p>
<p>I will definitely take my daughter to college and she’s no hothouse flower. I’m a single working parent and she’s had to negotiate a lot of her life herself. Some of us can only be around for the really big things, and I have been stashing money so we can enjoy a last hurrah together before she takes off! My daughter also gets to the mail first, so I don’t have the option of peeking, although I believe it would hard to resist! And Rocketlouise, please let your parents know where you got in, even if the financial aid isn’t adequate. My daughter has gone to privates school her whole life and I know these packages are negotiable. Granted, I don’t have any experience with college, but I’ve heard this is true at the college level also. Good luck to you; my daughter is applying to Smith also.</p>
<p>LasMa, your post made me chuckle. I read this thread this morning and wasn’t sure why I was reading it, because I certainly don’t want to relive that college admissions year! My latest question about my sophomore son has been: Why does he cook so much? Shouldn’t he be studying?</p>
<p>It sounds like everyone on this thread is moving through this experience in just the right way–each person according to his/her own family style. In retrospect, I believe it’s a memorable opportunity to share this major passage with your child–the good news and the not-so-good news. You’ll find that the college years are a time to work out your new relationship with your adult child–and it can be a joy. Once I realized that, and got past the sadness of his leaving, I understood that whole new doors were opening. It’s been good. I wish you all a sane March and April!</p>
<p>S is very nervous now. Three schools requested additional financial info. He is finally feeling some pressure. I am the one who is calm now, after he drove me nuts in Dec.
So on April 1, we are going to have a party. I hope he is not wait listed, so he can deal solely with the acceptances.
Remember to tell your kids, to notify the colleges as soon as possible that they are not attending.</p>
<p>If you are going to have a party, would you consider picking a theme now? As in </p>
<p>“No one died!”
“Hey, We survived College Apps!”
“Party Hearty for Haiti (collect loose change)”</p>
<p>No kidding. There will be some kids in the crowd who are glowing and some who will be crestfallen. If you have a goofball theme, then everyone feels welcome and part of the community.</p>
<p>“No one died!” will be the perfect theme for me Olymom.
S is among a few people who is waiting for April 1. Most of his friends applied ED, and got accepted.</p>