<p>Not sure what to do with the other colleges. D1, a few years ago, simply voided responding--she just decided to forget about the colleges that accepted her. One school in the midwest offered her a full tuition scholarship. She just ignored them. No response. We did not apply for financial aid back then, so I didn't feel bad that she didn't respond to something we didn't ask for. That was then; this is now. This is D2. We did apply for financial aid and received it from all except the one public school on her list. Only Oberlin offered a scholarship.</p>
<p>Does D2 owe the other schools that accepted her some kind of response? We keep getting emails, letters (some addressed to her mom and me) and a few phone calls from student interns (I tell them she's not home) asking if she still has any questions. They don't usually come right out and ask if she's coming. D2 is very conflict avoidant. One top school put her on the waiting list, but rather than return the included "yes, I want to be on the waiting list" card by the deadline, she ignored it. I'm not sure what to do here.</p>
<p>My daughter wrote to all of the schools that admitted her thanking them. For the scholarship schools, she also thanked them for that. She also told them where she was going and that she was accepting a full tuition scholarship. For the two big names that offered her $0, someone on the waitlist might be happy. I think some schools keep track of where their applicants go. It can be valuable information. She has received one card back so far saying the university will hold her materials for a year, should she change her mind.</p>
<p>I am a big believer that you never know when you might want something and some person may remember that you did the right thing. When she interviewed with faculty members throughout this past year, I always insisted that she thank the people, in writing, for taking the time to talk with her. So many students today look at themselves as customers who should be served, so I think that the practice of formally thanking people is underused.</p>
<p>Absolutely. It’s common courtesy to reply to an offer, regardless of what your decision is. Common courtesy not only to the college but also to the kids who are sitting on the waitlist and hoping to get the call offering them a spot.</p>
<p>My kids either returned the reply cards indicating they would not be accepting the school’s offer of admission, or sent an email to the admissions rep. Almost all sent a reply wishing them well and asking that they keep them in mind if things didn’t work out. We felt it was only polite to reply to all offers of admission.</p>
<p>Same here as my-3-sons. Though there is one school that I wish we had sent that nice letter to, as MD Mom describes – not because I foresee D needing to go there or get a job there at some point, but simply because the admissions people were so gracious and nice.</p>
<p>Yes, it’s important, for all the reasons other posters express. Being conflict-averse should have nothing to do with it, because there’s no conflict involved in saying, “Thank you for choosing me, but I’ve decided to attend another college.” It’s just courteous.</p>
<p>It will be important later when it comes to job search later. It continues to amaze me how some students do not have the courtesy to respond to emails - whether it is to say “no thanks,” or “thank-you for the offer,” or “thank-you for the info.” I have told some school’s career center that it reflects badly on them. College process is a very good learning opportunity for kids, we shouldn’t miss it.</p>
<p>In our case, we still have D2, we wanted to make sure our D1 wouldn’t necessary burn any bridges for her younger sister. For our large IS she just returned the card, but for our alma mater she wrote a nice email back (they wrote a nice email back to wish her luck), she also thanked the school that gave her a full scholarship.</p>
<p>I agree that it is the right thing to do to notify the colleges and let them know you will not be attending. It is polite and also makes room for someone on a waitlist…so many kids waiting .</p>
<p>Of course she should reply. If someone offers you a piece of pie and you don’t want it, you don’t just stand there saying nothing, right? You say, “No thank you.”</p>
<p>Take a stand. You don’t want to send her out into the world understanding the importance of declining offers gracefully.</p>
<p>Ds just sent off letters to both the offices of admissions and the dance departments of the colleges to which he was declining acceptances. I think particularly for the dance departments it is important to act with professional courtesy as there were auditions and personal interviews where a personal interaction was involved and one never knows when your paths may cross again. It’s to your advantage to keep influential people thinking well of your professionalism.</p>
<p>No question about it. There are students on waitlists hoping to get the spots she is holding. So as soon as she is sure she will not be coming, she should notify the school.
(That is also the best “conflict avoidance” strategy, btw. No school will have “hurt feelings” if she is not coming, but not letting them know, especially if they are trying to reach out to her, is plain rude.)</p>
<p>As for her wait list - make it her call. If she does not respond to the waitlist offer, she won’t be going there.</p>
<p>Sending a brief thanks-but-no-thanks letter to colleges you won’t attend is not only the right thing to do but can also indeed occasionally help you reach future goals.</p>
<p>I worked in a college admission office that saved certain application materials for several years, even for those students who did not matriculate. If a student applied to transfer who had previously applied as a freshman, we would dig out the old folder. Sometimes there would be a nice note in there declining the original offer of admission. That always helped to make the staff members favorably disposed toward that applicant.</p>
<p>And, if you want to go the extra mile, colleges really like to know where you DID matriculate and why. While I wouldn’t advise saying something like, “I’m going to Northwestern because I liked it more than your school,” you can say, “I picked Northwesthern because it’s larger than your school, smaller than your school, closer to home, further from home, has a special program in my area of academic interest, I got a better aid package, etc.” Or, alternatively, you can simply say, “I picked Northwestern but it was a tough choice.”</p>
<p>You’re certainly not obliged to tell colleges where you’ll be enrolling (even those that may send you a questionnaire to ask … which occasionally happens) but it does help admission folks so it’s a courteous thing to do, if you don’t feel that it invades your privacy.</p>
<p>S1 sentemails to the admissions offices as well as any profs or regional reps he may have spoken with in the course of his decision-making process. One of the profs offered him a summer research position six months later. This was a powerful lesson in why one acts respectfully and does not burn bridges…</p>
<p>There have been a couple of CCers here who sent nice notes, got a “if you decide to transfer, we’ll keep your merit offer in place for you,” and wound up transferring to that school when the first one didn’t work out.</p>
<p>Please let the schools know. Others want to attend!</p>
<p>Both of my kids sent responses to the college they did not select. S only applied to 2 schools and accepted at school B mainly because of a full tuition scholarship. Thank goodness he replied to school A that he was declining because of the other scholarship offer. Two weeks into the first semester, we were back at school A inquiring about transferring there. They were very nice and very welcoming, still had his original materials on file, and I’m sure the reply was also in the file.</p>
<p>It is not a confrontational thing to do. Just send a quick email response.</p>
<p>Many colleges send cards and ask where your child IS going. It isn’t a matter of conflict–since they often accept three times as many students or more than they expect to come, it would be a disaster if everyone said yes. Since they invested time and effort into each child’s file, I think it’s right to give them at least the courtesy of that much information.</p>
<p>Along these lines, to whom should the “no thank you” letters be addressed? For example, for one school that offered a scholarship, the letter was signed by the president of the university. Should my son’s no thank you letter be addressed to the president of the school (that seems a little presumptuous to me)? Other professors and deans have written letters as well. Would addressing the letters to the admissions office work? We would like to leave the doors open at these schools, just in case the first choice doesn’t prove as wonderful as he thinks.<br>
Would the schools print out an email and put it in his file? Or would it be safest to send the response via snail mail?</p>
<p>I think for college admissions, emailing the admissions office (or mailing the card) is sufficient.
When my daughter was declining grad school admission offers, she emailed every professor that met with her or contacted her in the process. But grad school admissions are much more personal in nature.</p>