Wow. I must live in a different world. It would be super rude to show up to someone’s party early in my circle of friends and acquaintances unless you are there to help set up. Glad I don’t know any of those people y’all are talking about. It’s much more accepted to be fashionably late. The party starts at 5, but nobody is really expected until 6 or so kinda thing.
I don’t know anyone who shows up early. To me that is much more worse than showing up late. I know if I was having people over having them show up early would be my worst nightmare.
If we have one couple invited for dinner, I have a hope they show up about on time …. or text if they are going to be more than 30 minutes late. Otherwise I worry that we got our signals crossed about day/time.
People aren’t very early, maybe 5 minutes or so. But if your party starts at 6, expect that most of your guests will be at your door at 6. In their defense, we now have some seniors who aren’t very ambulatory and they want to get a parking spot close to the door. As I live in a snowy place, it’s difficult for some to not park in the driveway next to the house. They will sit in their cars. So I shouldn’t have said very early but as I was used to showing up not at the immediate start time for a say holiday party, it seems very early to me.
But yea, it was an adjustment
Everyone usually leaves at the same time also, it’s not a late night.
I’m definitely the planner. H is fanatical about being early. S2 is neither, but has gotten better in recent years (ah, the subtle pressure of keeping a GF happy!). We have another friend who is perpetually late. When we invite her to camp with us on three day weekends, she shows up the middle of date two. Used to drive H nuts. Now we just roll with the flow and know she’ll get there when she can. Doesn’t bother me.
If I’m late, it’s traffic. DC and the burbs are terrible that way.
I could also never get into the “fashionably late”. To me if the arrival time is 6pm the arrival time is 6pm - within a few minutes! I’m someone who likes to leave early and leave enough time - and then wait out the extra time sitting in the car somewhere!
I sometimes think that people who are often late - or maybe even very early - are people who don’t ever do planning for an event/get together. If you know, you know.
Yes, she threw the potted plant at me - through an open car window. She was certain being late was all my fault - as was everything else that would ever go wrong between her vision of “right” and reality. H was driving, but he had nothing to do with being late. H was talking with his brother giving us a later start than expected, but that didn’t matter either.
She despised me until her Alzheimer’s had her forget she hated me (as I said in another thread).
I felt really bad for H being in the middle. I never was at peace visiting her place until her Alzheimer’s softened her up. But I love H, so we did what we could - and adjusted thereafter to always be sure to arrive before we said we’d be there.
Otherwise, around here if a party or dinner starts at 6, guests arrive from about 10 minutes before 6 until 2 or 3 minutes afterward. It works out nicely. If it’s a church dinner, then expect to arrive 30 minutes or so early if you want a decent choice of seating. The event will start at 6 and everyone will look at you if you’re one of the last ones coming in (not much different than church services).
I was visiting a friend of a friend over a weekend. This person would tell us that we were going out to dinner or to see a movie at a certain time. We would all be ready at agreed time, but she would throw a load of laundry on her way out, address few bills (it was a way back) to be mailed, gave her husband a quick call…we ended up waiting for her for over 30 min while she was doing few last minute things on our way out. It drove me crazy.
My dad always made us late to pretty much everything except school (he was a teacher). I can’t count the number of times we went to church and entered during the first song having missed all of the announcements and anything prior. We’d be the last to show up at any gathering. To this day I won’t go anywhere if I’m going to walk in late. It was way too embarrassing in my youth and left a mental impression I’ll probably never get over.
If we’re too early for someone, I’m like others and will drive around extra or wait nearby in my car. I’m also ok waiting in waiting rooms for doctor appts and similar.
My mom always made us late to church as well. I think it got to be a joke among fellow parishioners as to just how late into the service we would walk in. It left an impression on me as well. I think it’s one of the reasons I personally emphasize punctuality.
My dad was the one to take us to (Catholic) church. (My mom was Jewish and I’m sure she coveted this time of the week the house was quiet for an hour and a half!). I didn’t know what it was ever like walking in late as my dad always got us there SOOO early!!! Part of the church ritual became watching every other family walk in.
Although I know plenty of Catholics who walk in after the priest and leave after communion.
When we were kids, my parents sat in the first or second row so that we kids could see what was going on during mass. It’s a fond memory. In and out the side door.
Slightly off topic, but my husband MUST get to the movies at least 30 minutes early, and my sons would really rather be there about the end of the previews… wasn’t always fun.
Husband also wants to be sitting in one of those plastic chairs by the gate 2 hours ahead of flight time.
I do like to be at airport early (but not 2 hours early). Drives my husband nuts, so we usually compromise. I’d rather be early sitting in those plastic seats than stressing in unexpected traffic jams and/or airport delays. If it is a early flight, we do breakfast at airport McDonalds.
During our Covid flight this year, I agreed to have less buffer time than usual.
I enjoy (most) airports, so being there early is never a problem. I enjoy people watching, as does H. I guess it goes along with our liking to wander vs rushing to get somewhere.
We’re doing a double feature at the movies tomorrow. Dune followed by Red Notice. Now we just have to plan supper in between. Deciding something today to do tomorrow is rather common planning here.
That said, I’m also going out in the morning to buy most of the rest of our Thanksgiving+ foods so after tomorrow we won’t be spending a lot of time around other people prior to going to FIL’s again. That’s taken more planning than the movies!
I weirdly LOVE waiting in airports. I love grabbing some food (even if it’s way overpriced!), wandering gift shops, and then eventually sitting down with a good book or some magazines. It’s like forced relaxation time where I don’t need to worry about other things I should be doing!
