<p>I am posting this here because I feel like you will all have more experience and insight on the whole situation. </p>
<p>At the end of the first semester, my parents sat me down to talk about "Second Semester Senior Syndrome." They explained that they were very proud of me, but that I needed to be careful because every year, like clockwork, something happens to ruin the joyous, ethereal feeling that comes with the end of senior year.</p>
<p>A few years ago, a car full of seniors hit a tree (all were completely sober) and all were killed instantly. And now, one of my friends shot themself today with less than 30 days of school left. </p>
<p>I know I am going through the grieving process, but I just can't comprehend this. Do tragedies like this happen all over, or is my area just incredibly unlucky? How can a time meant to be so blissful, always turn so sour? Is it all just because of a false sense of invincibility?</p>
<p>I need some help.</p>
<p>It might be that things like this happen pretty often, but you don’t notice it until it happens to you. Chances are there are other folks around you having the same feelings- it might be worthwhile to seek them out, and you guys can support each other.</p>
<p>egershen, it is great that your parents are aware of these events and that they talk to you. I am so sorry that this has happened in your community. Tragedies like this happen all over and particularly with your friends all of you are going through some major transitions. Some handle them better than others.<br>
Please seek out mutual friends who you can talk to about this, your parents, and maybe even a counselor.<br>
Suicide is incomprehensible for everyone, adults and adolescents alike. You are not alone in feeling lost on this one.</p>
<p>Oh, hun. <em>hugs</em></p>
<p>Tragedies do indeed happen like this everywhere. My sophomore year, a young boy in my class was hit by a car that carelessly ran a stoplight. He was instantly braindead and died two days later. He never even got to drive a car, go to Winter Formal, or any of the things “normal” high schoolers get to do.</p>
<p>If you start feeling really depressed, PLEASE, get help. I’ve been there, and there’s no “just snap out of it”. You can’t hold it inside…you’re already doing great by bringing it up here.</p>
<p>It’s little consolation now, but things will get better. Try and keep busy…bury yourself in clubs and schoolwork.</p>
<p>Also, try and see if your school will do something for those kids at graduation. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your school in this difficult time. <333</p>
<p>Son of Opie is right. You don’t notice the bad stuff until it happens to you.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear about your friend.<br>
Your high school is likely to offer some grief counseling. Be sure to take advantage of it right away.<br>
If they don’t offer it, ask to speak with the school psychologist as soon as possible.<br>
If your school doesn’t have one, ask your parents to help you find a professional to talk to. They won’t have all the answers that you are looking for, but they will help you make some sense out of a world that has come crashing down.</p>
<p>Oh I’m sorry if I was misuderstood. I have dealt with close deaths before, and I am not shy about seeking help. </p>
<p>But I’m wondering if this “Second Semester Senior Syndrome” is a widespread thing, or just confined to my little bubble of a town?</p>
<p>I think that depends…here, it’s more of an academic-centered thing in that a lot of kids slack off second semester and risk not graduating. We don’t get a whole lot of tragedies like that here, but it does happen sometimes.</p>
<p>egershen, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know it is hard to wrap your mind around, and I hope you will be kind to yourself, and take solace in your family and friendships over the coming weeks. Hugs to you, and your community.</p>
<p>It does affect everyone. S best bud died in a swimming accident when S was 15. S gave the eulogy for the HS. It was helpful for him to release his emotions constructively.</p>
<p>Yeah, you have to ask where is God in all of this?</p>
<p>I know it’s a cliche, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. He shares your sorrows, but rejoice that they’re in a better place. 
They have found true peace and are at home with their other loved ones who are in heaven.</p>
<p>That’s very mysterious indeed. Children being murdered, poverty-stricken areas being hit by tsunamis and hurricanes again and again, genocides taking place. Hmmm. So if your mother is run over by a car tomorrow, you’ll be rejoicing that she’s in a better place?</p>
<p>Actually, yes I would. I can’t wait to go home and be with God and all my other “lost” loved ones.</p>
<p>Also, you have to realize that God doesn’t murder children or say “Oh, here, this group of people should kill this group of people.”</p>
<p>People murder people. People kill each other. We have free will. Would you rather that nothing bad ever happened? How would we recognize good without the bad to contrast it with?</p>
<p>Also…why is it that if something good happens to someone, everyone’s all “Wow, how great, they really deserved that, they worked hard, blahblahblah”. But as soon as something bad happens, it’s God’s fault? Hm.</p>
<p>egershen - unfortunately, it happens everywhere… from the poorest slums to the richest suburbs, from rural areas, to large cities. There’s just no way to avoid these events without completely isolating yourself from the world. Some people do that - they choose to withdraw from the world, emotionally, rather than face any future pain… but schools are generally pretty good about providing support and grief counseling. I will say that suicide in particular has its own set of reactions and responses that aren’t experienced when someone dies as the result of an accident or illness. Hopefully the school will consult with someone who has experience working with survivors of a loved one who suicided. </p>
<p>Sanjenferrer - to answer your question. God is crying along with everyone who is grieving over this tragic loss. God doesn’t willingly inflict pain on anyone, and therefore suffers when we do.</p>
<p>I would caution against moving past the grieving too quickly for rejoicing. We can celebrate a person’s life, but I think for most people, unless their loved one has suffered a long, chronic illness, it’s very normal to be selfish and wish that person was still with them as opposed to with God. Again, suiciding has its own set of complicated processing issues, so please talk with someone who can understand that. Anger toward God can be a very healthy, appropriate response; and that’s usually what’s at the heart of someone who asks where is God.</p>
<p>Sanjenferrer–This shouldn’t become a God/religion debate—I suggest if you want to discuss this, you start a separate thread.</p>
<p>To the OP, those who’ve said that it when you experience losses like this, it really does change how you see the world. We’ll be thinking of you,and hoping the best for you. All the bad things really get magnified when you’re affected personally. Regarding your questions specifically about the “syndrome”, it generally reflects the careless activities/attitudes that kids tend to feel. It’s perfectly normal for the feeling of “invincibility” to be around during these years of a person’s life. Unfortunately, the real world usually comes around in some way, that rocks you to your core. </p>
<p>Best wishes as you work through this…</p>
<p>Second semester senior/college is nothing magical. Neither is second semester senior/high school. It’s just that these are cherished transitional times and when we see these tragedies at these transitional times it maybe just seems more poignant. Don’t get me wrong a tragedy is still a tragedy but there is something about these coming of age, finally get something going, just got married, just got divorced, just started a family, just back from Iraq, 50th wedding anniversary deaths that just twist your gut a little bit more. </p>
<p>When I think of my D’s classmate who died driving around the arms of railroad crossing I think " Man. He was on his way to college to play baseball". I think of John Lennon and I think. " He finally looked at peace with himself and then that idiot shot him."</p>
<p>I could be wrong, but I think the incidence of these tragedies is the same, it’s just the way we view them.</p>
<p>(OP, Talk to your friends. Don’t be alone too much. Watch the booze (and anything else). Give yourself permission to feel like %^$%. If you need help ask. Good luck. )</p>
<p>I feel for you. My 17 year old nephew died in a car crash a year ago May 18. I do think kids are more careless this time of year. It is spring and everyone is just a little more excited and energetic than they are during the winter.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry about your friend. My daughter’s best friend died in an accident 7 weeks ago today, and I know what she’s been going through. It’s awful. You are in shock right now, especially since this is something so unbelievably tragic. Some things just can’t be explained, especially something as awful as suicide. My heart goes out to you, your friend’s family, and everyone at your school.</p>
<p>Egershen: How are you doing today? You are living through a terrible ordeal right now. I am so sorry for that. It seems you are asking excellent questions to try and understand what has happened. </p>
<p>Your parents were wise to warn you about possible pitfalls this time of year. Suicide is something very difficult to understand. The survivors ask “why” and a common answer is that they felt there was no other way. Did your friend feel this way because he/she was a senior? You may never know.</p>
<p>You may feel like tragedy is lying in wait for you, but remember you do have a lot of control over what happens to you, depending on the choices and decisions you make. But I don’t want to preach. You sound like you are hurt and scared and confused. I really hope your parents are there for you, and/or a counselor. Please let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>Egershen, I am so sorry. Something like this came very close to our family and the pain and sorry can’t be described with words. Your friend’s death will never make sense because it just doesn’t make any sense. But the good things that were in your life before this happened are still good and still real. It may be a while before you feel good about them again, but, I promise you, you will. For my family, it became a time when we all became so much closer and came to value each day that we had together so much more. I found, in time, that a lot of the little stuff that used to bug me just didn’t bug me any more. The clarity of how precious life is and how special it is to be a family has been a gift that I hope to keep with me every day of my life. </p>
<p>You have already taken a very wise step to reach out like you have here. Stay close to those that love you, let them help you and support you through this dark time. Just make it through today, that’s all you have to do. It will get light again.</p>