A friend recently told me I was beautiful (we are both female and this was in a social setting), that was a compliment to me.
In a business setting that same thing would come across to me as creepy.
I think it’s best to not compliment on someone’s appearance in the workplace. At all.
I agree best for HR to handle. But these days centralized HR can be far away. Heck, my own manager was in Europe and my “US manager” was 2000 miles away. I assume though that new employees had local managers.
“I think it’s best to not compliment on someone’s appearance in the workplace. At all.”
This is the smartest thing. You are correct.
What was deemed as norms (it wasn’t right but it was tolerated) - no longer could be.
Is it worth losing a career, income, livelihood, etc. just for telling someone he or she are hot?
Has society gotten too sensitive? Or was it never right to begin with…perhaps both.
But you have to look at the person you are commenting to…what is ok to you or your neighbor may not be ok to him and/or her…why take that chance and find yourself unemployed?
It makes me wonder if I’ve made someone feel uncomfortable or come off as creepy - hope not. But for the last 5 years I’m 100% business all the time. Otherwise, you bring risk to being able to afford your kid’s tuition (to tie it back to the CC website).
As a man and a business owner, I would never comment to women in my employ or in any professional setting about how they look or dress and have never done so.
That said, there are times I would have liked to do so. I began my career as a 26 or 27 yo professor at a prestigious business school just at the time when professors were starting to be fired for sexual harassment and I remember being very, very careful about all of my interactions with female students. Many of the students were my age and in my first year of teaching, I was told by a female second-year student that a significant percentage of my female students had a crush on me, which manifested itself in a variety of ways. I left the door to my office open and had my assistant walk in periodically during office hours. I wish I could have commented on dress at times (“Could you please button a couple more buttons on your shirt and stop leaning over on the table?”) but it seemed a lot safer to say nothing.
When is a compliment not a compliment…
Wow you look like you have lost a ton of weight, how much more are you shooting for?
In the workplace I don’t comment on others’ appearance, clothing, hair…nothing, at least not to the people I supervise. I am female and the majority of my direct reports are male. I do not want anything to be misconstrued and any sort of power differential to come in to play. I do sometimes compliment my (female) boss’s shoes or handbags (she has great taste in accessories) but I never comment on anything to my other (male) boss.
I think we’ve lost something small (how great a genuine compliment feels) but gained something huge (workplace harassment deemed unacceptable).
Maybe people should give more compliments outside of the workplace to make up for the loss 
And maybe more compliments on work stuff (thoughts in your head but not mentioned) Examples…
“Thanks for asking those insightful questions at the meeting”
“You did a great job on that presentation, especially with the short notice”
“Your clear and concise chart really helped me understand the situation better”.
“I was able to relax on vacation knowing your were my backup”
etc etc.
We used to spend more time at work than at home before covid. I am friendly with a lot of my colleagues. It’s fairly normal for me to comment on my colleagues’ new hair cut (hey, nice cut), new outfit, shoes, etc, and that would include male/female. Sometimes at our daily standup, I would ask people what they were doing over the weekend. Some young people may say more about what they were doing and I would tease them a bit. At the same time, because I am more senior than others at work I do avoid to be alone with colleagues socially.
I personally do not mind when people at work compliment me on my appearance, as long as there is no sexual connotation. Sometimes when I do hear someone making an inappropriate comment (to me or to other people) I would say, “Hey, let’s stick with shoes.” 
I do compliment people & like to be complimented, though usually it is women complimenting women in my workplace. I hate if no one notices a new haircut, etc. However, I did hear you all in my head today when I (without thinking) said to our finance director (a woman about my own age or slightly older) “are you blonder today than you were last week?” - she laughed & said, no, maybe grayer, and I followed it up with your hair looks great (it did), she made a comment about blondes having more fun, & we moved on. I probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought had it not been for this conversation.
Compliment people at work for what they do, not what they look like. Leave the appearance compliments for friends and family.
@Juno16 , sounds light enough and friendly. I do think it matters how well you know the person. I hear you, though, on thinking about it afterwards. Personally, I appreciate being aware in these situations but also regret the level of self-consciousness that has been introduced.
Complimenting a woman on her personal appearance in a business setting gives a quasi social feel to what should be a professional work setting, undermines her status (sometimes intentionally) as a professional, and tips the balance of power to the person who’s judged her appearance and given their approval. We’re not there for decoration. Compliments to professional colleagues should focus on their work performance.
Complimenting friends in a social setting is different. I never comment on particulars though (especially weight). I may tell a friend they look great today and let them attribute that to whatever they want. If people compliment me I say thank you. I wouldn’t mind if one of our male friends paid me a general compliment like ‘you look great,’ but if you’re male and I’m not dating you or married to you I can’t imagine why you’d get more specific than that. Commenting on how sexy my dress is or how beautiful my eyes are suggests an intimacy that doesn’t exist and I wouldn’t be flattered. I don’t like European greetings either, and it has nothing to do with how comfortable I am with myself. The only opinions that matter are my own, and the only compliments I’m interested in are my husband’s.
A wolf whistle is never a compliment. If I hear one I keep my eyes forward and keep walking.
I can’t remember the exact wording, but when I worked for a, “Big 8” accounting firm in the mid- to late-80s, I distinctly remember a question or two on our annual evaluations about our dress/appearance. They were among MANY question, of course, and most were obviously about work skills, knowledge, efficiency, etc. But, one’s appearance was not ignored.
I get that is different than an outright compliment, but to be graded 1 - 5 on appearance was a thing back in the day. And these grades were coming from higher ups - not peers.
I imagine the appearance grade was for “professional appearance” not “personal appearance” which is what @austinmshauri wrote about.
I don’t like compliments beyond, “you look nice” or “great”, etc. It’s very judgy. I don’t like judginess. Don’t like beauty contests either. I’d like to let my work, my effort, my outlook speak for itself.
I worked for a principal in the early 2000’s who told me that if she could, she would require all male teachers to wear a sports jacket or suit, and all female teachers would be required to wear a dress or skirt.
I was deeply offended. As if what you wear makes you a better teacher. As a chemistry teacher, I had more clothing ruined than I can count. Wearing “church clothes” would have been a wasteful expense.
Granted, I don’t advocate dressing like one is going to change to oil in your car, or going to a nightclub, but really?
Back in the day my first accounting job was at a small company. The company decided to let the managers (all male) come up with their own department specific evaluation forms. Our manager and director included an appearance rating. The staff (1 man and several women) all protested that but they would not remove it. It was degrading to be “rated” this way by the men. Even the one male on the staff level thought so.
Exactly. There was one female manager on the entire staff when I started. Another was promoted not long after, but most of the managers and ALL those above them were men.
The same can apply to many jobs with no specific functional needs* for clothing, particularly those which are not customer facing, although some employers have dressy dress codes even for such employees. (Teaching is customer facing, but students tend not to be ones who would care about teachers wearing dressy clothing or not. Maybe some parents, though.)
*E.g. for protection of the employee, others, or objects being worked on/with, or uniforms needed so that others can recognize your job function. Examples would include PPE worn by health care workers (even before COVID-19) and uniforms worn by police officers and team sport athletes.
As a chemistry teacher, wouldn’t that be appropriate clothing for lab days?
The workplace stories and policies related to appearance especially for women - are giving me all sorts of Mad Men vibes!