<p>“Are you missing the point that, unlike your D, the OP’s D does not appear to have any schools on the original list (1st, 2nd, or otherwise) that are likely to fit their circumstances financially and they are not able to otherwise afford the schools without excessive loans?”
-How anybody knows that she would not get Merit awards at any of them? There is no way of knowing now, you can guestimate, but as an example, we did not know exactly how much D. would get at any schools. The difference was much larger than predicted, the reasons were not that clear at all. Again, everybody here speaks from experience. Some schools even change after applicant send intention to attend. Strange as it migh sound, for no reason at all, D’s school gave her more after she decided to go there. There is no logic, they have no insentive to do so, she was theirs already, but they did. As I said, you can research, you can predict, and then things happen that are not anticipated.</p>
<p>^^^ And if the OP’s D gets high enough merit to make any of her first choice schools affordable, ALL of us will be happy for her, she can decline admission to her safety schools, and all is well. It’s win-win.</p>
<p>BUT, what happens if she doesn’t get these awards? As you said, they are unpredictable (though stats tell us improbable with getting an award to bring the cost way down at the chosen schools). If they have added a safety or two, then there are still viable high caliber choices and multiple experiences have shown that kids tend to end up happy at these schools. If they choose not to add any now and “hope for the best,” then what? Then you can’t decide to add another school of the same caliber. You’d either have to skip a high caliber (for at least a year) altogether or take out high loans. That’s a lose-lose situation.</p>
<p>Most posters on here try to help folks avoid the possibility of lose-lose situations. I’m in that group.</p>
<p>^The girl can add as many as she wishes, the point is to make her do it AGAINST HER WISHES at this point will create a friction, it should have been done before.</p>
<p>She finally came around and made some concessions. She is working on applications to U Maryland and New Mexico. Still refused Uab and others. Sigh, it’s a step in the right direction, I guess.</p>
<p>UAB isn’t the same as Alabama…those are two different schools. Has she ruled out applying to Alabama? I think that if she visited, she’d change her mind. Bama has a brand-new mega-sized Science and Engineering Complex…800,000 square feet of new STEM academic space. </p>
<p>Has anyone suggested that the parents insist on a couple of “parent pick” apps? Bama’s app takes like 3 minutes to do. The scholarship app takes hardly any time either…neither requires essays or teacher recs. Very quick to fill out online.</p>
<p>Does the student and parents realize that the parents would have to co-sign their D’s loans if she’s going to borrow $25k per year?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t worry too much about “melt-downs”. High school seniors have these frequently over the college app issue. My older son had one that included, “I’m not going to go to any southern schools”. Well, he loved Bama and is so glad that he graduated from there.</p>
<p>My younger son is a senior at Bama. He’s Chemical Engineering and pre-med. Absolutely loves it there.</p>
<p>Should have been earlier is not an option right now for this family (but is good advice for those with youngers coming through). Friction now is better than lose-lose later. The OP can tell his D that IF the merit aid comes through, then win-win is still an option too. The application process is not a “must go there” process except for ED.</p>
<p>Well, if melt-downs are entertaining why not? Consider thow that Girl’s melt-downs might not be as entertaining as boys’ melt-downs. I have a privilege of raising both and even my S. who has a boy and a girl admits to this notion. “Drama queen” situation in girl’s case might be a bit more to handle than in boys’ case. Best wishes, walk a line, I mean walk very very carefully, little missteps might have bigger consequences than you wish!</p>
<p>Miami, again, you are on the verge on trolling here. When people post asking for help, telling them that their children’s meltdowns are valuable for entertainment is of no use whatsoever and borders on cruel. </p>
<p>OP- ignore the ■■■■■.</p>
<p>And a big hug to you for putting up with the less than helpful critiques of your parenting skills. I just want to reiterate- you are not alone, there are thousands of families who end up in April without an adequate financial back up. You are NOT going to be one of them this year… but it’s hardly a crime to over-estimate one’s ability to be generous to one’s children. You are doing a great thing by sparing your D a potentially cruel April by having the dialogue and the discussions now while there’s time to put a good back-up plan in place.</p>
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<p>I agree 100%. I also think that adding U Alabama and Pitt would be wise options. It’s ok that they are safety schools. Either would end up being a place she loved if she ends up at them I suspect.</p>
<p>I got 2 parent picks with S’12. One of them came back with the best financial package. He ultimately didn’t want to go there, but he did forward that package to his first choice school which matched it. That’s a win-win :)</p>
<p>I agree that a couple parent picks are a good idea, especially if the parents are paying for the applications. I think the student should ultimately choose the college he or she attends (provided there are viable choices), but if a parent feels strongly about a particular school (for financial or other reasons), I don’t think it is unreasonable for the parent to insist that the child apply. My D applied to one school because I asked her to, and that was the school she ended up choosing. The application was my choice; actually attending was hers.</p>