Why do they always hate my essays?

<p>I got a 9 and an 8, respectively. However, the 8 essay was much better than the 9 essay: more concise, more elaborate, etc. As you can tell, I don’t think highly of this section. ;)</p>

<p>-Tips for getting a high SAT essay score-</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Don’t write earnestly. That is, if you’re writing like what a 12 would get then that’s probably a bad thing. A friend of mine who wrote a 12 SAT essay wrote a similar essay in college and got a D.</p></li>
<li><p>Be lengthy. Seriously, use glaringly bookish transition phrases like “to be sure” when you can and use large vocabulary whenever the opportunity presents itself. If you’re thinking about using the completely understandable “rarely,” use “seldom” instead. </p></li>
<li><p>If you can find the time to implement literary techniques without sounding incredibly pretentious, do so; remember, being viewed as pretentious by SAT essay graders is akin to being viewed as burly by Russian prison inmates.</p></li>
<li><p>Read “Politics and the English Language” by Orwell and do the opposite of what he says to do. ;)</p></li>
<li><p>Get a good MC score! Seriously, I got an 80, which, with an 8 essay, gave me a 770–still a very good score. Getting an 80 is surprisingly easy because you use English on a daily basis, so implementing SAT writing grammar and noticing errors becomes natural. Buy “Grammar Workbook for the SAT, ACT, and more…,” it’s a very effective book.</p></li>
</ol>