<p>So let's say that you've gotten past four grueling years of high school. Top of your class! High SAT and ACT scores! APs in the double digits, with 5s on nearly all of them. Founded charity projects! Clubs! Written great essays. Gotten glowing recommendations. </p>
<p>So let's say that, despite having had to deal with many of the same problems as a true minority (learning a new language, for instance), you are deemed white and thus face an unjust "disadvantage" when entering college in the most competitive year ever, while peers who are only "minorities" when it comes to college admissions get in with lesser credentials; let's say that despite that you manage to get into some pretty top notch colleges.</p>
<p>So let's say you're not rich, and so you can't quite afford to pay for an expensive undergraduate education, but you're not poor, so it's not paid for you.</p>
<p>So let's say that after all of your hard work and hopes and dreams and expectations, you have to settle for your state's flagship public university.</p>
<p>You find a way to play well the hand you’ve been doubt, and you stop whining about what you perceive as the injustice of life. Instead, you decide to feel fortunate that you’re among the small percentage of the world’s population that gets any kind of higher education at all. You feel extra fortunate since you managed to move to a country that has offered you so many opportunities that you didn’t have in your home country.</p>
<p>And if your state’s flagship happens to be Virginia (which I’m guessing it is from your posts on other threads), you thank your lucky stars that you live in a state which has a flagship university that’s among the top universities in the land.</p>
<p>And I find other times to be thankful for the things I’ve got. There’s… oh, let’s see… There’s Thanksgiving, the winter holidays, New Year’s, birthday… Even a day-to-day basis!</p>
<p>But the culmination of four years that seem so wasted now… That’s not a time to be thankful for something of which I feel robbed, betrayed, and cheated.</p>
<p>“So let’s say you’re not rich, and so you can’t quite afford to pay for an expensive undergraduate education, but you’re not poor, so it’s not paid for you.”</p>
<p>Places like Virginia give need-based financial aid to all students that are accepted including out of state students. From another thread, it looks like you were accepted there. What was the financial problem with attending there?</p>
<p>If you want to be envious of students who are dirt poor, go ahead, but such students face challenges when it comes to obtaining a college education that are far beyond what middle class students face. There are relatively few colleges that promise to meet 100% of students’ demonstrated financial need, and most poor students can’t qualify for such colleges because those colleges are among the nation’s toughest to gain entrance to. Poor students typically go to extremely weak schools, and many poor students have uneducated parents who are not able to help them with their school work, and may not even be supportive of their getting an education. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, there are many students who go to UF for undergrad and then go to places like Ivies for grad school.</p>
<p>First of all, I never stated that I was envious of the poor.</p>
<p>Second, “need-based” is very much at the discretion of the school in question. Based on my family’s income, we do not qualify. But my parents do not have the logical means with which to pay for UVa’s undergraduate education. And, as much as I’d be happy to go there, UVa’s not even my top choice.</p>
<p>As far as getting into an Ivy League grad school from UF: yes, of course it’s possible. Maybe even to a similar degree as from upper tier colleges. But it’s hard for me to justify another four years of focused discipline (in preparation for some mystical goal) when my last four years came up short of a very similar goal.</p>
<p>You’re better off than a lot of people, many of whom have worked equally as hard or are equally intelligent as you are. Consider yourself fortunate. </p>
<p>Florida is a great school. Is it Harvard? No. </p>
<p>But will it keep you from doing anything you want to do in life? No. </p>
<p>I know a girl who just graduated from UF and was recently accepted into Harvard Med. So you can do anything you want from UF. Just go in with an open mind and maintain your ambitions.</p>
<p>Huh? Robbed? If you’ve done as well as you say the top colleges are incredibly generous. They expect 10% of your parent’s income if they have typical assets. Below that there is still generous aid. So is your problem with your parents or colleges?</p>
<p>And if our parent’s can’t pay their EFC and you are a top student there are a sea of merit aid schools. So, with proper planning, you would have a lot of choice.</p>
<p>Can you be more specific about the unfairness of it all?</p>
That’s life. Sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. But you keep putting out your best effort, and eventually you will get to where you want to be. </p>
<p>Remember, getting into “so-and-so University” is not your ultimate goal. At least it shouldn’t be. Your ultimate goal should be whatever you want to spend the rest of your life doing, i.e. research, or a lawyer, or a doctor, or an engineer, or whatever. And so far, those goals are all still alive for you, and will still be when you graduate from UF. </p>
<p>If you keep your ultimate goal in mind, you will never feel like the world is falling when you face setbacks like this.</p>
<p>“If you keep your ultimate goal in mind, you will never feel like the world is falling when you face setbacks like this.”</p>
<p>I know this is rational, and I thank you for your input. But, nevertheless, my four year goal HAS been to go to certain schools and that goal shall not presently materialize.</p>
<p>"Huh? Robbed? If you’ve done as well as you say the top colleges are incredibly generous. They expect 10% of your parent’s income if they have typical assets. Below that there is still generous aid. So is your problem with your parents or colleges?</p>
<p>And if our parent’s can’t pay their EFC and you are a top student there are a sea of merit aid schools. So, with proper planning, you would have a lot of choice.</p>
<p>Can you be more specific about the unfairness of it all?"</p>
<p>Thanks for the cynical, tailor-made reply “mom.” First, your definition of a top college is likely not quite the same as mine. It is true: Harvard, Yale, and Princeton only expect 10% of the typical income. But since when did UPenn, Duke, UChicago, etc. stop being recognized as top schools? I assure you that they do not expect only 10% of a typical income. Furthermore, “mom,” I did apply for many merit-aid schools, INCLUDING the ones I listed. Unfortunately, getting merit-aid is always difficult (ESPECIALLY AT SUCH SCHOOLS), and it is more so in a year that will go down as the most competitive in history.</p>
<p>hey! i’m looking to get a crew together to rob banks! you in?</p>
<p>also, i’d just like to add to what the OP is saying. it’s happened time after time after time: the middle class kids gets stiffed. their parents make enough to live comfortably, yet for some reason colleges (for the most part) seem to think they’ll be able to afford to spend 15-25% of their total income to send their kid to college… my family’s EFC is a fifth of my parents’ income, and i’m the second of 4 kids, and all 4 of us went through/are in private school… i don’t get it, you’d think that after seeing so many similar cases, colleges would redo their financial aid calculators.</p>
<p>"the middle class kids gets stiffed. their parents make enough to live comfortably, yet for some reason colleges (for the most part) seem to think they’ll be able to afford to spend 15-25% of their total income to send their kid to college… "</p>
<p>I’m middle class, and my son got no need-based financial aid for his LAC. Yes, it is difficult for our family to pay.</p>
<p>However, every day I feel fortunate that we’re not poor. I know poor people who have had to take out tens of thousands of dollars in loans to go to college or who have had to struggle to even go to community college. I also had poor students who were helping to support their nuclear families while attending college.</p>
<p>I don’t think that the middle class gets screwed when it comes to college. I don’t think that having to settle for one’s flagship public university is horrible. I think that the OP has a lot to be grateful for including being allowed to enter the U.S. and to benefit from the higher education here.</p>
<p>If the OP feels so cheated, perhaps the OP should go back to his country of origin and partake of the higher education there.</p>
<p>the fact that he has a lot to be thankful for does not change the fact that he’s here, colleges said he was good enough, but they’re essentially holding him out at arm’s length.</p>
<p>and i agree about settling for the state flagship, however, i do not think i would have a few weeks ago. realizing that it’s possible to get a great education outside of the “top” schools is something that takes a while to find, especially when you might be able to go to those “top” schools.</p>
<p>This is about entitlement. Unless you have HYP beating down your door, merit aid from the few top schools that offer it is unlikely. Yet if you can get into Penn, Duke and Chicago, applications to realistic merit aid schools would have been likely to pay off. You could have lots and lots of choice which the poor don’t have.</p>
<p>Most people can’t afford all the things they would like. Colleges are consumer products just like cars. If your budget says Honda, don’t head to the Mercedes dealership.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, please don’t assume that “my country of origin” is a bereft third world nation where opportunities are impossible to find. Nevertheless, I’ve already said that I’m generally grateful for being here in the United States. But I’ve also already done more in my time in the United States than many of my peers who will be enrolling with me at UF. I’ve done even more than some kids who I know are going to the top tier schools (because they can pay or have an ethnic last name). I’m not going to look at something unjust like that and say “well, I AM in the United States.” That’s not even rational. OF COURSE I’M IN THE UNITED STATES. Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this discussion. And for that matter, so are they, and they seem to have gotten the better end of the deal.</p>
<p>hmom5, what do you want? To prove to me that I messed up? Even if we are to assume that you are correct and that this is my fault, what good shall come of that? Usually you identify your mistakes so as to learn from them. But what would I learn from this? To apply to different schools the next time that I apply for an undergraduate education? -_- And, anyway, the “realistic” merit schools of which you speak are probably only marginally better than UF. At that point, I would have to question whether investing additional hours of work on applications to colleges in which I’m not necessarily interested is worth my time. This IS about entitlement. And I’m not one of those kids who questions why they got waitlisted at Duke or rejected by HYPS or who knows what else. I GOT IN TO WHERE I WANT TO GO. That means that not only do I think I’m entitled to go there, but so does that school. And if I’m entitled to go there and I want to go there, then I’ll apply there. I’m sure you could go do some fine research and prove to me that university “so-and-so” offers great merit aid. But it would not be on the same level as Duke. And there’s no guarantee that it’s a school I’d like to go to.</p>
<p>Finally, and once again, I never wished I was poor. I just find this whole college process to be so unjust and corrupt. There are so many ways to cheat in. Race? Finances? Knowing the right people? I managed to get into Duke despite being white (in a school where three out of the four kids who got into Ivies where “minorities,” or at least claimed to be), middle class, and without connections. And I love Duke, and I want to go. The fact that I can’t renders this system unjust.</p>
<p>tomdadon, I’m not sure what you want from posters. You asked what do you do when you’re bitter. NSM responded that you move on. What else were you expecting to hear?</p>
<p>Not much else. Just wanted to hear other people’s input. And, in time, I will move on, with or without this thread. But in a time of frustration, people need to vent. That’s what I’m doing.</p>
<p>Anyone who finds replying to this thread useless can abstain from doing so.</p>
<p>Wow. Just curious, what makes you think you are “true minority” besides new language (a few years ago, I guess)?</p>
<p>
This is public forum. You are not the only one who learning from this thread. The lesson is: do your home work. You did not. You did not find out how much you will be asked to pay or how much your parents will be willing to pay or both and lived by unrealistic expectation. Nobody robbed you. You did not get money you thought for some reason you entitled to get.</p>
<p>As for what to do… Set next goal and keep going. It’s up to you if an admission committee decision will turn your life downhill or not.</p>
<p>"And I love Duke, and I want to go. The fact that I can’t renders this system unjust. "</p>
<p>Who, just exactly, was it that told you that life is fair?</p>
<p>And why, just exactly, given your experience in life thus far, did you believe that lie?</p>
<p>You are heartbroken, we get it. But if this thread serves one other student as a much needed warning to not let him/herself fall in love with any one school, you will have done your good deed for today.</p>
<p>Please read and learn folks: The most important school on your list, and the only one you should feel any affection for, is your financial safety.</p>
<p>Well, first of all, quit whining and scapegoating your classmates. And drop the massive entitlement complex.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, you’ve got a money issue. </p>
<p>Are you eligible for military service? Do any of your desired schools offer ROTC scholarships? They will pay your way.</p>
<p>Can you find any external scholarships for which you can apply? Those might be helpful. If you’re in science/engineering, and a US citizen, you might want to look into SMART scholarships - they are pretty competitive, but they’ll pay your way plus a stipend. However, look into less competitive scholarships as well, because you have a better chance of winning them.</p>