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This seems to be the rationale for why some parents who could afford to pay the entire tab themselves require the student to make a substantial contribution.</p>
<p>It seems to me that the kids at the top private colleges tend to be ambitious students anyway -- the kind who would work hard no matter what.
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All kids are different ... personally I coasted through high school and got into a top school and got smoked when I first went to college ... and the day I paid my first tuition bill myself (start of junior year) is the day my academic performance started to turn around. The punch line; for some kids having skin in the game can be very beneficial.</p>
<p>FYI - an idea I am toying with ... have my kids take out student loans while they are in school ... and then give then a graduation gift that pays off the loan ... then while they are in school they will financial partners in their education but not be burdened as they enter the real world.</p>
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FYI - an idea I am toying with ... have my kids take out student loans while they are in school ... and then give then a graduation gift that pays off the loan ... then while they are in school they will financial partners in their education but not be burdened as they enter the real world.
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<p>That could really work well, I think, for some types of young people. I was wondering, though, whether you would explain the conditions (graduation within a certain number of semesters, a particular GPA, etc.) to the student beforehand, or would you make the gift a surprise?</p>
<p>marian, your comment about the relationship between a child sharing in paying for college and working hard may have been directed at my post and no offense is taken. But I think you confuse parents like us and our desire to have our students invested in their education. I and most others like me do not relate that investment in their education to working hard.</p>
<p>Rather our choice to have them be significant participants(beyond summer jobs which pay for their spending money, cell phone and perhaps books) is so that they will come to value their education in a more meaningful way, have a real stake in the endeavor and help usher them in to a new aspect of adult life. It forces them to consider the economic challenges of paying for a college education and become a determined problem solver in order to reach their goal. It requires them to consider very hard the economic ramification of their decisions. All these things will serve them well in adult life. What our son did not know was that we were always there as a safety net.</p>
<p>And do not underestimate the satisfaction that student like my son has in knowing that they have successfully taken care of about 75% of a $160,000 undergraduate education. I am sure he realizes the significant thing he accomplished and will take the confidence that success generates into his post graduate life whatever that may be.</p>
<p>And I have suggested that he make that fact known to prospective employers and other interviewers. I am quite sure that they will be very impressed and value what this achievement will bring to their company, grad school or organization. Couple this with his impressive academic success which puts him in the top 10% of his class and he will be in a powerful position as graduation nears.</p>
<p>Parenting is so much more that providing for our childrens' needs, though that is of paramount importance. But another aspect is guiding them to become responsible, confident and able adults. And that is the ONLY reason we approached the college costs as we did.</p>
<p>When I say that I will do whatever is necessary for my child to go to the school of her choice, that does not mean that she won't be taking out loans in her own name if possible. Rather, it means that we will work out, as a family, what is necessary so that she can attend. We're not cash machines, and we'd rather have the necessary loans be in her name than ours. But we're not putting any particular dollar amount attached (like "You have to finance half of your tuition, and if you can't, you better find another school.") She will certainly have "skin in this game" and we will have her keep an eye on the bottom line, but we pledged that she would not find herself in the "death of a dream" situation if we could help it.</p>
<p>I don't remember who posted this, but previously in this thread there was a comment about getting a cheaper car or a Lexus, and equating it to tuition. This is an equation to which I have never and will never subscribed. Education is not a car; tuition is not a car payment. I will not scrimp and save and plan so that d can have an expensive car when an economy would do as well. I will scrimp and save and plan so that d can have the education she needs in the circumstances in which she feels most comfortable. Colleges are not fungible. Fit is important. Maybe I feel this way because of my culture; maybe it's because as the child of Holocaust survivors, I've learned that the only thing no one can take away from you is what you know.</p>
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That could really work well, I think, for some types of young people. I was wondering, though, whether you would explain the conditions (graduation within a certain number of semesters, a particular GPA, etc.) to the student beforehand, or would you make the gift a surprise?
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The thought was a surprise gift ... but to be honest I hadn't really considered the alternative ... I need to chew on that one a bit.</p>
<p>originaloog, I guess my problem is that I can't imagine either of my kids being willing to take on that much work-study and that much debt.</p>
<p>I suspect that, given the kinds of conditions you set up for your son, my son, who could easily have obtained a full-time job at the store where he worked part-time during high school, would have decided to simply work there and not to go to college at all. And my daughter, who has extremely good academic credentials, would have gone to our state university, which is well known for throwing generous merit scholarship money (in many cases, full rides) at people with high test scores. Neither of them would have been willing to commit themselves to raising $100,000 at a time in their lives when their income potential is at its lowest.</p>
<p>It may take a certain personality type to profit from the kind of arrangement that seems to be working well for your family.</p>
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It only shatters your dream because you're not willing to work hard enough to attain your dream. Working summers and during the school year, taking out loans, busting butt to get merit aid, doing Americorps or other programs that help pay for college -- all would help you afford your dream -- if your dream were important enough to you.
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<p>Great post. I also want to throw in a vote for ROTC scholarships. If the stars align correctly (and he beats considerable odds against him), my son might end up 26 years old with a fully-paid-for degree in engineering and four years of experience as a Navy or Air Force officer. Being 26 with that sort of resume wouldn't be bad at all.</p>
<p>My husband and I agreed that we would pay full tuition for our D to go to UCLA, or CAL; however, if she wanted to go to SC, she would have to kick in 1/2....seeing as SC cost 2X as much. She visited all of them, and in the end, hands down, chose SC. Interestingly, the next day at work I received an e/mail for the Army ROTC. I approached my D with the idea and she was all for it. If you knew my D, you would understand. Many kids would not be interested, nor do I feel would be able to handle the pressures that go along with taking that route. D attends SC with a full 4-yr scholarship to the university of her dreams. Husband & I fork out room and board, which is still quite a bit. In short, we would not have gone broke to send her there. I don't think it's unreasonable to make your child pay for some of their education, especially when the tuition is astronomically high to begin with.</p>
<p>There's another recent thread, which I can't find at the moment, that deals with similar paying for college issues. Others also stated what I did there: DO NOT USE YOUR RETIREMENT FUNDS TO FINANCE COLLEGE. All financial advice I've heard and seen in print says this. You can help repay loans later, but you cannot fund your retirement fund with extra money later to make up for today's spending. Do not count on your children to support you later, they may not be able to or choose to. Continue to fund your retirement fund through the college tuition years.</p>
<p>I also agree with the PAY FORWARD philosophy of helping your child as much as you practically can, with the hope they also help the next generation. This does not include breaking the above rule. "Help" includes the good work ethic and other intangibles you want your child to have, eg working within a budget, moderation in spending...</p>
<p>Wash Dad and momoney77, Congrats to your kids. It's not for everyone but for those who want interested in the military service, ROTC is a great way to go.<br>
My S is also paying his way through college with a NROTC scholarship plus 2 merit scholarships from the univ. and a part-time job. When he graduates he will be debt free and will have the added benefit of having his college fund money (state u. savings amt.) to start his adult life with. He feels he has a great stake in his education (since he is earning every bit of it) and is very happy with how it has worked out for him and excited about the future. </p>
<p>In our large urban/suburban public school system, the vast majority of college bound students attend one of our state univerisities. This includes the "top of the class" students too. There is no pressure here for top students to go to privates, thank goodness.</p>
<p>Our neighbor had to delay his senior year of college due to a trip to Iraq, courtesy of the military. He came back too late for first semester and therefore couldn't take some courses needed before his final semester- he'll finish two years later than he had planned (hopefully).</p>
<p>That is not a problem with ROTC. When you are part of ROTC you are training to be an officer so you will not be commissioned until you graduate from college. Reserves or National Guard can be called up at any time.</p>