<p>I could give the typical “my son does NOT use drugs because he told me,” etc. etc. I wouldn’t rule it out just because I’ve never gotten him tested or seen a reason to get him tested, but it doesn’t mean it’s an impossibility.</p>
<p>
My son and I have been doing the SAT QOTD for years, and are still doing it even though he’s finished with SATs.</p>
<p>It just seems like, based on your description of his personality chages, you might want to consider ruling out any drug or alcohol problem.</p>
<p>Please do look into the sleep apnea. I cannot express how much the diagnosis and treatment changed my son’s life. It’s like I have my son back after a year of having a stranger.</p>
<p>Someone above mentioned the possibility of an NLD (non-verbal learning disability). Even though you had a full workup done, it sounds like it was about 10 years ago. My experience has been that the NLD diagnosis was not really thought of or “well baked” 10 years ago. My D15 was recently diagnosed with an NLD and probably Aspergers. She also has a stratospheric IQ test score from an early test (although later IQ testing with a different test has brought her score down considerably, although it is still pretty high). And looking back at some earlier test results, the evidence of the NLD was there… the tester just didn’t fully recognize it.</p>
<p>The NLD causes my daughter immense problems with executive functioning. Keeping a calendar, organizing to complete multi-step or long term assignments, getting her stuff turned in… She covered well in middle school (the work was easy enough that she could re-do the assignment in a few minutes if she got to class and realized she had lost it). But when she hit 9th grade, the wheels started to fall off the wagon… She was very frustrated, sure that she was “getting stupider”. What happened is that the expectations in this area ratcheted WAY up in high school.</p>
<p>After getting this diagnosis, we met with the learning specialist at her school. The psychologist had given us some suggestions to help her. We worked out a plan to implement some (maybe 75%) of the suggestions. The difference in her grades one semester later was striking. She earned all As or A-s second semester, up considerably from before. It helps that we all (her included) recognize that she needs help organizing now. So for something like studying for the SAT, before I would have thought she just WASN’T organizing and studying the way she should. Now I know she CAN’T without some support and help; that part of her brain just doesn’t work the way most people’s do.</p>
<p>I also think that a sleep disorder clinic might be helpful, too. Although as with many things, if your son does not particularly want to fix his insomnia problems, then it may not do much good. Many suggestions are behavior and pattern changes. Obviously if he DOES have apnea, that is a different story, and maybe they can help with that.</p>
<p>A few obvious questions:</p>
<p>When’s the last time he had his vision checked?
When’s the last time he had a physical? (ruling out diabetes, low grade infection, etc.)
What is his diet like and what kind of regular exercise does he get?</p>
<p>Hugs to you, it is very trying when a kid seems to lose interest in life.</p>
<p>I can’t tell from your description how much of this is depression, “within normal range” of teenage acting out, the neuro-functioning, or something else. But before I started down any path, I’d get him a physical exam tout suite.</p>
<p>And for god’s sake, forget about his IQ. It’s like telling a teenage boy who is 5’5" that he was in the 90th percentile for height and weight at his 6 months checkup. There are smart, super smart, and genius smart kids distributed all over colleges and universities in America. He will find his intellectual peers when he gets to college, even if it’s not at Chicago.</p>
<p>Maybe you can get the course catalogs to start showing up in the mail from places like Reed, U Missouri at Rolla, Rhodes, CMU, Stoneybrook, etc. just to show him how deep the bench strength is in courses and faculty all over the country? Get a mix of public/private, big/small, North/South (or East/West) so he sees that no institution has a lock on mathematical genius.</p>
<p>Big cyber hug.</p>
<p>I would not suspect NLD. Getting a 154 (I assume that’s Full Scale?)IQ score would mean he’d have to score high on both the Verbal & Nonverbal sections. Two other factors would lead me away from this diagnosis : 1) he scored moderately higher on the Math section than he did on the CR section. 2) He wants to major in Physics. Students with NLD will struggle with higher level math and shy away from very visual subjects such as Physics. They tend to read and orally express well, although their ability to “infer” and comprehend is at times lacking. Many symptoms of NLD are similair to AS.</p>
<p>His GPA and scores seem very good and will get him into lots of excellent schools where he can study math and physics to his heart’s content. Perhaps he will not get into UChicago as an undergrad but, if he does well in his undergraduate school, he may get in as a graduate student.</p>
<p>There are many small liberal arts colleges that have excellent reputations for getting their undergrads to go on to Phd programs. </p>
<p>What concerns me is his sleeping in class and his history of being bullied. I would concentrate on his emotional and physical well-being right now rather than college. I know my DD was very stressed her junior year and was constantly sleeping and crying. Her junior PSATs were dreadful. ( She did worse on her PSATs junior year than freshmen year!!!) My H and I hustled on down to the guidance counselor and, with our DD, picked out a much more relaxed senior schedule. We wanted her to have plenty of time to socialize with her friends, play with her dog, and generally enjoy senior year. We knew she could find a college that would be a match for her interests. We did not want her to take an SAT prep course unless she truely wanted to. (She did not). She took the SATs once and did fine.</p>
<p>So I would do what I could to ease the pressure on your son. Perhaps a lighter load or drop a few ECs. Make sure he has some fun and enjoys his senior year. He sounds like a hard-working young man who will find the right school to pursue his interests.</p>
<p>He wore glasses every day until he was about 12, and now wears them only when he’s looking at a computer/TV screen. His vision has actually improved quite a bit over the years, so his prescription has reached a point where he doesn’t get a huge improvement with glasses.</p>
<p>He had a physical earlier this year; everything seemed to be a OK, mandatory drug screen passed no problem. I will still talk to his doctor about the physical related problems he’s having, and will talk to his school about either the ACT or an individualized study program for the SAT.</p>
<p>His diet could be improved a bit, he eats rather erratically; eating at fairly differing times each day, so he doesn’t have a real routine with it. He does eat fairly healthy, drinking mainly water, juice, milk and the occasional cup of coffee. He gets a good amount of variety and isn’t terribly fond of most junk food. </p>
<p>I also have heard a few people suggest Rose-Hulman. I’ve read a bit about the school, and it seems very good; small classes, rather individualized, small, quiet campus and neighboring town. I’ve heard a lot about their engineering program, but not much about their physical sciences programs (if they have dedicated majors for those fields.) Does anyone know anything about this?</p>
<p>Has your son indicated what environment he wants for a school? Does he want a large university or small intimate college? Does he want a setting in a rural, suburban, or urban area? Does he want a school where most of the students live on or off campus? Is Greek life important? Are big-time sports and school spirit important? Is he free to look at any part of the US (or another country?) If so, does he have an area where he would like to try living next? If he fixates on UChicago, gently ask him his preferences about these other qualities. There are literally hundreds of excellent math and physics programs in the US; furthermore it sounds like your son has talent in music and writing. I hope he considers LACs in addition to tech schools.</p>
<p>He would like something a bit smaller to medium, although he added that he might need to begin learning how to operate within a large environment such as a large college, but I don’t think it’s necessary and will probably only hinder his performance. The town we live in is considered rural with the nearest “city” being about 30 minutes away, so he said he’d like to see a change to a suburban or city campus, or at least a campus somewhat close to the city. He plans to live mainly on campus for the time being, so a college where most students live on campus would be best. He likes watching sports with friends so it might be a plus, but he’s pretty apathetic about school spirit. </p>
<p>He is somewhat obsessed with Germany and Austria, and is pretty fluent in (standard and Bavarian) German, although he wants to stay in the states for now, and I would like him to stay on the east coast, midwest, or south for undergrad school. For grad school he can go wherever he wants but for undergrad I’d like to be able to afford to fly him back for the summer.</p>
<p>I don’t think he really knows too much about about LACs (neither do I really), so he doesn’t know what to look for. I’ll see what he thinks about it.</p>
<p>Take a look at Kalamazoo College about 2 hours north to northeast of U of Chicago. Your description of him sounds like a great fit. It’s in the CTCL book so read that excerpt and see what you think. Great foreign study programs, one of the oldest in the country. One of the top colleges for students that go on to PhDs. I say with total affection for K but has and always has had a large percentage of less than socially adept, very smart kids who go in and come out 4 years later with great social skills 
It is a life of the mind type of school. It’s is a “tough” college academically but it is NOT a cut-throat school just pushes kids outside their comfort zones academically and kids grow academically in all the right ways. There are others in the midwest that would fit your son well, but your description of him just fits K to a tee. A neighbor’s son just graduated from there and when he chose it I went yup, yup that’s him. With boys there is just a “type” that love K. He can head to UofM or Chicago for grad school…both of those schools are within 2 hours and love K grads. There are a couple parents on the forums with kids at K they can speak to what’s happening right now with the kids.</p>
<p>@OP: Misunderstood you to say that he had NOT been tested for drugs. Sorry.</p>
<p>You probably can check out Rose-Hulman here on CC with a search. S is doing an engineering program for rising HS seniors there in July. We understand it to be a math/engineering college, highly ranked among non-PhD based programs. Not for the kid who’s interested in humanities or languages, I would think.</p>
<p>Not social sciences, natural sciences. They have a physics department there (my son wants to be a physics or physics/math major), but I haven’t heard or been able to find anything about the notability of the program. However, judging on the schools rating in engineering and math, I’m sure the physics program is just as good.</p>
<p>I will also look in to Kalamazoo, since it seemed like you were pretty enthusiastic about the fit, momofthreeboys :P.</p>
<p>The heavy engineering schools make sense if that’s what your son wants and Rose-Hulman is a good one to look at. In the midwest it appears that kids that like Kalamazoo also look closely at Beloit and Carleton. Carleton kids tend to me more socially energetic if that’s a descriptor and Kalamazoo kids tend to be more laid back. Carlton seems to be in a period of "on everyone’s radar screen so there’s much info on the forums about it and it’s admissions competitiveness has increased in the past couple years. St. Olaf in the same college should be looked at if one is looking at Carlton. All of these colleges are well respected academically by graduate schools and it’s just which one has the “flavor” that fits the student. In my opinion these type of high potential kids can really flourish in college. I think that is the message that Lauren Pope originally expressed. My best advice is to enjoy the process of finding that place for your son where he will thrive and grow. Keep reading… there are going to be many places that might “fit” your son. High school is not easy for many kids and sometimes the best outcome is to simply get through those years to get to a better place. If your son likes the University of Chicago then you can use that as a clue to what he finds appealing to build a list, especially if he can articulate “why Chicago” and Chicago can certainly be on the list. Some people dismiss “fit” as not important. I tend to think that for some kids it’s all about fit…for others not so much. Use your “gut” with regard to your son.</p>
<p>Carlton looks good, but it’s pretty selective no? My son would probably have to really pull up his SATs or ACT to get in. Being realistic, how would he get in to such a school? If he could at all?</p>
<p>Also, I’m considering UNH just because it might come to the point where my son will have to consider that as an option. My main question is, how is the physics department there? Also, since he’s going to be pursuing a Ph.D, just how important is his undergrad school? Would he learn less by going to UNH or have less value as a candidate for entering graduate school than if he went to a better college such as Carlton? I always figured that any college would be able to give you what you are willing to put effort towards and then some, but professors still might be good/bad I suppose. Any thoughts about this?</p>
<p>Carleton is selective but so is U of Chicago. You would want to put a balanced list together with a couple that your son is pretty assured of admission, a couple where he fits well with the admits and a couple stretch colleges. Your son should also take the ACT, some kids do score higher on that particular assessment. It’s a shorter test and is strongly based in what has been learned.</p>
<p>I would be very, very wary of any “meat grinder” schools. Rose-Hulman and others do have a “name” but the freshman year can have a reputation for being brutal – no place for a kid who is still finding his rhythm. </p>
<p>Many state schools are very pragmatic. My alma mater, Texas A&M, is known for both quality engineering program and students having a good time. </p>
<p>PhD program entry isn’t that much different than college entry. The candidates are evaluated on grades, letters of recommendations and test scores. So the 3.9 GPA from UNH with a glowing reference is going to be a stronger candidate than the 2.9 GPA from Rose Hulman with a tepid reference. Sure, the 4.0 from Rose Hulman with a glowing reference might edge out the 4.0 from UNH – but first steps first. </p>
<p>I get a bit tired of the “headline” seekers here on CC. Too many parents are not asking “how do we find a good program for our kid” but “how do we get our kid into the program with the biggest rep?” (never mind how brutal that is). </p>
<p>Compare the process to going out to dinner. “My kid gets heartburn from tomatoes” means that there are better choices than Italian, even if there is a four star Italian restaurant in town. That leaves seafood, Thai, steak houses, Chinese, Indian, Burgerville, . . . the list goes on and on. But parents get glory in their eyes and have to drag the kid to the four star option and turn a blind and hopeful eye to the reality of the tomato/heartburn situation. </p>
<p>The kid described by the OP has some challenges. It seems (IMHO) that the focus should be finding a strong, happy place where those challenges can be met and conquered – and worry about the PhD stuff later.</p>