Our dd’s sophomore yr was a roller coaster. She would wake up extremely tired and have to crawl back into bed; she was sick repeatedly and suffered from massive headaches, and the list goes on. The first 2 weeks of May left her so sick that she couldn’t even sit up by herself. Unfortunately, we now know she has a chronic illness, but fortunately we know what we are really dealing with–Lupus.
We are both whirling a bit from the diagnosis. It is hard to project what her long-term health is going to look like. She might get her flares under control and move forward with life more normal, or not. She was originally focusing on a college 28 hrs away. Now she is terrified of thinking about any college other than the local one.
My goal for her for next yr is to lower her stress and focus on her health. We homeschool which is a huge blessing bc we can shift gears. She was going to DE for cal and history. Now she is going to do them at home. She will continue French and Russian with her private tutors, but she dropping Latin. (She was doing all 3 at a high level. It is a huge time commitment and she is having a hard time focusing and shifting gears.). Since French and Russian are her primary loves, she will do those every day along with lit/comp, but we are going to put her other classes into a quarter system schedule so she doesn’t have to shift gears so much.
I’m not sure what my actual question is. 
She is a super strong student when she is healthy. Globally stronger than her brother who is the physics/math geek. But, she was so tired and having difficulty coping this yr that all of her ECs were dropped or subdued. I don’t want her stressing over test scores this upcoming yr (and merit $$ is the way our kids typically fund tuition.) She has scores from middle school that she can use for admittance to the local school w/o a problem. Focus and energy are overwhelming issues. At this point, there is now way she can focus for 3+ solid hours and perform at her real level.
But, the local school will completely limit her. Her goal before high school graduation is to be fluent in French and performing at a high level in Russian. Both are attainable even though she has been and is sick. (Her tutors both think she is amazing.) The local university just doesn’t offer programs that advance to that high of a level. But, we can afford it without difficulty and we can keep her stress level low.
I guess I am just commiserating here bc I just want to be a cheering section in our home. I’m mourning with her inside bc I do think her goal university is no longer a good one bc it is not in the U.S. and is too far from home with a lot of overwhelming changes (severe climate difference is just one, but it is hugely different. We live where she has never really experienced winter in her entire life and there it would be winter the majority of the school yr.). Stress triggers flares. It is a real concern. Being healthy is way more important.
I hope your D starts to get her lupus under control. Are you far from your state flagship? Would they have any better support for the languages?
Very sorry to read about your daughter’s illness. Your last sentence is so right - your child’s health is much more important than where she goes to college. But, as you say, you’re both still struggling to get a fix on what this might mean. In two years, the local university may not look like the best option, and even today it is probably not the only one. What other, closer colleges might offer your d a better fit in terms of academics? I’m sure you’ll find help here to create a list of schools, much closer than 28 hours away, that have stellar academics and support for students with significant illnesses. Some of those schools may even be affiliated with hospitals that provide medical care at least as good as what she receives at home.
Nothing is carved in stone at this point. Wishing you both the best of luck!
Just a message of support. It is a huge adjustment to make when something like this happens. My son had a health crisis in 11th grade that lasted over a year and forced us to rethink everything. All of our cherished assumptions about his future had to be put aside, permanently. However, he graduated yesterday and is going to college! Not 3000 miles away to Caltech, like we were talking about after seeing his sophomore PSAT scores. He will be much closer to home and in a more supportive, less competitive academic environment. I am simply happy his health has improved enough to get him this far. Not everyone is so lucky.
“Being healthy is way more important.”
This is the only thing that matters right now.
Your daughter does not have to graduate in the spring of 2016. If she needs to go a bit more slowly while she learns to handle her medical issues, that is perfectly fine. Whenever she does finish up (fall 2016? winter 2016? sometime in 2017 or even later?) is less important than finishing well.
@mom2aphysicsgeek, I’m so sorry your family is struggling right now. But now that you know what’s wrong, you can make a new plan to take the place of the old one.
You may want to consider pushing testing off a year. My homeschooled son didn’t take the SAT until his senior year. Then he decided to take a gap year to work and figure out what he wanted to study. He retook the SAT during his gap year and used that score to apply to the school he’s attending this fall.
I wish your family well. 
Ask the college if she can defer enrollment for a year . Then you and your DD can relax and focus on her health.
Do you have local support groups for Lupus? It might be a good thing to attend these, even if you have to travel a bit or if you only can go once a month. Hopefully, your daughter’s symptoms can be managed and she can feel better soon. I do know a few people with lupus who have been living with it for many decades and even though it is not very known in general it can be managed well.
Alle the best!
Thank you for the support and thoughtful responses. Ironically, our state flagship only offers a minor in Russian while our local university does offer it as a major. No in-state university offers linguistics which is what she was also considering.
I hadn’t thought about a lupus support group. I will look into that for her.
I’ll share all of your other suggestions with her. Right now I think she is just overwhelmed with the idea that this is real. I just needed a place to vent for her so I can just be supportive with her.