If I had to go back, I would have had more fun and taken more social risks. I was a nerd. A happy nerd who did what she wanted and didn’t care what other people thought, but still a nerd. I wish I had reached out and tried to get people together more.
For my own kids, I wish I had made it possible for them to follow their passions more. Academically they were solid. Could they have studied more or made higher SATs? Sure. But their class ranks were high enough to be at the diminishing returns area, and they were not at all inclined to study for the SAT. They weren’t mature enough to see the value in that. I didn’t make them. I do wish I had let son1 get involved in a certain EC he loved even sooner. I didn’t block him, but I could have paved the path. Son2 I could have also paved the path more. My fear when they were young was burn out. I didn’t want to push too hard. I could have offered them the chance to do more, though.
I think my kids had more fun in high school than I did. I was more of an oddball. One thing Son1 did right was to live in the moment right up until the end. He never had senioritis, and he also had a smooth transition to college. He was enthusiastic about every new event that happened.
OP, think of the whole process as a journey, not a destination.
I heard of a more strict rule than “don’t have a baby”: “don’t kiss” (and in college , not only in high school) - not in my family though.
Which one is easier to follow and more enforceable?
When our child was in college, we did have a “talk” about “don’t have a baby”. It turns out there is no such a need LOL. He had no GF and (likely) no hookup in 4 years!
I heard of “no kiss” – from a parent to a GRADUATE student! (Not due to being super religious.) Go figure! Maybe the wishful thinking for such a parent is: holding hand like preschoolers is acceptable. Oh, a corollary of the “no kiss” rule is “no hug”.
This guy (Keith?) is funny: He seems to have grown up in NYC and became an expat:
I actually advised my offspring that it would be best not to have a child before completing their education, including any graduate degrees they might want to obtain.
Now that I have one who is going the MBA route, which involves several years of work before enrolling in a graduate program and therefore not completing school until a rather advanced age, I regret this a little. But I didn’t know back then how badly I would want grandchildren now.
Marian, so those of us with slightly younger students, shall we be telling them “yes baby” or “limit your education to a reasonable number of years”. lol!