Which recommendation letter is better?

Paying for College
1

<p>Can someone please give me their opinion on which letter is better? I kind of don't want to send letter 1 b/c I'm a little angry the writer spelled my name and the name of my school wrong, but I don't want those feelings to get in the way of which rec letter I decide to send.</p>

<p>LETTER 1
March 3, 2009</p>

<p>To Whom It May Concern:</p>

<p>I strongly recommend an academic scholarship for Hmf123. As her neighbor I’ve watched Hmf123 as a child, as a teenager, and now enjoy observing her transition from high school to university life. As a journalist/or scientist, she has a bright future ahead. As citizens, we need journalists such a Hmf123 to be covering events, reporting accurately and fairly on all aspects of complex issues, and editing to insure precision in the output of the product. As citizens, we need scientists who have an understanding of chemistry and passion for understanding the world of matter. In my professional estimation, Hmf123 has that potential. </p>

<p>This student does not take her responsibilities lightly. She works steadily and deeply. Hmf123 received a special recognition during her 10th grade year for perfect attendance, a certificate in English during her 11th grade year as Most Diligent, and her leadership on the Ranchview High School Student Council throughout her four years in high school demonstrates her commitment to excellence and social responsibility.</p>

<p>My three-decade career in education-related projects has allowed me to interact with thousands of students, parents, colleagues, and corporate directors in the United States and abroad. I served as teacher, counselor, principal, central office administrator, regional education service center curriculum director, university professor, researcher, and director of education and technology- related projects across Texas, the United States, and several international initiatives. For the past two decades, I served as an evaluator on federal projects that allowed me to interact nationally and internationally. My reason for detailing my experience is to once again recommend an academic scholarship for this talented student. </p>

<p>Hmf123 has always been aware of herself in connection to a larger world. For such a young lady, her academics, aesthetic and community service endeavors demonstrate a mature sense of courtesy, courage, truth, balance, selflessness and academic precision. For example, Hmf123 received grades of A in both dual credit courses of Government and Economics at Irving’s North Lake Community College in June 2008. Her AP U.S. History Exam 11th grade score of 5, and AP English Exam 11th grade score of 3 illustrate the point. </p>

<p>From an aesthetic sense, Hmf123 is an avid reader like her parents. From her youth, she has interacted with family members who read world literature, including poetry, to her on a routine basis. The aesthetic interaction and sense of courtesy is so much a part of the Hmf123 household, that it goes unnoticed by Hmf123, but not by those of us who live in the neighborhood. </p>

<p>Community service is part of Hmf123’s life also. As a member of the National Honor Society during her junior and senior years, Hmf123 volunteers as an academic tutor. Additionally, she has coordinated extracurricular events for her 9th grade classmates at Ranchview High School, and helped with a range of events such as Hope-in-a-Box, Cimarron Trail and Riverchase Halloween Carnivals, and a Peanut Butter Sandwich Drive targeted for homeless.</p>

<p>Hmf123 has an inner strength that she is able to transfer to works in the intellectual, social, and artistic domains. She has always been able to interact with neighborhood friends in a way that demonstrates social leadership attributes. She even participated in the blood drive for the American Red Cross in November 2008.</p>

<p>Hmf123 is patient with others; precise with herself. Any university committed to academic and social excellence would be receiving a strong student in Hmf123.
She is deserving of an academic scholarship in my professional judgement.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>Revision101, Ph.D.</p>

<p>LETTER 2</p>

<p>To Whom It May Concern:</p>

<p>I am honored to recommend Hmf123 for this scholarship. </p>

<p>I have known Hmf123 as a family friend since she was about 3 years old. Over the years, I’ve seen her grow and mature. She has always been highly observant and very creative. When my daughter was born, Hmf123 was about 8 years old. She wrote such a nice description of the baby, describing “her little toes like grains of rice.” </p>

<p>All the time I’ve known Hmf123, she has been busy and curious. She has always read extensively outside of school, and been involved in a wide variety of activities that stretched her world. Every time I’ve seen her, she has had something new and interesting to talk about that she’s been investigating or been involved in. Her grades have been outstanding and she’s taken many Advanced Placement and college-level classes, but it’s been because she was truly interested in what she was studying, not because she had to study. She has won many awards and honors over the years, such as being on the Honor Roll, receiving certificates and Special Recognitions for academic achievement in science, English, business—but again, the awards resulted from her interest in something or her expression of creativity, not because she was trying to win an award. </p>

<p>Hmf123 has always been extremely kind and considerate in addition to her intellectual curiosity. It is a pleasure to see her and converse with her. One is sure to be pleasantly engaged by her fresh, informed outlook. </p>

<p>Thank you for considering Hmf123 for the Dallas Scottish Rite Library and Museum Scholarship. She is a prime candidate for this scholarship and the money, if awarded, will be going to a person who will make a positive contribution to the community around her. It is a joy to know her and I look forward to seeing her go on to greater successes in life. </p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>Family Friend</p>

2

<p>Letter 2 is so far superior to letter 1 that I’m sitting here pinching myself to make sure letter 1 isn’t some kind of joke.</p>

<p>Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, there was another thread on this, so I checked back. Sure enough, there’s that “inner strength” again, plus the courtesy, courage, truth, balance, selflessness and academic precision. Good grief.</p>

<p>Except now letter 1 includes blather about herself: “teacher, counselor, principal, central office administrator, regional education service center curriculum director, university professor, researcher, and director of education and technology- related projects across Texas, the United States, and several international initiatives.”</p>

<p>My eyes glazed over somewhere in the middle of her third sentence. This writer suffers from the worst form of verbal diarrhea known to mankind, and she manages to say absolutely nothing during the onslaught.</p>

<p>Letter 2, on the other hand, has an honest sincerity about it that says “I know this person, and this is a good person. I’m not going to regurgitate some resume that’s already included in her package, so I’ll just tell you what it was like watching this young lady grow up and mature.”</p>

<p>This is a no-brainer. Letter #2 is the one you should submit.</p>

3

<p>And another thing — let’s take a good look at her 4th paragraph:</p>

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<p>Basically, she’s saying you got a couple of As at the local CC, and a 5 (nice) and a 3 (average) on two AP exams. And from this she somehow concludes:

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<p>I will not let you submit that letter! Step away from the letter! Put it in the shredder! Dust your hands off, and swear to me right now that you won’t even let your little neighbors go trick-or-treating at this person’s house!!!</p>

4

<p>I agree that #2 is the much better letter. Number one seems kind of “canned” and also…they spelled your name wrong! Send the second one, it’s better anyway.</p>

5

<p>It is unfortunate that writer #1 did not spend his/her post-grad days acquiring the skill to write for a general audience : )
But #2 is a little vague, albeit sincere.
As much as I hate the writing in letter #1, it does employ concrete examples that could benefit you. Where possible, chose specificity. Any chance #1 would agree to a decisive edit (shredit : )???
Just a thought.
Good luck.
K</p>

6

<p>^^ Specificity??? You must be kidding!</p>

<p>Letter #1 threw out every adjective in the book. And then, when she needed to blahblahblah some more, she started talking about herself, and threw out every adjective in the book.</p>

<p>That’s not specificity; that’s a bizarre dictionary, and it has no place in a recommendation, other than to look up the spelling of a school. And she couldn’t even get that right.</p>

<p>hmf, you’re killing me. Get rid of #1. The letter and the neighbor. No recs, no trick-or-treating, no picking up the mail when she’s out of town, no shoveling her driveway in the winter, no walking her dog. Nuttin’ honey. Nada. You deserve better.</p>

<p>Please.</p>

7

<p>Why didn’t you get a rec from someone more qualified, like a teacher or counselor…? A rec from a neighbor seems very… lax? No that’s the wrong word, but you know what I mean.</p>

8

<p>My DD NEEDED personal letters of reference for a couple of local scholarships she applied for. They specifically stated this was NOT to come from a teacher or school person. It had to be a personal reference. She used our neighbors also…she was their babysitter for a long time and they knew her well (she got the scholarship, by the way).</p>

<p>I agree…letter two is better. Letter one just blabs on and on…and isn’t very succinct.</p>