What to Do When Your Kid Doesn't Like the School They Got Into?

<p>My daughter got into a great school, Syracuse University, and she hates it there. She wants to transfer to a school located in a larger city. She says her classes are good, but she feels she doesn't fit in. She's currently a freshman. Her GPA at SU is 3.0. She also was accepted to Drexel, UMass Amherst, and Univ. Vermont. Drexel is the only one located in a big city. She's going to reapply there as a transfer student. </p>

<p>Where else could she apply that's in the Northeast that she might like? She's majoring in Neuroscience/Bio and Psych.</p>

<p>Northeastern, BU, most of the smaller schools in Boston. Don’t know how generous these school will be with transfer financial aid, but it’s worth a shot…</p>

<p>My niece hated her school for most of the first year and planned to transfer… but then somehow by the end of the year she got happier. I would say tell her not to burn her bridges at Syracuse until she has to because her feelings might change. Perhaps she just needs to find her place there. My niece graduated last year and she ended up LOVING her college and stayed in Chicago afterwards… You cannot imagine how miserable she was at first. I suspect this happens quite often. Good luck to you.</p>

<p>Your daughter won’t be the only one who will be transferring after her freshman year. Other students will be doing the same. I would let HER do the research on the transfer schools. Seriously…I would stay right out of it. The decision of where to transfer and the programs she wants can be researched by her. You don’t mention finances in your post, so I’m going to assume that they are not an issue. None of the schools on the list above meet full need and her prospects of getting merit aid as a transfer student are not good. IF finances are a consideration, you should discuss your financial limitations with her so she knows the types of school to target in HER search for a school to transfer to.</p>

<p>I transferred too. Transferred TO Syracuse. I missed out a lot by transferring: being in a freshman dorm, learning all about Sororities/Frats, etc. In fact, it was much, much harder to transfer but not because I was transferring to SU, it was b/c I was a transfer. Everyone already had their first year of making friends and getting to learn the school, I had to learn that differently. In retrospect, I’d advise she stick it out.</p>

<p>Having said that, I didn’t discover all of what SU had to offer until much later than if I went there as a freshman, and there was a lot. I loved to “visit” with my rm and other pals all the different places that served food. I also loved to discover all the different foods on … what’s that street that’s “off campus” but yet nearby? I had gone to a tiny suburban LAC and it was an eye-opener visiting downtown Syracuse. My rm, now a famous newscaster, introduced me to all sorts of gay hangouts I never would have found on my own (not to mention the fact that I’m not gay, but they weren’t so obvious anyway. And this was back in the late 70s!) I had tons of fun nonetheless. Unfortunately I also didn’t get into the “Orange Spirit” either, which I should have. All that really starts to heat up during March Madness… </p>

<p>I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, your DD needs to discover all of what SU has to offer before she decides to leave. </p>

<p>Something else. She could also be experiencing a symptom of being up North and in the cold. One huge suggestion I also highly recommend she get a sun simulator lamp. does wonders for anyone who goes to school where sun is limited.

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<p>My D got into her #1 choice, and was DELIGHTED! Then 6 weeks in, she felt she was not where she needed/wanted to be. I encouraged her to apply for transfers, but stayed out of the entire process (except to encourage her…I told her it was better to consider a transfer than try to ‘white knuckle’ 4 years). Honestly I didn’t think it would work (I didn’t think she’d get the FA that she required, and more). That was the main reason I stayed out of it. Plus she was 3000 miles away, so it was (relatively) easy to stay out of it. Surprise of surprises, she was accepted with the FA and scholarship $ she needed to make it, and went from a (beautiful) rural woman’s LAC to NYC and has been excelling for the last 4 years. She keeps looking at year 1 as a “waste of time” and I keep reminding her that it was that “waste of time” that got her where she is today.</p>

<p>Just like in ‘real life’ sometimes we make mistakes that we can quickly identify and correct, and just like in ‘real life’ we should be encouraged to follow our instincts.</p>

<p>Has your D joined clubs, tried any ECs that might help her feel more engaged at her U? Sometimes this can have a BIG effect on how happy/welcomed the kiddo feels at their U. It is interesting that your kiddo wanted to attend & then found out she is more of an urban kid. Our S said he’d be happy & apply anywhere. We went on a family trip which included Rochester NY, showed him snow poles & fences and some of the lovely campuses in that state. He decided at that point that he’s more of an urban, warm weather person & was very happy at USC.</p>

<p>I transferred from our flagship U after my 1st year & was very happy at the new U, so I DO understand about transferring. Was very happy at new U & got MUCH more FAid & merit aid there than at original U (where I hadn’t applied for anything since it was so cheap). It is usually much harder to get any aid as a transfer. I really wanted it so worked hard to make things work out financially (Us were MUCH cheaper back in the day).</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>My SO did the same thing. He did his freshman year at Syracuse and just wasn’t happy. He transferred to University of Texas-Austin and says he doesn’t know if he would have finished school if he hadn’t transferred. This was the early 1980s.</p>

<p>I would lean toward letting her decide, as she is the one that has to “white-knuckle” it, and she may lose her enthusiasm for school if she isn’t happy. It’s not a knock on her or Syracuse. Good luck to her.</p>

<p>Did she get scholarship money at Syracuse? Transfer money is usually a lot harder to come by compared to applying for normal admission.</p>

<p>You might add Tufts to the list of Boston schools. It’s near the edge of Boston in a city (Somerville) environment. It sounds like Boston University and Northeastern (already mentioned above) would be good fits.</p>

<p>Has she stated her reasons for wanting to be in a big city?</p>

<p>Pittsburgh isn’t a huge city, but it’s neuroscience and psych are good.</p>

<p>Why does she feel like she doesn’t fit in? I think this is key to figuring out where she should be.</p>

<p>I second what Limabeans says regarding the Northeast winter and its effects on ones mood. Your daughter might have a severe Vitamin D defiency from lack of sun exposure and she might feel alot better with light therapy. One of my kids who would never have considered tanning had decided to go once every two weeks. He said it really made him feel better…He also uesed the light and the doctor prescribed very high doses of vitamin D. </p>

<p>Has your daughter visted Drexel? I can’t imagine that school making her any happier than Syracuse.</p>

<p>Pitt is a great school in a great small city.</p>

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<p>We really didn’t have a Northeast winter this year though. This winter has been unusally mild with a decent amount of sunlight.</p>

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The issue in winter isn’t really how much sun you get, it is the fact that since the sun is lower in the sky, the light has to travel through more atmosphere, which filters out the UV-B needed to produce vitamin D in your skin. </p>

<p>If you are north of Georgia or so, you cannot produce vitamin D in your skin from winter sun.</p>

<p>Would she like U of Rochester? They’re supposed to be strong in the sciences (but of course if she doesn’t like Syracuse weather, she won’t like Rochester either…)</p>

<p>Pittsburgh IS a small city, but compared to Syracuse it might just as well be Paris or Rome. It’s a much more vibrant place. The city itself has twice as many people as Syracuse, and the metropolitan area’s population is 3-1/2 times larger than Syracuse’s. </p>

<p>Either Pitt or Carnegie-Mellon (which are practically adjacent) might work out.</p>

<p>Drexel, by the way, is not a bad choice at all. Philadelphia counts as a much larger city (and much larger than Pittsburgh, too), and Drexel is right smack in the middle of it. It’s in an area of the city right across the river from the main business district, and that basically has one huge university campus including Drexel, Penn, and what’s now called University of the Sciences in Philadelphia (a/k/a the Pharmacy School), as well as the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, Children’s Hospital, the University City Science Center, and the Wistar Institute. Drexel’s new president is a very exciting, effective person. If Drexel were a stock, it would have a “Buy” rating.</p>