I wrote two essays for this prompt:
Consider something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it’s important to you.
The first one I wrote was about me helping my parents through a lot tough times. One specific one was when my mom’s identity got stolen and I helped her out a lot. My parents don’t speak English so I do a lot of that official stuff. In this essay, I wrote about how every day family life and normalcy goes unnoticed. This one wasn’t clicking with the teachers that I showed it to, so I wrote a new one.
The second one I wrote was about my first coming to America and not knowing any English. Despite that, I read my first book in English at age 5. (I was 5 when I came to America.) I read my first chapter book when I was 6. Then, I go into talking about sitting down to read a book of your choice goes unnoticed. Reading is so incredibly important to me and it gave me color and life when I had no friends and such.
I really love both of them, but the second one speaks to me the most. However, my counselor said that I should use the first one because it makes me more unique and the admission people will like that. Please let me know what you guys think! Thanks!
I have to agree with your counselor. The second one sounds a bit “braggy” even though that’s not your intention. When in doubt, rely on telling a story about how you help others vs. something that can be misconstrued as self centered.
@preppedparent Really? How does it sound braggy? :o
<<despite that,="" i="" read="" my="" first="" book="" in="" english="" at="" age="" 5.="" (i="" was="" 5="" when="" came="" to="" america.)="" chapter="" 6.="">>
@preppedparent My teacher said to emphasize that, because it will show that I adapt quickly to new things. 
Got it. There are ways to phrase it that doesn’t sound braggy. “Reading English at first was like a fun puzzle that needed to be deciphered. I couldnt get enough, so by the time I reached first grade, I was on to Chapter Books, that served as pirate ships for adventure. Mystery Books, Science Fiction and Biographies became my treasure chests.” Pick a theme. Avoid anything that smacks of bragging.
The second one does sound slightly braggy, but I know that’s not what you meant. You and I are really similar in our experiences! I moved to the USA from Mexico at age 8 when my mother married my stepfather. Within less than a year of living in the USA, I was identified as G&T for reading and writing and had a lexile equivalent to that of a seventh grader despite being a fourth grader at the time. But this can come off as a little braggy, and no one can risk an essay that’s even a little bit braggy. Try to rephrase it? Preppedparent’s suggestion is really good.
I think that the first essay is a lot more interesting and unique, especially with your mom getting her identity stolen- I was quite shocked when I read that.
In the end, the essay that speaks to you the most will be the best one, because it’ll be the one that your passion and personality shines through the most. But yes, beware of sounding braggy; Pretty much everyone sounds a little braggy in their essays at first, even though that’s no one’s intention. I’m included in this.