The spectrum is broad. I would hope that there are schools that do welcome and support students who are on the spectrum, as long as they can handle the academics and life at school. They may have lots of gifts to contribute and it would be a disservice to their neurotypical peers to exclude them.
@CaliMex: You’ve brought up a very interesting point here, another type of diversity. I do think the typical boarding schools tend to put a premium on kids with outgoing, engaging personalities, willing to take some risks and step out of their comfort zone in trying new things. Certainly there are some shy kids as well, but the community fit is very important – the social aspect of BS life is huge. I think boarding at a prep school is challenging for really shy kids, and I imagine if an ASD kid really struggles with social and/or communication skills, it would be even tougher for them.
The spectrum is so broad, it is very hard to generalize…
@DonFefe --I have to keep rereading your post. I’ve looked at the 2021 stats/ECs and am trying to figure out in my head why…why was a kid with extremely high SSAT, SAT, and PSAT scores, a 4.0 GPA who plays multiple sports well and…I have to say it, hope I don’t offend anyone, is an URM get passed over at so many schools? He is introverted but worked hard at his interview skills & was complemented by many interviewers regarding his thoughtfulness and humor. I heard “we had a great conversation” to the point of utter surprise. He wrote numerous notes of thanks and with additional questions, when applicable. I just keep rereading your thoughts and reminding myself everything happens for a reason and we are happy with the one school that accepted him…but have to bolster myself because child #2 keeps saying they are going to boarding school, and not nearly as qualified nor motivated to work as hard to get there…so I may be referring back to this a lot in the future…hmmm, maybe I should paint it on the bedroom wall. Lol
@buuzn03. Hi! I’ll pm you on this. Talk to you soon.
@buuzn03 FWIW - your post #43 could be describing my son as well - and he also ended up with a single acceptance.
@HMom16 – it’s so strange isn’t it? Or maybe it’s not…and we are the strange ones. I’m still going through the entire processing phase, I guess. And I’m somewhat analytical, so I feel I must dissect and make sense of it all…
@buuzn03 This described my son as well. He did not have a 4.0 but did have very high grades overall and scored very well on the SAT in 7th grade.
@queenmother so interesting–makes you wonder what they want indeed…and you watch–child #2 who doesn’t quite have the drive or accomplishments but has all of the mouth and drama (don’t get me wrong, love love love this child) will not have one rejection. :))
@buuzn03 that could very well be the case for child #2!
@buuzn03 Both my kids at age 13 had top scores, excellent grades, obvious talents, could carry on a conversation with adults, and were tall and good-looking (still are 
), etc., etc. Indeed, I would venture to say that on paper and in person they outshone many, if not most, of the kids now wallowing in self-congratulation on the stats/EC thread and elsewhere. They did not get any first-round acceptances. They were lucky enough to eventually end up at a wonderful school, where they not only thrive but also excel beyond most students admitted ahead of them, not just at their school but at all schools. I say this not only for the pleasure of bragging about my children, but because they are obvious proof that admissions decisions do not always correlate with the factors that applicants always discuss and that many students who aren’t admitted are just as likely to be happy and successful in boarding school as those who are. Good schools get many more applicants than they need. They can pick and choose based on all kinds of factors to which we are not privy, and there’s not a darn thing applicants can do except hope for the best.
As I’ve mentioned before in other posts, Admission decisions are bewildering at best especially the first time around until you look at it the same way as elite college admissions. Having gone thru prep school apps twice and college admissions twice, I can say there is no mystery. BSs are putting together a class. They want students from every state (geodiversity), a class that is multicultural and multiracial (diversity), kids that elite colleges are courting (first gen), and kids who will fill their voracious athletic machines/teams and finaly they have legacy need to admit to continue to elicit alumni funding, and full pay students to help pay for low income students. It’s not all about GPA, high test scores and “passion” for ECs. If you look at only this narrow vision, you have trouble understanding why some smart, nice students are passed over. You have to have great grades and standardized scores, but that only opens the door, it doesn’t get you through it unless you check one of these other boxes.
^^ I wish “charisma” was a main factor. Truth is, most high achieving kids have it. The “holistic” approach captures what I describe above.
@preppedparent checking only one box probably isn’t enough. The more boxes you can check, the more roles you can fill on a campus, especially at a small school, the greater your chances. Play multiple sports at a varsity level, play an instrument or sing in the choir, and have interests in clubs. That will get you closer.
I disagree that charisma is so common, and they aren’t able to fake it well enough yet to fool anyone to whom they aren’t related.
I agree that the more boxes an applicant can check, the better. College will often pick “pointy” students but at 14 years of age, well-rounded is a good thing.
^^@Korab1 agree. The more boxes you check, the better your chances. My main point is that you gotta check some or at least one of them besides good grades, ECs and standardized test scores. Lots of people don’t understand why their student was passed over because they had competitive GPAs and Scores. I am trying to point out the other “boxes” you need to check.
I think that’s why I’m still a bit perplexed–he checked so many boxes, multiple sports, plays two instruments, debate, chess, grades, scores, minority, from the South, per interviewers a great conversationalist with maturity and humor…which is why reading the origin of this thread & hearing from many parents who’ve experienced the same mind-boggling thing is therapeutic. And again why I am convinced younger sibling will probably have a completely different outcome. They are polar opposites! I am more like my firstborn, though, so I may be taking it a bit more personally than I otherwise would and much more than I should, I know.
@buuzn03, it could make more sense if he needs FA. Because it is uphill battle for anyone who needs FA without being directly recruited into a varsity team.
^^recruited athlete is not the same as play 2 sports. Plays two instruments is not the same as first chair or won lots of competitions, minority --URM? if so, yes. from the South, yes (geodiversity). He has a couple.
@preppedparent good to know that not winning competitions for band and not being a recruited athlete are not considered checking boxes…I was under the impression that they wanted kids who did many things and were well-rounded versus just spending all their time studying for their scores & grades. He is URM but I guess other than that, he’s just another smart kid…which I’ll tuck into my memory banks when I apparently have to do this again 4 years down the road…see? Live and learn. We are BS virgins and continue to learn as we go.