<p>So I have two topics in mind for my essay for next year [I am a junior] but I like to plan ahead. First off, I would like to give a little background on myself. I would be a first generation college student from immigrant parents with an outstanding transcript [all honors/AP classes and straight A's -> 4.8 gpa weighted and 4.0 unweighted]. However, I am lacking very much so when it comes to ECs since I had to take care of my younger brother everyday after school until my parents came home from work at 1 and 6 a.m., respectively. On another thread on here, I asked on how I can improve my ECs and several people mentioned that I can explain my situation on my application, and I could do so for my essay however I already had a different topic in mind. I was thinking of compiling an essay talking about how my parents were immigrants and gave up a lot in order for me to have a better life/education by coming to the U.S. and how that, combined with my life changing experience of how I almost died in a car accident [the car flipped over twice] and miraculously came out completely unscathed, has led me to want to pursue a career in either politics so that I could be able to try to give back since I got a second chance to live or international affairs to put my language skills to good use and help promote reform world wide, possibly as a diplomat.</p>
<p>So which topic do you think would be the better one? I'm not sure how great of an essay I could muster up if I wrote about how I had to take care of my brother since all I really got from that was responsibility but on the other hand, it would explain why I wasn't able to join/be as involved as others in the community and in ECs.</p>
<p>What do you guys think? And thanks ahead of time! I appreciate your time.</p>
<p>don't do an essay explaining your situation, go for a different topic, something more unique.</p>
<p>there is an additional info section on the common app to make explanations.</p>
<p>if you put it in your essay...adcoms mayyy see it as an excuse for not having ECs and if its in your essay, not having a good essay either.... sort of like killling two birds with one stone</p>
<p>The car flipped over twice - geez, that's incredible... I think you should write about that, but you have to showcase it in the right way. Not sympathetic, definitely.</p>
<p>I don't think you could fit all of that into an engaging essay - it'd just sound like you were spurting out information about your life. IMO don't talk about how your parents gave up so much to come here, because too many kids will do that... it's overplayed. Pick something more unique. </p>
<p>I think the car thing is incredible - use it as a metaphor or something.</p>
<p>As for your essay -- your central one -- I recommend the idea about writing about your life. You can include the explanation about your ECs as an optional extra essay/attachment -- most schools accept one.</p>
<p>I agree that you shouldn't write the story about immigration. First of all, your parents' immigration may have had a large impact on your life -- of course! -- but it doesn't really have to do with YOU personally. You were not there when they immigrated, and therefore it's an indirect effect. That's like me writing about my parents growing up in New York and having a relatively rough start in the working-class...as an admissions officer I'd read it and go "Nice, but why should we admit you?"</p>
<p>The story about your car accident is better, but you have to be able to write it in an entertaining, compelling way so it doesn't come out sounding like "I was in a car accident, feel bad for me and let me in!" It needs to sound more like "This incident in my life may seem small, but it's really big to me because ____."</p>
<p>Personally, I would not do either. The immigrant topic is very common and it's not about you. The car accident topic is not really cohesive. How does almost dying make you want to be a politician..? You would probably do that anyway even if you didn't get into an accident. (BTW people don't see politicians as being the charitable kind) </p>
<p>It is good you are starting early, but you need to think long and hard about your topic. You need to explain something unique about yourself.</p>
<p>I wrote about my personal circumstances that kept me from doing many extracurricular in my Additional Info section, and it proved to be enough.</p>
<p>The immigrant topic is so common, its not even funny... (I'm an immigrant too...) </p>
<p>The near death experience, while nearly tragic, fails to be a good essay as it cannot really tie in with your aspirations, wishes, and future... It could vaguely, saying how it motivated you, but its still a stretch... (I also had a near death experience. I choked on a piece of candy... not a two second choke, but my face turned blue, and my mom had to save me choke...) </p>
<p>Anything is a good essay topic... I wrote about a philosophical thought I had in a local pizza place as my Yale essay... :)</p>
<p>Definitely do not write one about how your parents had to sacrifice so much for you! it'll be written hundreds of times in your class of applicants. Here's an idea if you're going to explain your personal circumstances, zoom in on one day that you're watching your little brother, waiting for your parents to come home. Analyze the seemingly mundane details and relate it to what its taught you. Responsibility, relate that to hopefully at least one EC where you were responsible. Leadership/independence, has it helped you mature? More often that people think, the best essays are usually close examinations of seemingly boring events, that are then related back to certain events that the writer has experienced. Its better if it is a unique boring event (^ such as that pizza place).</p>
<p>Yes, IMO, the best essays are the unexpected ones.</p>
<p>i.e. I wrote about how I can't dance, and how the way I dance correlates to the way I live my life. It might be a weird topic, but regardless it came out pretty well written.</p>
<p>Quoting from the article: "A good essay is not good because of the topic but because of the voice. A good writer can make any topic interesting, and a weak writer can make even the most dramatic topic a bore."</p>
<p>It would be better if you could write thoughtfully about something you've gained from the time spent with your little brother, possibly based on an anecdote regarding something the two of you did together.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you don't spend quality time together, why not start now. It might enrich your life in more than one way. A thoughtful essay about how the two of you spent untold afternoons incommunicado, each on his own computer playing games, until you decided to turn it off and get involved with each other (and possibly the outside world) could be very effective. And the experience could be valuable for you.</p>
<p>Although I am one of the people who strongly encouraged you to write about your situation in a previous post, your life-threatening situation could create an extremely compelling essay. </p>
<p>This experience is clearly extraordinarily traumatic, and you are very lucky. If you write it from the perspective of what you have LEARNED from this experience, you are surely going to come up with a wonderful essay. Compare this moment to your life, and your essay will surely come out beautifully. </p>
<p>Thanks to everyone so far. And I don't think I really explained my whole accident very well. It was a very spiritual experience, I mean you hear of thousands of teens who die each year in car accidents as it is the number one reason for teen deaths, and I managed to be the one that came out of such a thing without even as much as a broken bone or concussion?! My car had even landed about 5 feet away from a telephone pole and I miraculously missed that as well. It was definitely a life changing experience and it makes me feel as if I was spared to help others out (and even if I wasn't and I was just spared by some freak chance, I still want to give back and make something of my life where I help others since I'm grateful just to be alive), so that's why I want to go into something government related or diplomacy. That way I could become an advocate or community organizer or the sort to help the masses.</p>
<p>But I don't know anymore, I still think it's a good idea to write about that but you guys are definitely making me rethink that! Because otherwise, I have no little incidents or profound moments really to write about as I spend all of my time at home cleaning and watching my brother or working on the loads of homework I have. I don't even see my friends outside of school.</p>
<p>honor - Of the topics you've mentioned, the car-flipping topic actually makes me want to read your essay. I think it could be a very powerful story, especially since you obviously attach a great deal of emotion to it.</p>
<p>The little brother and immigrant parents could be a sentence or two, if you really feel compelled to put them in. I'm sure you thought of them at some point, as in what impact your death or disability would have had on them if events had taken a less miraculous turn.</p>
<p>I'm not so sure about the ending ("I think I was saved for a special purpose, so I want to become a politician or government bureaucrat" might not play well given current events), but a vivid first-person description of the experience and the personal changes you went through as a result could make a strong essay imho. As long as you weren't drunk or texting or something like that when you had the accident... and even if that were the case, it could be an event that turned your life around.</p>
<p>Of course, your nickname among the admissions counselors would probably be "Crash." But you would stand out enough to have a nickname! :D</p>
<p>Haha, thanks. And no, I was lost on a hilly, curvy, country road at one in the afternoon driving into the sunlight. And I must also be the one in thousands of 16 almost 17 year olds who doesn't have a cell phone as well, so no texting for me! I think if I had a cell phone I could have avoided the whole crash because then I wouldn't have been lost/been in that dangerous area in the first place.</p>
<p>And so then I should just talk about how it has changed me? It had changed me by making me realize life really is too short and unexpected, as cliche as that might sound, and to not take anything for granted. It has also truly inspired me to help others as much as I can. So would it be alright if I mentioned that in there and how I'd like to somehow make a career out of that, just not specify exactly what type of career?</p>
<p>Try not to make it cliche. As soon as I read a cliche in an essay, I get completely turned off... and don't try one of those "I know it sounds cliche, but..." because those don't usually work either. Cliches honestly take out all the ingenuity out of an essay - the WORST is when a potentially great essay screeches to a halt after slamming into a cliche. Don't write one of those ;)</p>
<p>(Preface: All of this is the way I view your topic. If it doesn't ring true to you, please disregard. Your essay should reflect who you are and what's important to you. k? :))</p>
<p>I wouldn't "just" talk about how it changed you. I'd probably spend about 2/3 of the essay describing the situation -- from being lost to losing control of the vehicle to flipping to realizing that, against all odds, you were alive and unharmed. And then the flood of relief, wonder, gratitude.... All matter of fact, but using vivid, evocative language to put the reader into your place.</p>
<p>Then I'd spend the last 1/3 or so of the essay discussing how it changed your outlook on life. What made you decide you want to spend it helping people? Do you feel indebted, like you're living on borrowed time? Do you feel that it's important to bring as much good from your life as possible, now that you know life is so fleeting and unpredictable? Do you treasure your relationships more, knowing that they could be over tomorrow? Do you feel passionate about transportation safety now, and want to spare other teens the kind of fate you narrowly escaped?</p>
<p>If you mention a specific career path, tie it in directly with what you experienced. If that doesn't work, you might explain why you now feel drawn to public service (a term with fewer negative associations than government) or diplomacy (how will your being a diplomat help people?). But the way I see this topic, I wouldn't dwell on this part much -- unless your career choice can make a truly compelling case that the college you're applying to is the perfect place for you to fulfill your newly inspired commitment to life.</p>
<p>Geek_mom, that is exactly what I was looking for and what I want to go for! Thank you so much for the help! Now I truly feel like I am on the right path, or at least have an awesome starting point!</p>
<p>Glad to hear it. :) As you begin to write, bear in mind the purpose of college essays: They give admissions counselors the chance to find out who you are and what makes you tick. So be sure those things come through loud and clear all the way through your essay. Good luck!</p>
<p>Choose whichever topic allows you to be the most personal, detailed, honest and revealing.</p>
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<p>I'm skeptical about devoting a large amount of space to the details of the car flipping over. Such details reveal little of the type of presence that you would bring to the classroom, dormitory, campus generally. The essay should reveal you, not an accident.</p>
<p>I'm also skeptical of telling how you life has changed and how now you want to help people. Show, don't Tell. What can you show about your life since the accident, what can you show of how you have changed?</p>