@DonFefe, thank you for taking the time to post this! It both gives me some hope, based on the rapport that my DS seemed to have with interviewers and the reactions he received, and also highlights that results are unpredictable and the AOs really are in the best position to judge the kids who will best fit within the school. We’ve managed to go about a full day without talking about secondary school at all at home, but a few days ago my (freaking out) DS asked if I thought he “deserved” to go to the schools to which he applied. (Fortunately he is not at all over confident.) I told him he certainly does (and he’s within the applicable stats for those schools), and if he doesn’t get accepted it’s due to numbers and their determination that it just wasn’t the best fit for him. We may both have a huge disappointment on Friday, but it will be good to keep in mind that there are a lot of – perhaps mostly – intangibles in play.
@laenen Definitely the interview assessments were based on my kid’s perception, and I tend to think that my kid was better at discerning the bad interview (we got a lot of specific detail from the kid about the experience which supports the notion that the interview was indeed awful). But the kid did have 7 interview experiences to compare which probably helped in more accurately figuring out which ones went better or worse than the others.
I am an independent contractor, I have had a lot of interviews. I know I have come out of job interviews thinking I bombed them and got the job. I have always found them a tough to read but maybe that is just me.
I am one who fiercely believes in self determination. I do not at all believe that AO’s get it right every time. Outside of the outliers, misfits, and quality candidates who aren’t right for the school, they are engaging in a guessing game between very comparable kids. To say “it wasn’t meant to be” cedes control of our situation. Of the schools my son applied to, he loved one, liked two others, and didn’t feel comfortable at the 4th. If one of his top three declines him admission it is their loss - he would have contributed greatly to their community. But there won’t be any tears shed over it. For every door that closes, two more open.
One of my colleagues just told me a very relevant anecdote about her son. He is now at a top university and his winning college essay was all about being rejected from a HS program!
@korab1 and @atria, I absolutely agree that not all recommenders are created equal! But applicants get 3, 4 or more bites at the apple including at least one which the applicant chooses. I also agree that kids coming from smaller schools and/or with less-stressed teachers have a better shot at a thoughtful and insightful recommendation, and that AO’s somehow (hopefully) account for variability in the recommendations as they do with grades, curricula etc. However, consider that if an applicant is coming from an enormous school where many kids are just numbers but the applicant has managed to make a huge impression on one or more teachers, that should speak volumes about the applicant. Also, like all the subjective factors considered by schools, I think that very good recommendations can help an applicant much more than a rote recommendation can hurt an applicant.
I think that the holistic admissions process means that it’s a lot less about what hurts or weakens your application and much more about how much about you (which gets conveyed to the AO’s!) helps or strengthens your application. SSAT scores and grades which are far below the school average, and recommendations which raise a reg flag about your character, may very well make your application DOA. But assuming the absence of those issues, everything else builds up your profile, and to get in you need the AO’s to see a robust profile. Diversity factors, legacy, development interest and athletic prowess are strong additions to the profile (again, the absence of these is not something which “hurts” you, these are just factors which won’t be able to help you). And then you add meaningful and interesting EC’s (and we all know that not all EC experiences are created equal either even if they go by the same name), unique experiences/perspectives, soft skills as have been referenced recently on another thread, and your personality and character. It’s hard to guess how AO’s identify that “je ne sais quoi” referenced above, but I still think that the recommendations are a factor that may matter much more than is often thought, particularly with regard to soft skills, personality and character.
I think at the end of the day there is probably around 40%+ of the accepted applicants that could be swapped out by someone on the wait list and there would be no change to the culture or the academic standing of the school.
I think there is a certain randomness.
@laenen that sounds right to me too.
As for my kid’s bad interview, I wish I could share the details to provide a better illustration. Suffice it to say that if my kid was mostly accurate about what was said by the AO, the interview really did not go very well.
When it comes to interviews, the only opinion as to whether it was good or bad belongs to the one conducting the interview.
Some kids are very poised, mature, and comfortable conversing with adults. The vast majority are not. And the interview situation is nerve-wracking for most kids. It takes A LOT for an AO to consider one of these “a bad interview”.
One of the great benefits of BS is how the kids do gain social skills and are able to hold their own in discussions with adults, especially those in positions of authority. This is a real advantage when they are doing college (and summer job) interviews!
Right. but when I had interviews, it felt that all other kids in the waiting room were the former, and only mine was the latter.
I doubt interviews carry that much weight unless there are some huge red flags. No school wants a class full of over-confident extroverts, right? They want a mix. They also want the quiet leader who inspires peers but doesn’t hog the credit… and the kid who will mediate a conflict between friends or cliques before it turns into an all-out feud… And the problem-solver who is quick to step in to do the less glamorous work if needed… and the one who never, ever gives up… a mix.
@CaliMex: I absolutely agree! It takes all kinds to fill a class.
I think interviews matter a lot, actually. But I do think most admissions officers are professional and experienced enough to factor in different applicants’ personalities and not look for all one type of student.
Good interviewers are able to relate to kids and make them feel comfortable and draw them out. They don’t expect a 13/14 year old to interview in the same way an adult would in a job interview. They do enough of these interviews to account for stylistic differences between the kids. Too polished can come off as too rehearsed, which isn’t favorable either.
One of my kids had a very lackluster interview at Andover some years back. We as parents felt the same way about the guy when it was our turn to talk to him. The downside was that this interviewer would have been a coach for my kid as well. Kid was not impressed. Andover came off the application list based on that experience. Comparing notes with some other applicant families afterwards, we weren’t alone in our impression. This person is no longer employed by the school.
If you read the final Stats/EC threads there are numerous examples of supposedly stellar interview experiences nevertheless ending with rejections and lackluster or awkward interviews nevertheless resulting in acceptance letters…
Yup because 1) a good interview isn’t enough and other factors weigh in as well and 2) people aren’t the best at judging their own interview performances and what the AOs are looking for in those interviews.
Some people are so positive about themselves they think every thing they do smells like roses. 
Others are harsh critics of their own performance.
You see it all the time here on CC especially if you look at the college threads. Everybody comments on how great their essays are. Not everyone can be writing great essays.
Plus, it’s not so much how you say things - polished or not - but WHAT one says in an interview that matters.
@CaliMex – I would say that 13 or 14 year old may not be able to accurately judge how well the interview went.
Being pleasant and looking directly into an interviewers eyes doesn’t necessary equate to an extrovert. I think it reflects on a genuine kindness and confidence. In my opinion, a school would want 100% of kids with these qualities.
Looking directly into someone’s eyes might be tough for a kid on the spectrum, who might otherwise be a Nobel prize winner in the making?
Are there a lot of schools that take someone on the spectrum? Being in software, I know a lot of people on the spectrum so I can easily recognize them. In all my tours, I did not run into one child that wasn’t engaging.
On an ancillary note, I also noticed that kids are generally better looking and in better shape than public school.
These are BOARDING schools for young people. Sure, the schools want smart kids but, first and foremost, they want kids that they think have a high likelihood of surviving in an independent, rigorous atmosphere for 4 years. That is actually more important than scouting future Nobel Prize winners.