I’m almost finished with my first year of college and I’m still hating it. I honestly try my best to look at things optimistically and see the positive sides of things here. It usually works in the moment until I go back to my dorm and realize that college still sucks.
Yea, I’ve made a good amount of friends. Well, acquaintances really. I don’t really have a group of friends yet. I usually just hang out with my roommate who I know from high school. The problem is that most girls I meet that I could potentially be friends with are in sororities and they’ve already made all their friends. I really hate Greek life at my school. So many people are so concerned with the “tier” system and reputation. And you can’t really get into/get invited to parties without being Greek. It really sucks because I just want to meet friends based on their personalities, but almost everyone is wrapped up in “which sorority is better than the other” type thing!
Academically, I’m doing a lot better this semester. I’m pre-med and didn’t do so hot last semester. I’m volunteering in a research lab and at the hospital. I also play a significant role in the very large pre-med club.
I’m just wondering if anyone can relate/give advice on how to deal with this/if my situation will get better aka will I ever find my niche? I’m not sure how much longer I can go without a friend group.
Your second to last paragraph makes it sound like you are doing well except for socially? Your name leads me yo think you are at Duke? If so, the Duke student affairs page says 40 percent of females are Greek. That is very high, but it still means 60 percent are not Greek. Where are those 60 percent? You néed to find them. I always think it is best to have one “major” related EC and one social EC. It might be late this year to find one, but can you start looking of next year?
You sound very busy. Do you have time for friends? Having friends takes a time investment just like anything else. Pre-med can be a tough major for that, but it sounds like you need that in your life.
Have you met anyone in the pre-med club you are involved in? Does the club organize social events to help people get to know each other? Or are there group volunteering activities where you could get to know people? Do you invite others to do things outside of the club?
Have you had the opportunity to talk to other students who are also volunteering in the hospital, or to other members of your lab?
Friendships take a while to develop and it involves seeing and talking to people often. If you aren’t getting enough regular contact with the same people, you will often have to make the extra effort to meet people outside of those activities and do fun things together.
There’s really not a finite number of friends that one can have, so even if most of the young women you meet who you want to be friends with are in sororities, you can still reach out and be friends with them. When you become acquainted with them, take the initiative and ask them if they want to grab lunch together or go do something fun. You have to cultivate relationships. (The bonus is that you might get invited to more parties if you are friends with folks who are Greek, even if you aren’t yourself.)
It’s impossible to tell whether or not your situation will improve because that depends on your personal drive, your campus, the people around you, etc. Personally, although I had acquaintances in college, I didn’t really hit my stride socially until I was in graduate school. Some people really enjoy their junior year as they take more major classes and meet more people within their major. Some people reconnect with their classmates during their senior year. It really just depends!