<p>my freshman daughter is concerned about her roommate's sleeping (lots) and eating (only one meal/day) habits, and talking about depression. </p>
<p>When is it appropriate for one student to talk to the RA about such feelings and behavior in another student' (w/o horning in and compromising privacy)?</p>
<p>In this day and age of Va Tech, NIU and the like, the conventional wisdom I have heard told all over is to 'tell others' when you think someone is having problems. However, when is it ok, or indicated, to tell and when might it be oppressive to the other person?</p>
<p>The other thing going on in the particular situation here that might be helpful in considering this question: my daughter is concerned for her roomie, AND concerned for herself, if you get the drift (like unstable stuff COULD BE on the horizon, for example). But is mere anxiety in oneself sufficient to go to the RA?</p>
<p>also realize that my daughter is a first time freshman at a res school and living with a stranger in housing quarters equivalent to a prison cell - as all on cc are aware. thus she does not know what might be typical college behavior and what might be sick behavior.</p>
<p>If D feels comfortable, she can maybe talk to her roommate and see how everything is going. It may ease her anxiety about the situation a little. However, if she feels uncomfortable with that, she should go talk to her RA. RA’s are trained to deal with situations like these or at least who to refer the roommate to. Once she tells the RA, the RA can always go and do a ‘wellness check’ on the roommate to see if there is really a problem or a need for intervention. The RA doesnt have to tell the roommate that your D told her about the situation. The RA can always say that he or she has noticed that they havent seen them around the dorm or interacting with others. See how how classes are and what not. At my school, they have a mental health center (psychiatrist/ counselors), a counseling center (psychologist), and an on-call crisis counselor that will come on-campus when called. The RA can initiate some of those services or at least refer the person to those resources. </p>
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<p>If this is a change from the first week they met, then I would be worried. If this has been happening since day one, then I would wait or have your D talk to her about how they were doing.</p>
<p>That does sound like strange behavior. Maybe your daughter should suggest for her to see an on-campus counselor or something. But, I think, this time, going to the RA would probably be a good idea.</p>