In the time that I’ve been on these boards (and in discussions with prospective parents at the school DS attended), I noticed that parents who are in the exploration/application (i.e. pre-attendance) phase of the BS experience value different criteria in evaluating schools than parents whose kids have graduated. This frequently comes up in discussions about college matriculation data, but I’d be curious to know from all of you whose kids have graduated what factors led you to the school you chose, and if you were talking to prospective parents now, are those the things you’d emphasize or has something else shown itself to be more valuable. Likewise, if your child is at school now, are your goals for the school still the same? And lastly, if you’re looking at schools, what attributes of a school are most compelling to you?
I’ve realized, for example, when I talk to parents who are prospective applicants to the school DS attended, I am far more likely to go on (and on!) about the culture/values of the school and the kind of people the students become while they are there rather than the academics. Academics figured prominently into our selection process (and we weren’t disappointed at all in this respect) while personal growth was more of a hope. What have other people’s experience with this been? And to be clear, I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with the shift in priorities (where there has been one) as curiosity about the evolution of attitudes as the process unfolds.
Every school has problems or imperfections, and St. Andrew’s (DE) is no exception. When searching for application schools, we chose the “most academic” and well-resourced schools within a geographic area closer to home (i.e., no NE schools, but mid-Atlantic). What we grew to appreciate before the final decision was made was how powerfully Tad Roach affects the school culture, and students, at SAS. That largely drove the choice made by our eldest. And in the years since two kids started there, our experience has powerfully validated the important role of “culture” while we haven’t really quibbled with whether we “lost” any academic edge. To that point, you choose a school, and the one or several that are bypassed cease to matter (for the vast majority, I suspect). You’ll never know what the alternative experience/s would have been, so why lose sleep over it? The kids gets into a college, probably likes it, and you really don’t care about the matriculation lists you pored over back in eighth grade during the prep school process.
2 Likelihood of finding her social group with intellectual curiosity
3 Has a ceramics lab?
4 Offers 4+ science courses beyond honors (AP or advanced)
5 Sports: Rock climbing or horse riding?
Matriculation data was looked with interest, but it really didn’t mean much because students all have different background. Not that I wan’t interested in my daughter’s college prospect. But matriculation data isn’t a good indicator unless it is far more detailed with far more larger sample size.
My kid has not graduated yet, but answering anyway.
The entire purpose of boarding school for us was initially academic challenge and course offerings beyond what could be obtained locally. Initially, this was disappointing and some courses were less rigorous than local options and the requirements allowed for minimal academic stretching. This has improved as more flexibility and more specific options have become available over time. This year, academics except for English have exceeded expectations.
I suppose I hoped for “growth” but I think all kids grow immensely during high school, so this isn’t unique to boarding school. What has been a very unexpected pleasant surprise for us has been the non-academic but formal offerings – sports, music, clubs, leadership opportunities. These have been rather extraordinary IMHO and even justified the boarding school decision when courses were not offering as much as had been hoped. My child has also benefitted greatly from being more independent and responsible for decision making without much help from parents.
It will be interesting to see if all these opportunities eventually make it better for the kid to plan a future that meets all dreams and expectations. It is too soon to tell now whether these offerings will coalesce into a clear plan and goals and whether the boarding school will be helpful in getting to those goals – whether college admissions or music performance or other.
@gardenstategal, Like you, we focused quite a bit on academics, as that was probably the main reason my children wanted to go to boarding school in the first place. Also, there are some reference points for evaluating academic quality, even if they don’t tell much of the story. We were at least equally concerned with school culture, but that is difficult to evaluate other than by gut impressions. By definition, just by going to boarding school,our children have entered a different culture than that of their parents. We certainly did not want that culture to be completely incompatible with our own practices and values. (And a few things are…such as the prep school tradition of cigars at graduation. We’ll just have to roll with it when the time comes!) Luckily, our son’s gut impression of where he wanted to go to school ended up being the place he got in and where we always felt happiest and most comfortable.
Here’s something from a little piece by Mercersburg’s new head of school that was published today in the parent newsletter (I will paraphrase a little to shorten it): Mercersburg students truly love the school!, are curious about the world, are driven AND happy, are kind, have a unique ability to interact with adults, and are comfortable being themselves. This was her assessment after spending a couple of days shadowing students in an effort to get to know more about the school. It pleased me very much to read this, because all these characteristics are true of my children and seem to be true of the few other students I’ve met at Mercersburg. I liked hearing that these are pervasive parts of the school culture. They are not so pervasive in the public high school my daughter attended freshman year…especially the happy.
I’ve been somewhat diffident about talking to friends and relatives about boarding school. I expect I always will be, to some extent. But the longer my children progress through high school, the better I should be able to wax rhapsodic on all the benefits of the experience (for anyone who really wants to know), particularly the intangible benefits students derive from living among so many interesting, intelligent, decent adults who are not their parents. It’s all that I hoped…except for the way I miss my kids.
I have to concur with the above posters. For me, my number 1, and 2 reasons were academic challenge and advanced course offerings. My other reasons are pretty much not applicable, as they were logistics-based, and unique to my living situation.
I will say, college matriculation data did not even enter the conversation. At 13 or 14, I was not quite that forward thinking, and as I have said on other threads, my parents, while great parents, had, and continue to have, no clue about the college process in the US; they went to college where people from their area went to college in that generation. I’m the mutant of the family.
Our evaluation criteria stayed consistent from the earliest days of researching schools to today, nine years after graduation. Yes, we initially checked each school’s college matriculation, SAT and SSAT stats just to be sure we were in the right ballpark. Our view was that as long as the school’s results placed it among the top 25 or so, we were perfectly content. We feel very differently from parents/kids who allow stats to have an outsized influence on their decision-making. For us, the huge driver was school culture because that does more to influence WHO your kid turns out to be after four years than almost anything else. What good is a well educated and miserable child? We expected the boarding school experience to be challenging in every regard, but wanted it to be positive and happy.
Personal growth/maturity/independence was the biggest for us. We also wanted a dynamic yet kind and inclusive culture. DS is not a strong student, and so neither academics nor college stats mattered to us (though the robust-ness of the college counseling/prep process DID, since he needs all the help he can get). We wanted a place where he could learn to be successful on his own, where he could take responsibility for his own stuff (from laundry to sleep habits to time management and HW, to writing and editing his own papers). He needed a place where he could do all this and where failing at any one piece wouldn’t be disastrous…because there are adults there who are very invested in his success (unlike at college). So, that’s a long way of saying we were looking for a culture that encouraged his growth.
We initially choose Exeter for academic opportunities. Our son is PG and we had tried all different types of schools to keep him from getting bored. (parochial, magnet, home, virtual). He had been subject accelerated and offered early admission to the best prep high school in our town.
We didn’t want him to rush through high school and miss out on a “high school experience”. He also had made few close friends and liked all subjects - but hadn’t found any one that he was passionate about- so we wanted him to try new things he wouldn’t be exposed to in our hometown.
2.5 years post graduation, the thing we appreciated most was the ability for our son to have a global view of the world. He made friends from all over the world. World news became real to him as his friends were impacted by it. He also spent a term abroad in the Bahamas learning about sustainable living, went to the phillipines to shoot a documentary with classmates and backpacked around Europe after graduation with friends from school. This global view shaped the person he would become.
Another unexpected benefit, in the high pressure setting of Exeter, our son stayed true to his nature and refused to become competitive with his friends. He walked his own path and the greatest compliment we received from one of his teachers was when she told us- " we have lots of smart kids at Exeter and lots of kind kids here, but we rarely see both combined like we do in your son". I would say Exeter taught him that he was part of a global community of diverse individuals and not the center of it.
I don’t remember what criteria was used during the search (we only knew about a handful of schools, so kiddo applied to those), but crew was, without a doubt, the best thing our son took away from BS hands down. And that is his opinion, too. He will row competitively or for personal pleasure for the rest of his life.
Academic excellence was a given for us, but beyond that, we were particularly concerned to find a school with a culture that encouraged and enabled kids to try new things and not be afraid of failing or looking silly. We wanted a school where the football or hockey players also do theater, where the artsy kids are also into science, and where friend groups did not have an aura of exclusivity. Happily, we found such a place, and it is still what I like best about the school.
@ThacherParent … DC is a freshman and we will see how the process unfolds, but wanted to say agree 100% with your comment. We too valued school culture (after doing initially screening as you noted) and so far, so good
