So, you’re a parent who gets bad news on March 10. Your extremely capable, high-achieving child has been shut out in the “Top School” sweepstakes. But “how can that be?” you ask yourself (and anyone else who will listen). “After all, my kid’s scores and grades were above the school averages!”
Having been the recipient of both good news and bad on March 10, I can say I know how you feel.
We’re dealing here, of course, with the mystery of “holistic” admissions. Please understand that I’m not trying to justify the concept of holistic admissions–well, maybe a little. Rather, I’m trying to offer some modest insight into this controversial scheme. What I relate here is not the whole story on admissions, but I’m hoping it will be helpful (and even consoling) to some of you. Admission decisions are not always clear-cut, and obviously some waitlisted applicants will just barely miss out–so what I have to offer may not apply to everyone.
The answer to your agonized question begins with an understanding of what high grades and scores can and cannot do. They can put you in the running; they cannot guarantee admission. Of course, every application is unique, but it’s pretty clear that once an applicant’s grades and scores exceed the numerical cut-offs, other factors take precedence.
High grades and scores primarily indicate that an applicant is “good at doing school”–but they don’t necessarily indicate what an individual will accomplish after schooling is completed. It seems that Top Schools are particularly interested in those applicants who are likely to make the biggest “splash” as adults–the ones who are destined to do big things, leave their mark on the world, and bring honor and glory (and big donations) to their alma mater.
These future movers and shakers are not necessarily the kids who are the best at doing school. They are, rather, kids with a certain something extra that cannot be quantified, but that admissions people believe they can spot. I won’t even try to put a name on it, as I believe it’s essentially indefinable. Indeed, it’s one of those “you’ll know it when you see it” things. I sense, however, that it’s all about temperament, or as Lawrenceville puts it, the “non-cognitive personality traits [that] are among the most important and reliable predictors of success and achievement.” (Lawrenceville 20 / 20: A Strategic Plan for Lawrenceville School, p.4.)
I have two children, five years apart. My firstborn is bright and engaging, and I did my best to help this child present as Top School material. And while I didn’t have an adequate understanding of boarding schools or the admissions game, it wouldn’t have made any difference if I did. Decision: waitlisted. And it’s a good thing, as I am convinced that this free-spirited child would have been miserable at a Top School.
My second child, a hyperenergetic hotshot, didn’t need any help. In fact, I couldn’t have compromised this kid’s admission prospects if I tried. Decision: admitted to Top Schools.
Both of my kids are smart and accomplished, yet they have very different personalities. Only one of them is what I would call “normal”–namely, the one who was waitlisted. The other kid, the one who was admitted, is…well…I don’t know what. All I know for sure is that whatever this kid has, the Top Schools wanted it.
The lesson I took away from this is that admission staffs see a lot of kids and they know what they’re looking for. They know what sort of kids will be most likely to thrive within their own particular Top School environment. So, please don’t be too quick to rail against the schools that deny your child. Those schools might just be doing you and your child a favor.
Good luck to all on March 10!
