<p>I’m applying to BU and they ask me to write a paragraph with no more than 250 words on Why BU is a good fit for you and what had led you to the application. I’m an international student and have been studying in Boston for 2 years. I’ve never visited BU; therefore; it’s hard to write this. But anyway, I wrote mine:
Every international student have one dream and biggest goal: scholarship. I was born in a developing country; therefore; the thirst of achieving a higher education along with getting scholarship has been shaped. I came to this foreign country two years ago, being naive and simple, I aimed for scholarship right away. That was when Boston University came to my eyes. I saw a poster of the school hanging on my high school’s wall. To be honest, the word “trustee scholarship” has attracted me. I started to learn about the school by internet. Yet, as I was finding out more about the school, I realized that scholarship is not the only factor to choose a school. I became impressed with the school’s educational system. It has variety majors.In addition, BU has the college art and science which allows me to take courses in BU and other colleges. Since I was a child, art has always been my enthusiasm and so does science. Yet, this started to confuse me when It comes to choosing majors. That was when I found Boston University is a best fit for me. I found my major " graphic design/ art& sciences". The school also have the variety of international student; therefore; I think it would be place for me to get in line easily, to have new friends with same goal and motivations. </p>
<p>is this paragraph too vague and what can I do to better it? thank you for your help</p>
<p>1) You really shouldn’t be posting essays/supplements on public boards - anyone could outright steal your essays, not to mention it is virtually impossible for BU to discern whether or not the essay you submitted was posted or stolen by you from a practically anonymous College Confidential account. </p>
<p>2) The paragraph is incredibly vague. (Sounds harsh, but it is what it is.) Here’s the thing. BU is a school in Boston. There are lots and lots of schools in Boston; some of the best schools in the world are within a three to five mile radius of Boston University. Boston University wants to know why you are interested in BU <em>specifically.</em> If you could replace the word “BU” with “BC” “Brandeis” “NYU” or “Northeastern” and the essay still makes sense, then you didn’t accomplish the task at hand. All of the things you listed are more or less universal. All schools have lots of majors; a lot of schools allow cross registration amongst institutional colleges - heck, some schools allow cross registration at other schools entirely (5 college consortium in Western MA; Harvard/MIT cross registration, etc). Every school in Boston has TONS of international students. The University of Massachusetts Boston has 1,000 students from China alone. Northeastern is the same way, so is BC. You need to find out what makes BU distinct from every other school and why your learning experience there will be special/unique from a learning experience at BC or Northeastern or NYU or Miami or USC or (insert literally any other urban research university in the country.) </p>
<p>dot add this sentence: To be honest, the word “trustee scholarship” has attracted me. and dont say your goal is a scholarship. BU i heard is not a school that gives the most scholarship awards…maybe say how your goal is to help society or something</p>