So the school we got rejected from accepted a student in our (11th) grade who requested FA but the school offered no money with the acceptance. That leads me to believe that they truly are need blind, and that we were not admissible or we could have received an acceptance with no FA as well. Getting rejected is tough, but I believe that “If the door is not open, it’s not your door.” We are going to visit the school that accepted us with no FA as we couldn’t visit before applying, but based on their website, the Skype interview, and the communications we have had with them so far I believe that this school will be a great fit. Just have to figure out how to pay for it 
@corrales90 “If the door is not open, it’s not your door.”-- I love that. Congrats to your DC!
@buuzn03 I saw that you made reference to reading the stats thread. I think those posts need to be read with lots of salt as the information provided may be incomplete and/or inaccurate for whatever reason. In particular folks may omit/change information to protect their privacy. It’s also a very small sample of the BS applicant pool.
@AppleNotFar , thanks, I actually used the stats to point out to my DC that even kids with ‘perfect’ stats and ecs were rejected - I didn’t want my kiddo to feel that they were rejected because they weren’t smart enough, or good enough.
Not to take anything away from my son, but I think there are definitely some advantages we had from being here in NE, despite being overrepresented in the applicant pool (and, of course, my son was applying to schools in the “second tier” – or whatever – category). First, our school is a known quantity – a small, reputable school; kids who go to BS or other independent schools are known to be well-prepared, emotionally mature and successful. Second, our placement director (an advantage in itself) has personal relationships with many ADs and is extremely knowledgeable about the schools. He can advise up front about fit, etc. (and does advise against schools when he feels appropriate), and also advocates for the kids. Third, besides just being able to visit schools easily (starting in 7th grade), being fairly close made it easier for my son to build relationships early on, so that by the time he was on campus, they knew who he was, and he was pretty familiar with the schools. This was by going to open houses, contacting coaches and going to games, meeting ADs at admissions events, and just visiting multiple times and having the opportunity to personally express his interest
I think that given that he was applying to small schools, it’s important that they really know the kids they are accepting, If he wasn’t going to be a good fit for the school, they would have known that too. He’s by no means a stellar student, and his SSATs were mediocre, but I think that being closer geographically and having a lot of contact with schools gave him a better opportunity for the intangibles to come through. At a HADES or similar school, he may be invisible, but at the smaller, less prestigious schools where he applied, I think he was able to make an impression.
The only school that has an explicit need blind policy is Andover and it’s a " lottery school".
@CTMom21 you make some really good points here. The advantage of going to a private school or a JBS where kids are raised to go to boarding school and have guidance on how to do so from an early age cannot be understated. The ability you describe to visit the schools repeatedly, attend their admission events and meet with admission advisors well before the application process begins has to be a major advantage. A placement director who can help guide the application process and advocate on your behalf with schools? What an advantage! And I am sure going to a known quantity school where the schools have a comfort level and familiarity with students is also a major advantage.
Imagine the poor kids from the sticks in those over represented states with none of these advantages at all. All they have are good test scores and good grades from a LPS that the boarding school has never heard of. Maybe they are full pay and maybe they aren’t, but they are a total unknown nonetheless. Their appications aren’t massaged by counselors, their essays aren’t edited by a writing instructor. It’s amazing that any of them get in at all.
How remarkable do they have to be in order gain the interest of a top tier school and cause them to take a chance in such a kid?
@Korab1 – I totally agree. It’s our NE insularity in microcosm. I will also say that the independent school/BS world feeds itself. If we lived elsewhere, we may or may not have gone the private school route to begin with, but I seriously doubt that BS would have been a consideration. While it’s by no means the norm, the schools are familiar and at least geographically accessible. There’s some conception that you’re sending your kid to BS to get rid of him, but it’s not universal
@panpacific I’ve never heard the term “lottery school”–what does that mean?
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Nope. Don’t kid yourself thinking FA is the biggest factor. There are plenty of families who can full pay turned down every year with stellar credentials. You have to check the boxes folks. Schools are putting together a diverse class. Full pay is a small piece for many of these elite BSs with big endowments.
A lot of them like kids who need full FA. These are the kids that top colleges/ivies want to give opportunities to. There is as big a sector of these kids balanced out by kids who are full pay.
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If it were that easy. As I mentioned before, its not mostly about grades and scores. If it were, the BS would put everyone on a spread sheet. The “holistic” approach for BS as in colleges allows schools to pick and choose who to give the opportunity to. IMHO, its all about diversity (many ways to define). Poor, well-off, first gen, multicultural, geo etc.
Feel like you have won the lottery when you get in…Code word for selective, holistic, and “mysterious”. @AppleNotFar
I disagree that going to a known private is some HUGE advantage. I think the biggest advantage is the BSs know your kid has been adequately prepared and can do the work. However, admissions reps know that that child had the advantage of SSAT test prep at the school and guidance from a placement counselor. They take that into consideration when reading the application. When reading the app of a student applying from somewhere unknown, they will know that student hasn’t benefited from that polish. The AdComs aren’t dumb and they want to build a diverse class. Just like BSs are quite the feeder they once were to Ivies, the same holds true for kids going from New England private schools into BS. There are only so many slots available. Boarding school have a fairly standardized ratio of public/private student admissions each year. I doubt it varies more than a few percent year to year but I’m fairly certain it has declined in the past 2 decades.
Additionally, if you are coming from a private school, you are competing with all your classmates. Deerfield or Groton isn’t going to take 20 kids from Fay, Fenn, or Cardigan Mountain School. That placement counselor is going to push the kids she/he thinks are strongest to the more selective schools which might disadvantage and limit your child if they don’t fall into that top quartile.
Not everyone has to be a super star at every level to get into BS, even the most selective. On another thread today, someone posted about the range of math courses offered for incoming freshman, from Algebra to Calculus. All the top schools offer that range which speaks to the fact that they don’t expect all students to come in at the same level and the same amount of preparation.
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Yes and No. I’d look at it from a different vantage point. But you highlight a great issue. There are lots of “feeder” schools to the elite BSs and colleges. So for college, its well known in the Boston area that BB&N (day school) in Cambridge is a feeder school for Harvard. So is Milton. There are high schools with relationships and ties to the ivies, albeit diminishing. Choate just hired Yale’s staff to head its Admissions Office, I believe banking that the staff will bring more than just diversity to their community–another inroad to Yale.
Same thing with BSs. My friend in Andover sent his kids early on to elementary schools that had a pipeline connection to Andover. Of course, the kids have to produce, but if they do, there’s a better than even chance of admission to Andover. It’s not all about “guidance,” but rather established relationships between school and BSs. I believe Deerfield has strong relationships with some JBSs in their area, and take a large group each year from those.
You all make really great points…I’m always thankful for your wisdom, even if the smack in the face can sting sometimes lol. It is so enlightening to hear from completely different backgrounds, areas, experiences. @Korab1 I had no idea the extent of our disadvantage being from “the sticks” where even teachers question why I’d send my son away (and then they go write his recommendation letter). There are so many things I’d do differently if I could, knowing what I know now. But despite our mistakes and geographic disadvantage, our door did open; thankfully, we are skipping through in a few months excited for what’s on the other side! Next time around, I will use what I’ve learned and hope that kid2 results are better. I know by raising the questions I do, I may seem like I’m not happy with the actual result, but believe me, DS did end up with the right fit and we are thrilled. Actually, if he had had choices, it’s likely I may have screwed that up for him, as well. Lol
^^^@buuzn03 I think you represent the majority of us first timers who were surprised that great grades and scores and passions for ECs don’t get our kids into the top BSs. I mean, that’s the American dream, right? I think we all understood that at one time these were places for only the “privileged,” but we thought that the playing field was evened, and that grades, standardized test scores and passions evened the playing field. But guess again. Those who say their kids were lucky, that may be so, but its not great consolation to those of us who are so unlucky in the Admissions Game. It’s still an unlevel playing field, and BSs like great colleges are trying to figure out who to give the opportunity to. We have to keep supporting our kids. Unfortunately, it begins with hard work, but that alone will lead to disappointment. They can’t change the talents they were given or the way they look or whether their parents worked their way through college.
The key I believe is trying to understand your kids’ unique strengths, and have him or her articulate how they will contribute to a community of sharers and carers wanting to reach out and make the world a better place for everyone.
"I had no idea the extent of our disadvantage being from “the sticks” "
IMO, I don’t think it is a huge disadvantage.
I do think, however, that some things like URM aren’t as big a boost as people think they are, unless you are talking Native American which is still very rare. Through the internet, and their own marketing efforts, these schools are drawing from every corner in ways they weren’t in the past.
@buuzn03 I think I remember reading you are from TX. If so, TX isn’t that underrepresented compared to states like WY, AK, MT, just on sheer population size.
Very well said @preppedparent !
@buuzn03: When you apply for FA, your student’s app goes into the FA pile, and you’ve automatically reduced the chances of admission. Applying for FA just to see if you’ll get some is a bad strategy, especially if your EFC indicates that you do not need it. If it is possible for you to be full pay, every school expects you to do so, but not every school will move an FA application to the FP pile unless you call ahead of time to move it there.
This is a subject that still stings me a bit. We applied for FA because we couldn’t see how we could swing it without some help, but our EFC came back indicating that we could be full pay. Both Choate and NMH called us prior to M10 saying that they would like to admit our son if we could be FP. (We didn’t feel we could but that is another story that I’ve posted about here several times.) From what I’ve read here over the years, not every school will do that, so you should NOT apply for FA if there is any way you can avoid it. But you also need to understand if you apply and your child is accepted FP, you are expected to be FP the entire time your child attends barring some unforeseen disaster that occurs after matriculation.
^^^@doschicos. Take a look at Pomona College’s new Class 2021 admit stats. >60% students of color. yes, URM is still a big advantage in many elite college admission decisions.
Thanks to @DonFefe for starting this all. You must have hit a raw nerve with me. haha. Thankful though I am through the hurdles of elite prep school and elite college admissions as of 2016, and now onto elite graduate programs with my 2. Yes, they are in the drivers’ seat, but us parents still go along for the ride.