<p><this is=“” about=“” children=“” who=“” believe=“” it=“” owed=“”>
This is about children whos parents refuse to contribute to EFC (Expected FAMILY contribution). And my honest belief that these parents failed their children. Period.</this></p>
<p>“And my honest belief that these parents failed their children. Period.” </p>
<p>could it be possible that the children failed too? or is it just one way? or can’t children fail their parents?</p>
<p>yes, it started that way, it has now morphed. </p>
<p>I have stated that I have $$$ for my kids, but none of us know both sides and so we can’t and shouldn’t say they failed.</p>
<p>What if the child has failed to follow the family guidelines —no drugs and caught smoking pot?. Skipping school? </p>
<p>Being a parentt is not black and white, there are many shades of grey. As I said before nobody gave me a handbook when I left the hospital to judge only one side of the fact is not fair.</p>
<p>To Mlevine,
I think that you have a lot of great things going for you, all we are trying to do is help you find other ways to get to your goal. There is a great resource book it is called Cash for College, you might find that you have that 1 characteristic than can help you with a financial assistance. If you PM me I will try to assist you, book is in my lap right now</p>
<p>mle,</p>
<p>Had your first post contained the info #339 did a think impressions would be a bit different. </p>
<p>Make a spread sheet of schools/cost/aid.. lay it out and share with parents.</p>
<p>your last post sounds a great deal different than before.. focusing on a group of schools that you could be happy and afford is much more mature and sensible. Your early posts were focusing on what appeared to be one place and everything else sucked. College is what you make it, have a group of schools where you know you’ll do well, have fun and don’t look back. </p>
<p>And don’t let anybody drive your car.. did gf’s mom offer to pay for repairs?</p>
<p>She didn’t drive it. It was parked in her turn around, which is a hill. We were at a barbecue and took my girlfriend’s car. Her mom backed into my 97 Camry with her SUV and, because I had my e-brake on, causes substantial damage. My insurance company considered it totalled, and despite giving my a good amount for it, gave me nothing compared to the total amount I had spent on it. We went through insurance so her mom’s insurance went up and I got a check. It seems fair, but it wasn’t a great deal if you ask me.</p>
<p>Sadly, I just talked to my mom (who says I shouldn’t worry about the costs and that I can always deffer loans untill I can pay them…ugh) and I guess her friend’s son went to UVA and it’s extremely hard to get rescidency. They owned a house there, but he needed to own the house, live there 12 months a year, have a job there, pay taxes, vote there…he almost didn’t get in-state prices sophomore year despite the fact they owned the house for over 10 years. Looks like UVA may not be an option after all.</p>
<p>"and make less than the guy we paid to build our deck. Believe it or not carpenters and mechanics make $$$. I have stated my cousin, but also have another family member who never graduated from college, went to Devry and makes $60 an hr = 125K…not bad in my book "</p>
<p>Sadly the exception not the rule. The number of high paying blue collar jobs is a fraction of what it was post WWII when you could prosper without a high school diploma as my dad did (got it much later in life). And our litigation based educational system refuses to train skilled craftsmen in deference to the plan that all students are educated the same ..with adjustments for identified learning disabilities. Todays college degree equals 2 generations ago high school. Even then you will have to compete for jobs with grads of Indian Universities or Chinese where the cost of a degree is half of what it is here and they will do the job for half the wages or less. In my area undocumented workers build the houses and decks for less than the local carpenters, a whole other problem.</p>
<p>UVA is also very competitive, very close to a top tier school. There are scholarships out there that range from NHS to Russian immigrants to the city you are a resident. In the book I am speaking of there are over 6000 scholarships!</p>
<p>What area do you actually live in?
I have lived in 3 different states in the past 7 years. Each school district had programs in place for apprenticeships (mechanical, carpentry, landscaping, IT, etc)
It might be the areas that I lived in, and those of my family and friends, they are not complaining about fighting for a job against chinese or indian grads from other countries…yes (NY is 1 of the areas, and DC too)</p>
<p>Actually, I think most would consider UVA in the top tier. Not that I am a fan of USN&WR’s rankings, but they rated UVA as tied with Georgetown this year at #23 in the nation. It is very hard to get into UVA as an out of state student, particularly for those coming from states in New England and the Mid-Atlantic region.</p>
<p>It’s hard to get in from within the state! UVA is very strict in its’ admission process, I would put them on par or above UNC Chapel Hill</p>
<p>
Well, those schools do recognize it by accepting you. Everyone who gets in is at the top. Based on their applications numbers, plenty of kids really DO want to attend. (I’m with you, though, on searching out merit schools.)</p>
<p>Bullet: ND doesn’t give any merit aid. Only need-based.</p>
<p>Windy: Here in NJ, the city schools like Newark have the highest per pupil spending. More than double that of many suburban districts. They also have the most horrific test scores. Money is not the answer. (That’s getting off topic, I know.)</p>
<p>Mlevin… I hear what you’re saying about it being difficult, but I think you are actually quite overwhelmed with your college experience as it is and are not realizing that there ARE other options. It doesn’t sound like you are happy, so why are you putting yourself through this?? There ARE other options and you MUST drop this mentality that anything other than a name school is unworthy of your consideration. Also, your parents seem to be encouraging you to go to Bard and take on this debt. You must cut your parents out of your considerations when it comes to college, they seem to care very little so why are you still appeasing them. For 5K per year? What is that compared to 100K debt? You are an adult and can think for yourself and make decisions for yourself. The financial aspect of college seems to be troubling you a great deal, so why not take steps to ease the financial burden/debt?</p>
<p>I’m 22 and just started college this fall. I was raised in a cult and therefore have no academic record beyond what I am currently earning at Santa Monica College (an excellent community college in California) and my GED (NO HS grades because I didn’t go to any licensed HS). If I continue with my current academic achievement, I will more than likely be accepted to Berkeley as well as any other of the excellent UC and CSU schools in the state of Cali. All very respected. I just moved out here and will be paying out of state tuition for one year (will cost me about 5k for the entire year) and will then receive one year basically free at the CC before I transfer to a UC which will still be really, really cheap. If I choose to go to/get accepted at Berkeley, it is very plausible that I will graduate from Berkeley with less than 20K in debt. This with having had to move to the state and having NO HELP from my parents.</p>
<p>I have also received a letter in the mail from Columbia (School of General Studies), so transferring to an elite school outside of Cali and inside Cali is certainly possible. SMC transfers go to Cornell, Brown, etc. Not to mention USC, Pepperdine, Stanford… the in-state elites.</p>
<p>I just moved from NYC and was looking at going to Brooklyn College for about 4K/year. Also a fine school, though it certainly doesn’t have the name recognition that Berkeley has (they would have accepted me based on my GED scores). Why not live in NYC or another state where you want to go to their state school for a year until you qualify for in-state? You have 8K to move, it’s plenty to get yourself set up in a cheap room (you will have to have a roomate and may have to reply on public transport).</p>
<p>I am not receiving any support from my parents and am doing this all on my own. There are a lot of options… PLEASE don’t limit yourself to doing what everyone else does/think they should do: Attend four years of a “name brand” school right out of HS. It’s an extremely limited way of looking at the world and doesn’t seem to be making you happy at all.</p>
<p>By the way: Yes, it is hard. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I feel really down and depressed a lot. But, at the end of the day I’m also very fortunate to be getting an education and, if I keep my grades up I’ll be able to graduate from a good university with little debt. That’s amazing… considering I lived in a different state than the Uni I’m transferring from, didn’t have any support from parents and didn’t go to HS.</p>
<p>I think that, as a child, there are two ways of looking at parental relationships: 1.) Your parents have a responsibility towards you, their child, or 2.) they don’t. </p>
<p>No. 2 is a harsh and lonely way of looking at the world, but I feel it makes me less bitter and more able to focus on the future when I absolve my parents of responsibility.</p>
<p>Give up this dream of living at home during the summers. It makes no sense to live at home during the summers when you don’t like your parents! Assuming you’re paying $700/month rent wherever you live, you’d save $2,800 dollars for a summer of work. NOT WORTH IT when you’re talking about taking on 100K/debt.</p>
<p>Do the math:</p>
<p>2,800 x Four summers = 11,200</p>
<p>Even if we add that 11,200 , let’s say 30K in debt from an in-state school, you’ll still have far less than half the amount of debt when you graduate as opposed to your current plan.</p>
<p>You’re hanging on to this unrealistic dream of getting into an ivy-caliber and paying for it despite the fact that you’re quite poor. You need to think like you’re the son of a miner, not like you come from old money or something.</p>
<p>Wow, Usdenick. Impressive & inspiring. Your attitude will take you far. After you graduate, why not consider wirting a memoir, ala The Glass Castle, about your cult upbringing & ultimate Berkeley graduation? Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>Just get into Harvard. They announced today that for families with incomes between 75k and 180k tuition will be 10% of income, no counting home equity in calculations of aid. Still free for families under 60k.</p>
<p>Looks like I have a goal.</p>
<p>Now if only that was the case for ALL Harvard schools, not just Harvard College…but it’s not. Oh well.</p>
<p>Actually even better 10% from 120-180k and a declining scale from 120-60K at which it is free. Not the grad schools, you are right.</p>
<p>guys a lot of people are using the “I was sad I had no shoes until met a man who had no feet” argument / way of thinking for this situation, and to get kids whose parents say no to stop “whining.” It doesn’t apply. </p>
<p>Because if you HAVE shoes (parents have the money for a harvard education / experience) but you can’t wear them, you’re in a whole different situation than if the shoes don’t exist at all.</p>
<p>"Because if you HAVE shoes (parents have the money for a harvard education / experience) but you can’t wear them, you’re in a whole different situation than if the shoes don’t exist at all.'</p>
<p>no, then you slip them on your hands and learn to walk and do a handstand!!!</p>
<p>tada!</p>
<p>I got a million of em kid, the 9 oclock show is different than the 7…</p>
<p>if you still don’t get you learn to improvise, to make the best of what you have..</p>
<p>right but saying that is side stepping the issue</p>