Just saying that I think that’s a terrible strategy. I understand that you may be stuck with a school that’s not your first choice, if that’s the only place he gets in . . . but he is also likely to be stuck with a school that’s not his first choice, and he’s the one that’s going to have to choose between several, perhaps less than ideal, options. To decide, at the end, that the one he chooses isn’t good enough for you seems cruel. If there’s a school on his list that you’re really not willing to pay for, then say so up front, and don’t let him apply. But don’t pull the rug out from under him in April.</p>
<p>If you need to, designate several schools, ahead of time, as options if and only if $XXXX in merit aid comes through. I did that with my kid - but only for a school that he applied to EA and received merit award notification prior to Christmas. So, when the merit award didn’t come through, he crossed this school off his list before most of his remaining applications were even due.</p>
<p>And let me be clear that I would not be saying this if you’d decided to simply set an absolute cap on spending and told your son that up front. But to say that you’d be willing to pay more for some schools (that you approve of) than others (that you don’t) really seems destined to set him up for heartbreak.</p>
<p>@dodgersmom you are correct and in the end, I hope it is a family decision that everyone can be agreeable about. And when we are deciding whether school X is worth paying 60k for, we will definitely be figuring “fit” for DS2 into the mix, not just prestige of the university or how I feel about the university. The discussion will hopefully be heavily weighted on fit for DS2 and if the BEST fit for him costs 60K with little aid, then it is possible that he will go there. However, if, as I suspect this will turn out, in April he will be looking at several tier 2 and 3 schools in terms of “Fit” (in his opinion), it will make much more sense to choose one that is financially attractive. I just feel bad that the first 3 kids did not have to consider cost at all.</p>
<p>And the reason that DS1 got to choose Brown ED without a thought about cost was that DH had never dealt with this college app process before and both of us were a bit naive about the FA stuff. He was under the misimpression that since we were savings poor (from trying to support his business), colleges would “make it rain” and throw money at us. Instead, my very decent salary prevents us from getting any financial aid (other than the 15K my university kicks in as tuition assistance) when we have only one kid in school. We will have to borrow a lot as DS2 private high school tuition is 37K this year, in addition to the DS1 45k to Brown.</p>
<p>It sounds like you should be able to pay DS2’s costs. The $37,000 you are paying this year for private high school can be diverted to college costs, hopefully. Add the $15,000 tuition benefit you get for college from your employer, and you have $52,000. If your son takes the $5500 Direct Loan, that should do it at many, if not most places.</p>
<p>The key here…your son and you need to be receptive to looking at some excellent schools that previously were not on your radar screen. They are out there…lots of them. You all just need to go into this with a completely blank slate, and an open mind. </p>
<p>I’m not sure why your son wouldn’t consider a school like University of Alabama? What about some other OOS publics like Miami of Ohio? </p>
<p>Look at the Colleges That Change Lives book…some excellent schools there that totally fly under the radar screen.</p>
<p>You should be careful about identifying your son’s high school, and therefore making it easy to identify your son. It took me all of 10 seconds to identify the school. </p>
<p>I find It VERY hard to believe that this highly prestigious prep school doesn’t have school counselors who are providing a list of target schools for this student. </p>
<p>OP…has your son’s school counselor worked with you to generate a target lost of,schools? Usually these private schools have excellent college counseling services.</p>
<p>I know it is not hard to identify the school and if anyone identifies the kid, that is fine. At such a small school, I doubt it is a secret. Unfortunately, everyone knows everyone and everything. The dis committee is mostly kids. (I have heard multiple times over the yrs from my own kids when someone else gets suspended…and my kids were not on the commitee) When it first happened, I know he was so mortified that he did not want anyone to know. But that is all secondary…he was mostly personally so ashamed about what he did. Our punishment, essentially grounded for life, (bc we cancelled driving school), was much worse than anyone finding out. In my house, a kid must be so completely trustworthy to be given the privilege to drive bc if they make bad decisions in a car, they can kill themselves or others. Now, nine months later, he will get a few driving lessons…</p>
<p>@thumper1 Yes, we do have a great group of college counselors and I had one in-person mtg with her in the Spring, but he had neither his ACT scores nor junior yr grades (All A’s), so it was a bit hard to guestimate target schools. But they are definitely great - even though I was away in Chile right after this happened, I skyped with the CC and she was completely reassuring and will help HIM thru the process, but CC helps me. Unfortunately, they are not really available during the summer even to him, and I am trying to plan some college visits now. I am the one with all of the anxiety now and we are setting aside a week in August where my son will not go to work and will instead do as much as possible on his college apps and supplements which is why I asked the original ? on CC. I am also interested in which schools on his list do interviews that count, but I know I can find that info from Common Data Set; as one poster reasonably pointed out, interviews can possibly help in this type of situation.</p>
<p>It seems to me that looking for “easy out” applications (eg, no supplement required) without regard to whether it is a school he would have applied to initially is just showing him that taking the shortcut is the way to go (which is what got him in trouble to start with). We see a lot of students, especially those desperate for financial aid, who do something like 18 applications, and they grind through all of the required supplements to meet their goals. Don’t see why your student shouldn’t do the same. Also, setting aside a whole week (!) to do his search in August is pretty slim. Again… students who need to apply to a lot of colleges are generally hustling early and for long periods of time to research and work on their applications. </p>
<p>I might feel differently if you had come out and posted his stats & preferred major, and ask for more help identifying matches and safeties for them so he would have more schools he might actually want to attend to consider. But you just want easy applications and (apparently) low cost because only Ivies are worth paying full price for in your mind. Pushing for prestige and looking for shortcuts is how it appears from here.</p>
<p>@intparent - Kenyon dropped the supplement last year, hence the 63% increase in applications. I agree that OP’s S would be better served by completing the supplements and more carefully selecting schools with regard to fit and liklihood of acceptance. </p>
<p>@intparent I think you are grossly misjudging what is going on here. We have thought long and hard about which schools will be good fits for him. In the end, many schools will fit about 75% of what he is looking for and he will be able to take advantage of what is good at every place and make the best of what is not so good at whatever schools he gets into. His perfect school is <4 hours from home in CT, 2.5k-10k undergrads, in a small city, with a club water polo team, and good for psych/neuroscience PhD applicants. If you read my initial post, he will work very hard to do supplemental apps for his top 10-12 schools, but at some point, he may run out of time and steam, and bc he has to do 50% more apps than his peers, I thought that all things being equal, it may be preferable to have a few of these extra schools be those that do not have long supplemental apps. All of these schools (after his top 10-12 choices) will be 6 of one, half dozen of the other. I really feel that most students can easily find 50 colleges that will fit them 75% and since he is still a pleuripotent stem cell, what he thinks is better for him now may be completely different once he is in school. At this point, Muhlenberg and Lafayette are pretty equal to him and there is no way to know which would ultimately be better for him. But I bet that both hit 75% of what he is looking for and he would be able to cut his path going to either one. And if they were both #18 on his list, he would do well to choose the one that has no supplemental app if it is an early November week and he has AP physics test, calc test, Shakespeare paper and 2 water polo games out of state that week. </p>
<p>I do not want him spending his entire fall doing apps. He needs to concentrate on his coursework (at his school, even 7th graders have 3-4 hours hw per night!), his fall sport (which has him traveling HOURS two game days a week bc the prep schools in his athletic league are HOURS away), plus he works in a lab. He may actually want to see some friends occasionally. He may have to study for standardized tests. He may want to do his driving school. There is really no time at his school for doing large numbers of college apps in the fall. (That is how he got into trouble last year - he got overwhelmed with schoolwork after missing 10 days of school with the relentless pace there…so I do not see how he will have a lot of time to do 50% more apps than his peers too). Every single kid who has graduated from this school has said that college was EASY compared to this HS, so I am not all that worried that he will be overwhelmed by the work at most colleges. </p>
<p>barbfam, is he going to retake the ACT? Any chance of pulling up a couple of points with some prep targeted to a section that is pulling down his composite, for example? Not that his score isn’t good already, of course, but it could make a difference in his chances at some schools that would be good fits. </p>
<p>Leaving the supplement issue aside, have you considered the University of Rochester? It is in that mid-sized university sweet spot that is hard to find, a very strong school in broad areas (including, I would guess, his field of interest), and within driving range of CT, although obviously not less than 4 hours away. (I have no idea what the status of water polo is there.)</p>
<p>Virginia Polytechnic Institute has a Supplement but its very simple, and it does not use the CommonApp. The school itself is excellent and great for engineering and business for undergraduate degrees if OOS is not a problem for you. </p>
<p>@consolation Yes he is waiting for his June ACT scores (still!) and hopefully they are a bit higher than April. And he is spending some of the summer studying for a possible September retake if need be. June ACT’s WERE right after his semester ended and he (re)took them with only minimal practice but felt it worth his time to take them bc that test administration sends the actual tests and answer sheet. On his first attempt, his math score was a bit weak, but that should be able to be improved with some directed studying. He is a good independent worker and I have hired a very good tutor to help him in August once he does what he can on his own.</p>
<p>And yes, Rochester was on the list that his CC gave him. It is a bit too cold, and there is no water polo, but hits most of what else he is looking for, esp academically, which he realizes is the priority. Virginia Polytechnic is a place he can look into. Don’t know much about it, but I am sure that he could carve out a niche for himself there as well. Warmer than Rochester, but again, I think no water polo. He is definitely not engineering, but I am sure they have neuroscience, or at least psych.</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d ditch the idea of 18 schools entirely. I don’t think any of my kids (ranging from the highly organized/great time management skills down to the totally disorganized) could have pulled off a senior year with 18 applications hanging over their head.</p>
<p>I recognized that you’ve got a number of issues you are trying to manage simultaneously, but 18 seems crazy.</p>
<p>Agree with the advice above to find one rolling/safety type school which you can afford- apply there on August 1st. Get admitted. Boom- your safety is covered.</p>
<p>After that, you can more selectively compare and contrast the rest of the list- maybe 9 more schools to cover off the matchier/reachier schools but maybe fewer?</p>
<p>Brown used to have someone in the alumni office who did free college counseling. If that person is still there- I’d make an in-person meeting my A priority. NOT because he or she can get your kid into Brown- that’s not the goal (although I believe this person will likely tell your son if it’s even worth applying. And if they tell you it’s not worth it- than barring a miracle with his scores, don’t bother). One of my kids (who was not interested in Brown) did one of these meetings and found it really helpful. Some “insider” advice, and even suggested some colleges which were not on the radar screen from the guidance counselor. And I think you will get an unvarnished opinion about the disciplinary action and how relevant it’s going to be, all things being equal. And it’s the first person who suggested “Love Thy Safety” as the first step vs. “go fall in love with Harvard and Princeton and then try to find a school you love just as much but which is easier to get into and cheaper”. We all know how THAT works out!</p>
<p>I also agree with the advice to be very clear with your son on the finances. The kids who post here in April that mom and dad have concluded that it’s not “worth” paying for dream school now that the numbers have come in are really pathetic. I wouldn’t have a problem telling a 17 year old, “We will need X in aid to make Y college fit our budget, and if X doesn’t materialize, Y is off the table”. That’s a good, clear message.</p>
<p>Telling a kid, “Apply to 18 schools and once your acceptances are in, I’ll do the math and figure out which ones are “worth it” based on what they’ve offered and how I feel about the college” is a very different message. Especially if the sibs (step and otherwise) were not given similar constraints.</p>
<p>Brown does still have a college counseling service for children of alumni. They don’t operate in the summer, so you’d have to make an appointment for the fall. I’ll second blossom’s recommendation that you set up a meeting for your son, for all her reasons. </p>
<p>OTOH, I don’t think 18 apps is that crazy – I know kids who did that who didn’t have all the issues that your son has. For kids aiming for highly selective schools, 12-15 apps is becoming the norm. (I’m not saying I endorse this strategy, just that it’s happening a lot more frequently today). </p>
<p>What colleges has the school suggested he should apply to that would be likely admits? I find it hard to believe that this school, knowing the situation he is in, would not have already made numerous suggestions on where he should apply where his “problem” would not be a problem. </p>
<p>Also, is his suspension going to be anywhere on his transcript, or in recommendation from his GC? I find it hard to believe the GC’s LOR won’t mention it somewhere - so I don’t think apps without asking the question are going to do you any good. I also find it hard to believe his school told him he needs to apply to 50% more than his peers. </p>