What would you do?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi everyone,</p>

<p>I know this is the "parents" forum, but I think this is where I'll get the best answers. Plus, it sort of has to do with parents.</p>

<p>I'll try and keep it short here. I'm a transfer student, in my third year, and at a school that is a little under 1,000 miles from home. Upon arriving to said school, I had my orientation, which to say the very least, was dysfunctional at best. This was the day we got to choose our classes (of course as transfers, we got the last pick) and to put it simply, my academic adviser is a joke. Nevertheless, <em>I</em> figured it out without the help of my "adviser". As a side-note, I paid my deposit a month and a half prior to orientation, at which point they said they would evaluate my transfer credits, which still was not fully completed upon my arrival at orientation (this is significant later on). </p>

<p>I bid farewell to my parents, whom I love dearly, and then go on my way getting adjusted. I've been going to class, making good grades, all that wonderful stuff. However, about two weeks ago, I noticed that my credit evaluations were complete finally, and to my dismay, several courses were not transferred equivalently (even though they are 100% the same course). I'm currently working through that, but am not sure how it will turn out. I have a thread going about that in the "transfer student" section, so that is not the issue at hand for this thread. </p>

<p>However, the whole fiasco with my transfer credits has left me with a very bad taste in my mouth for the school I'm at, not to mention the fact that I was already feeling quite homesick to begin with. The thing with the credit issue has got me very stressed out, and now I'm already thinking about calling it quits here after this semester. If the credits don't transfer, I will have to be here another semester, and that will not sit well with my conscience. I already feel guilty about my parents paying out-of-state tuition for me to be here (without financial aid).</p>

<p>So now to my question... What would you do, if you were me? I feel as if I have nowhere to turn, and I would like to talk to my parents about it, but feel as if I will be disappointing them if they find out I'm not having the time of my life. </p>

<p>Thank you for reading my long (I guess I lied about the keeping it short at the beginning, sorry folks) post, and I hope you all have a wonderful night.</p>

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<p>Why did you transfer? What was the issue with the original school? Why do you think anything would be better at a third school?</p>

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<p>I don’t know your reasons for transferring, but if it is to a more reputable and rigorous school, it may be worth hanging in there to get the diploma. If it is no better than your first college, perhaps you can transfer back.</p>

<p>You have paid for the semester, and are making good grades. It is worth it to hang in there, continue to do good work. Some of what you are feeling could be normal homesickness, and most of the time this resolves when students get adjusted and make new friends. </p>

<p>Work on getting the credit issue resolved and see what happens. If you need to stay an extra semester, you can consider the pros and cons of that. If not, and the new credits transfer back to your old college, you can apply to transfer back. </p>

<p>Student counseling is there for you. Don’t assume it is only for students with serious problems. They are there to help with students who are home sick and have other adjustment to college concerns. </p>

4

<p>What happens if the next school doesn’t take your credits?</p>

<p>Work with what you’ve got right now. Get counseling for the homesickness- that’s what the counselors are there for. Continue to work with the academic deans (or their representatives) to make a case for getting the maximum number of credits to transfer; call the Dean at your former school if you need to so they can send the syllabus (not just the course description that appears on your transcript) but be prepared for them to tell you no.</p>

<p>No college wants to award a degree with their name on it when a significant number of the courses were NOT taken at their own institution. Someone should have pointed that out to you before you transferred. So do the best you can, but realize that if you transfer again, you may be further behind the 8-ball, depending on the new university’s policies.</p>

<p>Big hug. The homesickness will subside once you feel firmly committed to your new college and start making friends.</p>

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<p>Transfer credits are always a little tricky, especially if the previous courses are sketchy in some way. For example, at various times I was asked to evaluate courses that were (more or less) travel tours. I called them classes on shipboard. While the manifest content might be “European Culture and Politics,” I evaluated what tasks the students had to fulfill. Did they read anything? Was there a textbook? Did they write anything? Sometimes the answer was “No” to all three questions, and I wasn’t about the credit this as equivalent to a course in European Politics at my university. All I’m saying here is that when you transfer, it is appropriate for the new college to determine whether you have met the requirements for the degree at the new college. </p>

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<p>Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate it.</p>

<p>The reasons I transferred are that (1), the school I transferred to has a major that I’m more interested in pursuing, (2), the school I’m at now is far enough away that I’m not able to go home every other weekend, because no matter how hard I tried, I was having troubles “branching out” (3), I felt that the school I was at was too small and that I’d do better in a larger university. I would say the school I’m at more is more reputable, but it isn’t an Ivy league school or anything. </p>

<p>I think that some of it might just be homesickness, but some of it is also that I feel as if I might have made a poor decision to transfer here because I’ve had troubles since the moment I set foot on the campus. I know life isn’t easy and that it requires hard work, but I’m beginning to question whether the benefit will be worth the added cost (not just monetarily). This issue with the transfer credit has made me wonder if there are other caveats that I have missed, or other things that will hinder my success here. I’m also having thoughts about how maybe this is TOO far for me, but that may just be the homesickness kicking in.</p>

<p>As for getting the course syllabus, I have a copy of it and the course is undoubtedly the same course. The book that both schools use is authored by the same person, and the content covered is identical. I understand that they don’t want to give credit to a course that isn’t equivalent in content, but I think it is asinine for me to have to retake a class that is identical that I worked hard in to get an A in the first time I took it. </p>

<p>Anyhow, I appreciate the input because I don’t know who to discuss all of this with. I would like to discuss it with my parents, but feel as if they will be disappointed in me if I tell them about any of it (doubting my decision, credit issues, feeling like I’m too far from home, etc.). Thanks again everyone.</p>

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<p>OP- if you’ve presented the course syllabus to the right person at your new university and they’ve turned you down for credit you have three options- get the professor or a dean at the old college on the phone to discuss the course content, your performance, copies of papers you wrote, etc. and see if this person will change his/her mind. If that doesn’t work, you can either start to second guess your transfer (which will probably put you behind the 8 ball in further getting your degree… if you transfer again what if you lose even more credits?the time you need to put against a transfer is time you could be spending studying and doing well in the classes you are now taking), or you can buckle down and accept that this college doesn’t want to give you a degree if half your courses came from another institution.</p>

<p>I’d opt for number three-I agree that it’s asinine to retake the course, but why can’t you just take something else if you aren’t getting credit for the original course?</p>

<p>Homesickness can color everything. Have you tried signing up for volunteer work on campus- working on the college coat drive for the homeless, something that gets you out of your dorm room and into the student lounge having meetings with other people? Have you been attending fun events on weekends- stand up comedy/open mic nights, concerts, other things that get you out of the dorm???</p>

<p>It will help your homesickness if you are busy. If you are studying in your dorm, try the library. If you are eating alone, try walking up to a small table with an empty seat and asking, “is this seat taken?”. If you are racing out of class when the lecture ends, try hanging around to see if anyone says hi or walks out with you.</p>

<p>It will get better!!!</p>

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<p>I have an appointment with my “adviser” tomorrow and I will see what I can do with it. I emailed the department head, and he did not seem happy that I was emailing him about it. Even though that’s what I was told to do. That’s another thing that gives me some bad feelings about this place is that it seems as though I’m always bothering somebody. I don’t think transferring again is a viable option at this point, if I stopped going to school here, I’d go back to community college and do something in the trade school area. </p>

<p>I guess you’re right, the best thing would be to just suck it up if I really can’t get credit. The reason that it’s an issue is that I need the course (Principles of Marketing) to fulfill a requirement for my major. However, marketing is not my major, it is just a general requirement for all Business majors. I have looked at the transfer equivalency tables, and this college has accepted the course as an equivalent from other schools. I was told by the registrar that the reason they didn’t accept it the first go round is because my course is from a 2-year college (cc). Even though it’s the same course. </p>

<p>That is very true about homesickness, and I actually have an internship this semester with a volunteering organization (unpaid, but oh well). I’ve been keeping fairly busy, and am trying to shoehorn a part time job into my schedule so that I don’t feel so badly about my parents paying for everything. </p>

<p>I will try all those things though, thank you so much for the kind words!</p>

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<p>OP- don’t expend energy fighting a policy that you can’t change- if the college doesn’t accept the marketing course from a CC, have one more go round with your adviser and then declare defeat. But surely there are other marketing courses you can take to fulfill the requirement- buyer behavior, statistical analysis for marketing, digital marketing, etc? That will both teach you something new AND make you feel less lousy about taking the same class twice. You might ask your adviser to help you swap another marketing class to fulfill the requirement so you don’t retake the same class.</p>

<p>Good for you for interning. I predict that in a month you will have made some buddies (if not actual friends) and have people to sit with at lunch, fool around with after class, and a big project for your internship which takes up a lot of time. And one day you will realize that you haven’t thought about home at all!!!</p>

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<p>I think getting transfer credit depends on what level the marketing course is. If it’s a 200-Level course at the cc and the 4-year course level is 200 or below, there’s really no reason for it not to transfer if the course content is the same. But a 200-Level cc course won’t tranfer in place of a 4-year college’s 300- or 400- level course. </p>

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<p>If it was a 200 level course that is essentially the same as a 300 or 400 level course (text was the same, you have copies of your exams, homework, etc. to present to the faculty member who needs to evaluate it), ASK VERY POLITELY if it would be possible to waive the requirement for that specific course, and instead take a higher level course in the same subject area or another 300/400 level course within the major. Happykid’s transfer-to university had this policy for a specific 200-level at the CC but 300-level at the State U course in her program.</p>

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<p>Please don’t let your quotes around the word adviser come out during your conversations at school. That’s a sure way to hear the word no.</p>

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<p>The problem is that the course I need for the requirement is that specific course. So I would undoubtedly need to retake the same class in order to fulfill that requirement. I see what you’re saying though, that would be nice. </p>

<p>I’ve made a few “class buddies”, but no real friends. That’s a different issue though, I have my internship and will keep busy with that and trying to get a job. I think it’ll be awhile before I stop thinking about home though.</p>

<p>I’m not sure what the policy is on transferring a lower level CC course be equivalent to an upper level course at this school. I have searched and searched and cannot find it clearly stated anywhere. I plan on using the being very polite approach and seeing where that gets me. I won’t let the adviser quotes show either, that was just something I did on here to get my frustrations out about that.</p>

<p>We’ll see what happens, I’ll go in with an open mind and maybe things will work out. Just in case I came across this way, to make it clear, I am not an entitled person and believe in earning things by working hard for them and I don’t just expect things to be given to me. That being said, I believe I have worked hard to succeed in the class I took and earned the credit. That’s just my belief though, and I know the university most likely only sees dollar signs going away if they approve the equivalency credit. </p>

<p>I’m hoping for the best anyway though. Thanks everyone for the words of advice, it is much appreciated.</p>

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<p>Transfer- it will get better and you WILL make friends- you seem like a nice person!</p>

<p>Try to keep in mind that it’s not just the dollar signs- even if that’s how you feel right now. When this university gives you a degree, they are stating that you have met all the requirements for a Bachelor’s in your field. They can’t possibly be responsible for quality control of every single course at every single college in the US- so for a class which is a requirement for your major and degree program, they are much less likely to want you to take the CC class in lieu of a university class (I’m not suggesting that you did not fulfill the requirements in any way).</p>

<p>I think if you let your adviser know that you’d be willing to take a harder version of this class or a more advanced type of course instead, that will position you as someone trying to get the most out of your education, and not someone cutting corners. That might help your case.</p>

<p>Good luck!!!</p>

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<p>I think your situation is very typical and would happen at many 4 year rigorous colleges. There is a reason that classes are 300-400 level. These are the classes that count towards a major and are upper level and usually difficult classes. Classes at the 100-200 level usually will transfer as general education requirements, or in some cases pre requisites, but rarely will a college accept that in place of a 300-400 level class. </p>

<p>When your college issues you a diploma, what that stands for is that you have completed what that college considers to be the classes necessary to earn that degree. If other classes are easily substituted, then that changes the significance of that degree. </p>

<p>It isn’t unusual that sometimes some classes are lost when transferring from 2 year to 4 year colleges. There are also other changes here: going from a smaller college to a larger one and also transitioning from a 2 year college to a 4 year one. By junior year, most students are expected to be very independent. Their academic adviser, the one who they usually see when arranging their schedule, really is there to see that they are on track for graduation and are taking the classes that will keep them on track. Students may not have a lot of contact with this adviser outside of scheduling. </p>

<p>This doesn’t mean they are on their own with no advice. However, they need to take responsibility for seeking out that advice. What typically happens is that as students advance in their major, they take a class with a professor they like and ask him/her to be an adviser or mentor or seek out a professor in that major to advise them on things like what graduate schools to apply to or questions related to their topic of interest. That adviser would know them better than the one who looks at their schedule of classes. Academic advice can also be found through other students in various clubs, such as pre-professional clubs, debate club and more. Most colleges have a counseling center for personal concerns, a career center, and tutoring centers. However, the student needs to access them- it isn’t likely that someone will reach out and lead you there, but you have the info for how to find them.</p>

<p>Also join clubs for fun and to meet people. Think of what is important to you- music, the arts, politics, debate, your religion- and then find a club that has members that share that.</p>

<p>Consider also that you are here because you have achieved the goal of attending a 4 year college. It is different,perhaps more expensive, farther from home- out of your comfort zone for now. Your first response might be to want to go back but you can move forward, and one day you will have that degree you are working for. Now, take the first step to adjust- I suggest counseling. They will refer you to other campus resources too.</p>

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Hey everyone… Just wanted to give an update, in case anyone was wondering. I ended up sticking through the semester and got a 3.0. It was alright, had an okay experience, and a nice winter break. Now I’m back at school, and thinking about leaving again.

I planned out all of the courses I need to take in order for graduation, and will have to do 17 hours per semester at minimum in order to graduate in the spring of 2016. That’s if everything goes according to plan, and also dependent on if they are willing to work with me on some of the general education requirements. If something doesn’t work right, it would mean an extra semester. I have a paid internship lined up for this summer, but honestly all I want to do right now is go home. I feel like I’m running through an endless tunnel, and once I figure out a plan to finish on time, something else pops up and gets in the way. I feel terribly about the over $10,000 per semester my parents are spending, and just feel like I could be doing so much more with my life right now. Everyone keeps telling me to just stick it out and graduate, so I’m just not sure what to do. Thanks again for all the kind words.

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Does your school have a counseling center? If so, make an appointment. It sounds like you need to have someone who can listen to you and help you work through this.

Lots of times when students transfer, they lose credits in the reprocess and it takes longer to graduate.

Maybe if you get some counseling help, your mind will be at more ease.

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Yeah they do, I just feel like I don’t really need counseling. I know exactly what is making me feel how I feel, just not a solution to the problem. I don’t think a counselor will be able to fix it. I think I can say honestly that if I knew what I do now about a year ago, I wouldn’t have even given coming here a second thought.

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Transfer, trust me, go see a counselor. I don’t know you in real life, but even from a couple of posts, you seem to be trying to sabotage yourself in getting your degree. You’ve got a plan to graduate either next spring or end of summer- fantastic. If you bail now, you may or may not get your degree- but it certainly won’t be by Spring 2016. Another institution is going to look at the two colleges you’ve already attended and require still MORE do-overs or questions around which pre-req’s you’ve fulfilled or not.

Unless this is bankrupting your family, stick it out. See a counselor- they’re not there to figure out why you feel what you feel, they are there to help you develop strategies to either fix your problem or feel better about stuff that makes you feel lousy. You’ve got a paid internship- fantastic. You’re on track to graduate- fantastic. Put your nose to the grindstone and figure out a way to feel more connected to your college which will help your homesickness.

If you were flunking out- I’d have different advice. But you’ve got a solid B average and are on track to graduate. Stick it out and then you can figure out your next move… if you leave now, you’ve got half a degree and then STILL need to come up with a plan.

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Those are very good points you make there, Blossom. You’re right, if I quit now, I definitely won’t make it on time or possibly at all. Maybe a counselor would help, I’ll have to look into it.

What really bothers me though is that there seems to be nobody in the administration who cares about student success. Any time I’ve tried talking with my academic adviser or even people in the department of the program I want to be in, nobody seems to care to help me. I’m not asking them to move mountains either, I just want to know what I need to do to complete the program.