What To Do Better This time? (explicit)

So comes the time where I definitely need to be looking at places to apply for grad school. It is currently my junior year of college. I want to right all the wrongs I did in high school so that my college search isn’t full of… mishaps this time.

Back in high school, I took the SAT the fall semester of my junior year. And it was a terrible fail. A couple of things happened that were a disaster. The morning of the test, I had a very cheese-heavy breakfast and still didn’t know that I was lactose intolerant. I also had a major case of nerves (which today, I’ve gotten a diagnosis for a legitimate panic disorder). When I got to the testing center, ten minutes before the exam room closed to start, I had a major case of diarrhea. Because of the close proximity to starting and the possibility that I could get locked out, I didn’t “clean up” afterwards, so I immediately ran to the check-in station.

Throughout the test, my concentration was shot. I kept freaking out, looking around the room, thinking that I was going to make the whole room smell really bad. I kept imagining (I hope) the smell just filling the room and making things uncomfortable for other testers. The exam proctor also singled me out throughout the exam, constantly coming over to my desk, standing to my right, and looking directly down at my exam. And he’d stand there for five minutes, and I’d look up at him and he wouldn’t say anything. This happened each math section. I was basically skipping most questions on the reading section because I couldn’t concentrate.

So I thought I did alright. When I got scores back, I got a 1540. I thought that was pretty good because my sister told me that the max score possible was a 1600. Well, of course, when she was a senior, it was. But when I took it, they’d long since moved to the 2400 model. My sister also was confusing the SAT with the ACT because she told me to mark C on the rest of the questions I didn’t finish. That’s where a lot of my points went too. So then I realized that my score was bad for an AP student. I never took the exam again until spring semester of my senior year.

That time wasn’t any better. I had an all-new calculator from TI, the TI-nspire, and the exam proctor had never seen it before and thought it wasn’t approved. So obviously he thought I was an idiot. Rather than privately and quietly discuss with me that he couldn’t allow me to use the calculator, he purposefully tried to belittle me in front of everyone in the testing room by yelling at me as loud as he could, saying “Did you even READ the directions for the SAT before you came here? Are you that stupid?” Not only was he incredibly rude about it, I was scared and heavily panicking at this point. All eyes in the testing room were on me and I was trying to tell him that my calculator was, in fact, approved and that he needed to check his list of approved calculators. He just continued to yell at me after that and I was just so frightened and scared, I didn’t know what to do. He then took up my calculator and I didn’t get to use it on the test. For the remainder of the morning, I absolutely could not concentrate during the exam at all. In between breaks, people were just giving me these disgusting looks and whispering in the background, “hah, that cheater got caught!” For the duration of the entire test, I was just sick to my stomach from how embarrassed I was. After the exam, I complained to collegeboard and weeks later, they ruled that I was right and the exam proctor was wrong. And they gave me two options: cancel my scores or release my scores. I didn’t know what to do at that point: fall semester was quickly approaching and I wasn’t any closer to getting any freshmen merit-aid scholarships. If I canceled my scores, I would not be able to take another SAT until October that year, thus forcing me to take a gap year after high school. So I took a risk and decided to release my scores to see what they potentially were. It was a 1620. So not exactly any better.

Anyways, I’m looking to avoid those situations again with the GRE. Obviously eat a better breakfast, but what else could be done better? Both my test situations, I ran into issues that I believe affected my performance, one not in my direct control. I do qualify for testing accommodations through my university, but because I didn’t use/have accommodations in high school, are they (ETS) likely to deny me testing accommodations because they feel like I won’t need them? I’ve read here on CC that ETS will deny things accommodations because they don’t agree with the plan the student uses in school. Because of the major panic from these events, should I use accommodations just-in-case? Just-in-case the GRE proves no different than the SAT in terms of proctoring staff manners and such.

Thanks for any replies.

I was disappointed this thread is only about the GRE, and not actually about grad school. The GRE is such a small part of admissions anyway.

There are plenty of other threads of the kind you want, or you can start your own!

As someone who was a HORRIBLE test taker due to high anxiety and got bad panic attacks all the time… I can relate.

  1. In my experience, the GRE testing environment was a lot more professional than the SAT. Most of the tests I have taken were at an exam proctoring center on a computer. They sat me in little cubes, isolated from other students anyway. Also, I almost always got a snazzy pair of headphones to wear to help reduce ambient noise around me.
  2. This is not just for the GRE, but any test you will take in the future: As difficult as it may be, you need to ignore the wise-ass comments by any proctors you get from the exam. Same goes for any student. They do not care about you and will never come back to haunt you in any way shape or form. Even if you think a question you ask or something you say may sound stupid, it does not matter. Even if you think so and so thinks you look stupid, it does not matter! In the end it's all about you.You need to isolate yourself in your mind and put them all completely out of the picture. They do not matter, you do. Try not to be so hard on yourself - you know you are better than you are giving yourself credit for.
  3. Try not to focus too much on the past. I think I can relate to you in this respect where we both reflect on our mistakes in the past a bit too much. Pretend like you're folding up all those worrisome thoughts in a little cardboard box and toss it aside. You need to remove yourself from your past as much as possible in order to improve yourself as you move forward.
  4. As for the GRE... practice, practice , practice! Time is your worst enemy here. Practicing in a simulated environment will help you not only get a better score, but will help train your wandering mind to focus as well. a. Your quantitative score, at the very least, can improve in a short time through practicing. You will notice the more you test the more you notice peculiar patterns in the questions. They reuse similar questions over and over. If you don't know how to do certain questions, there are websites like Magoosh that will teach you how to do them, offer practice examples and explanations, etc. b. The Verbal score is a bit more difficult to prep over a small period of time. My advice is to do flash cards containing the common GRE words and try to pick up as many of these words as you can. And of course, after you think you have become a whiz with your flash cards you can try another real-time practice exam. c. Analytical Writing is a bit different and is another challenging score to bring up. My advice is to look at examples online and try to find examples of prompts. Make sure you read the prompt instructions clearly, most of the time if you just follow the instructions you do alright.
  5. Like @mathandcs said, though a lot of schools require GRE it is not the determining factor. Even if your GRE score is less than stellar, other parts of your application can make up for it.
  6. Breathe... You are allowed to make mistakes. Take it one step at a time and one day at a time- babysteps! Eventually you will get there.

Good luck! :slight_smile: