I can understand that, but isn’t that one of the main purposes of going to college, to get out of your comfort zone? Gawd forbid that college becomes an extension of high school or whatever environment you felt most comfortable.
If people look at you like you’re crazy(your words, not mine), then that seems to me to be the perfect time and situation to take advantage of the diversity and educate them, or simply learn for yourself to not care about what others do or think.</p>
<p>MissJay- being a black female does NOT require needing to sleep with a silk scarf on your head- there is no medical reason to do so. Perhaps your hairstyle does best with a acarf so you don’t mess it with pressure- why silk specifically? And- who sees you when you’re sleeping, or if they see you on the way to bed, who cares? I have an ancient picture of someone in the dorm with huge rollers- I used rollers every night in HS to curl my hair, quit in college.</p>
<p>Being a “lonely only” is no fun, why not get together for meals with those like yourself after the time spent feeling different?</p>
<p>Ok, yes, there is no medical reason to sleep in a silk scarf. Perhaps Miss Jay goes to school in a place where there is no place locally to get her hair done (it was definitely an issue for my daughter when she was at college). I was texting with my daughter the other day who told me she was at the salon getting her hair done. She said that she was almost finished, but she had been at the salon for almost 2 hours . When she told me this, my response was that she was making good time.</p>
<p>Miss Jay (along with my daughter) probably wears her hair in a wrapped style and sleeping in a scarf helps preserve the style, keeps their hair from going flat and maintaining body and movement in the hair. </p>
<p>Sleeping in a silk scarf specifially because it helps to maintain shiny soft hair, body and movement in the hair, protects hair from the friction and breakage that can result from sleeping on a cotton pillowcase, helps keep the natural oils in your hair and not on the pillowcase (cotton scarves and pillowcases draw moisture out). Yes, this is probably more than you wanted to know and you would be suprised at the questions black women are asked about their hair.</p>
<p>" As a black female, I have to sleep with a silk scarf on my head. If I’m around people of other races, I usually put a hoodie over my scarf because they look at me like I’m crazy. If I’m around other black people, I just wear my scarf because they understand."</p>
<p>Are you talking about a hijab, or is this something else?</p>
<p>Black hair can be difficult and very, very fragile. Black women wear silk scarves for two reasons: to prevent their hairstyle from disintegrating completely (so that they need not spend hours the next day doing it again) and to prevent their hair from the damage that comes from tossing in turning in bed.</p>
<p>"Should parents discourage their kids from attending school that have relatively few URMs, such as Villanova, because they lack diversity? "
-This is very personal stand. It is superficial reason for some which has deep meanning for others.</p>
<p>"but i also don’t have chemically-treated hair. "</p>
<p>I don’t either. Gave up on that 20 years ago. Still “need” the scarf. Actually a “bonnet”, guaranteed to keep by hair growing long, shiny, bouncin’ and behavin’. Except I have “two strand twists”.</p>
<p>When my daughter spent a summer in Africa she discovered a side of the whole complex issue of race she didn’t expect. </p>
<p>Being white in an all-black African community gave her a world of insight into what it might feel like to be black in overwhelmingly white American communitiy. She discovered what it feels like when you can’t blend in or hide. When your very presence is noticed just beause you’re radically different looking. </p>
<p>This is a side of the ‘diversity’ coin few white people ever really experience. Too bad. It was eye-opening for my child.</p>
<p>I gave up the creamy crack a few years ago - thank god. I do not wear a scarf anymore, not that I wore one particularly often when I was supposed to, anyway.</p>
<p>Presume people knew I understood there are reasons to use a scarf for sleeping. My problem is that the woman feels she has to hide her use of the scarf. I would expect it would generate questions that would inform those without her hair type how she deals with hers. My message to her is -don’t be self conscious about your hair care. Most entering college will have many areas of naivete- we take our own body types for granted and a part of the nonacademic college experience is learning about differences as well as similarities.</p>
<p>My last permanent was a bit before my marriage eons ago. My H, from a curly haired family, likes straight hair although I won’t grow it long like I wore it in college before I met him- too much trouble to wash and dry (his curls have gone-a victim of male pattern baldness). His niece has an iron to straighten her hair, I once owned a curling iron. Funny how we try to change our hair from its natural state- curly/straight instead of living with it. I still remember the frizzy perms my mom always had (she died in her 50’s so I couldn’t see if she would ever change habits)- now I see more older women living with their straight hair.</p>
<p>I see self segregation mentioned often. It is too bad this happens outside of class…better to get to know a variety of people. An important point is that students cannot self segregate in the classroom. Class discussions should be improved greatly if the participants are coming from different backgrounds and experiences (cultural, geographic, socio-economic).</p>
<p>"Class discussions should be improved greatly if the participants are coming from different backgrounds and experiences (cultural, geographic, socio-economic). "</p>
<p>who says that’s not the case? just because some students “self-segregate” (if in fact they do) doesn’t mean that affects class discussion…</p>
<p>There are many students that live in a bubble and no matter how smart in some areas, lack education in others.
My family members and their friends have gone to various colleges in the North East and have heard so many (for them) odd comments from students that came from mostly white middle to upper class schools.
Some things that were said: A Columbian young man and a black young man, who did not look mixed at all were asked “Are you adopted” because they didn’t think their family could afford the college. A young man from Africa was asked his feet hurt after walking a lot because he wasn’t used to wearing shoes all day. Another black young man was asked if he was glad to get out of his neighborhood and he asked why, it was very nice. The Asian stereotypes were abundant also, along with religious and lifestyle assumptions. Some were so embarassing, my daughter didn’t want to repeat them because friends thought she was making it up.
I think although some students self-segragate, many don’t. My children have not found that to be the case at their colleges and sometimes learning about others comes in small interactions.
We were very lucky to bring our children up in a “melting pot” and they learned a lot by watching and interacting with others. Not everyone has that opportunity though.</p>
<p>Wow I didn’t know this was going to become a discussion about my hair. Just to clarify, I do not perm my hair nor have I ever permed my hair.
It’s funny you should mention that. I went to school in the 2nd most diverse district in the country. Diversity IS my comfort zone. Me getting out of my comfort zone would be going to an HBCU. Yes you should go to college and get out of your comfort zone but that doesn’t mean you should be uncomfortable all day everyday. Yes, you should experience new things but that doesn’t mean you should just abandon all of the things you liked before. </p>
<p>
You’re right, there’s no medical reason to do so, but if I want my hair to look nice when I wake up, I have to wear a scarf. There’s no medical reason for me to wear deodorant, but if I don’t want to be musty, I have to wear deodorant. </p>
<p>
I just don’t think it’s an attractive look. I look unattractive with a scarf on. Other women look unattractive with a scarf on. It’s not a good look. I like looking pretty. Big whoop.</p>
<p>“I see self segregation mentioned often. It is too bad this happens outside of class…better to get to know a variety of people. An important point is that students cannot self segregate in the classroom. Class discussions should be improved greatly if the participants are coming from different backgrounds and experiences (cultural, geographic, socio-economic).”</p>
<p>Where I go is supposedly 9% URM (presumably the majority of that are Black students), but I look around my classes and never see any. Somehow they do it…</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, one of my discussion sections is about 80% Asian (I can count next time, but that’s pretty close). It’s weird. I think it’s even weird for some of them too.</p>
<p>When my son came home from his diverse CA UC at Christmas during his freshman year he had lots of photos to show us. He had pictures of everything (he is quite a good photographer). After spending several minutes looking over his dorm photos I asked if he noticed anything odd? He shrugged his shoulders and said–what? I pointed out that he was the only “white guy”–all the pictures were of non-white students. “Wow” he said, “I never noticed that.” He had been living with all these people for 4 months and never noticed HE was the minority. When I questioned him as to if there were any other “white males” on the dorm floor, he really had to stop to think about it (there were 3, but he didn’t know them very well). In retrospect it was such a silly question to ask him–it was a question from my generation. Maybe it’s true that someday we can live in a colorblind society–it’s already starting to happen and I am proud to say that my child is part of the change.</p>