<p>I was in a sorority in a southern, private and very conservative university. I pledged second semester sophomore year and had no trouble getting invited back to the parties day after day. </p>
<p>While I enjoyed the pledge experience very much, rush was a cattle call. Rush from the members side was even worse. It was mean and petty. Pity the girl who was deemed "unfortunate looking". There is no excuse for it. </p>
<p>Yes, there were many wonderful women I met, but I met alot of wonderful women in college. I had some fun experiences in the sorority, but I would have had fun experiences elsewhere, too. Don't do it just because everyone is doing it. Find out about it and see if it suits your values. I am not a joiner of large, highly organized and rigid women's groups.</p>
<p>Knowing what I know now, I would not repeat it or recommend it.</p>
<p>Lesser Professer said it correctly. I don't have the quote...but it's on page 1.</p>
<p>What you describe makes me cringe. That's exactly how our cheerleaders were notified who made the team and who did not...simultaneous opening of envelopes in public view of the student body. Hideous, hideous thing. Thank goodness the new principal did away with it.</p>
<p>I have issue with the sorority thing too because having dated (and later married) a fraternity guy, I was privy to their true attitude toward the sorority girls, especially those in their affiliated sorority. Let me put it this way, girlfriends and fiances got the respect, those poor sorority girls did not. Just something I'll never forget and it will probably always influence my opinions somewhat.</p>
<p>Motherdears comments above are exactly what I find distasteful about the entire sorority rush business. "Top tier" houses, getting alumni "recs", "quotos"..............too elitist and pretentious for me. But then, to each his/her own.</p>
<p>Quota does NOT mean what it does in college admissions or employment in terms of limiting or deliberately seeking out certain ethnicities, religions, geographic regions or even specific representatives of different facets of campus life. </p>
<p>What quota does is to encourage an even membership across the sororities at a particular school so that the smaller sororities have more of a fighting chance. All quota means is that the total number of PNMs that are still involved after the third round divided by the number of sororities. That means if there were 100 girls still in recruitment after the Philanthropy night and there were 5 sororities, quota would be 20. Each sorority would be able to have 20 new members. </p>
<p>Recommendations are a way to provide background on any type of applicant, whether it be for Greek Life, college admissions, or employment. </p>
<p>Top-tier is a phrase I used in response to the bottom-feeder comment. I don't like it myself as I see merits in all different sororities on a campus. Perhaps a better descriptors would be larger, more popular, higher campus profile, etc.</p>
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I remember reading a long article in the Dallas Morning News about how it's done at SMU and that is what they described....some girls leaving in tears, others squealing with joy, etc. Why would anyone go through that voluntarily?
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<p>I went to SMU, was in a sorority in the 80's and now help with recruitment events, and that is not what it is like. If a girl is not going to get a bid, she is informed by the rush counselors well before leaving her dorm for the bid day ceremony. What some girls may be upset about is that they didn't get into the sorority that was their top choice. It is mutual selection and there are only so many places in a pledge class, so many great girls end up in their second or third choice. </p>
<p>All of the houses at SMU are great and have wonderful quality women in them. Preconcieved notions of the "top houses" is what causes heartache and sadness. Most of those crying gals end up pledging and finding out that they are perfectly happy in the house that they joined. And that it is a much better fit than they ever would have thought. If not, they can drop out of pledgeship, but I knew very few who did that.</p>
<p>And the reason that so many voluntarily go through it is because sorority life, for those who want it, can very much enhance a college experience. </p>
<p>I have one son (at seiclan and doubleplay's kids' school) who decided that fraternity life was DEFINITELY not for him. He is a "surfer dude" who is very involved with his team and club, and that forms the social group that he hangs with. My second son just joined a fraternity, is going through pledgeship now, and knows that it is what he wants. </p>
<p>You know, in re reading my last post, it really is like college admissions decisions. Kids apply to what they consider their "top choice" but they also apply to some safeties. Maybe they cry when they get the small envelope telling them that they didn't get into Harvard. But, they soldier through and go to their second or third choice and end up happy. </p>
<p>Their is dissppointment in life and recruitment can just be another one.</p>
<p>Still incomprehensible....I'll let these people harrass me and haze me and possibly even abuse me, and if I last, they will consent to be my friend. How can a person even LIKE the people after that? I've just never been able to wrap my mind around it.</p>
<p>As for opening envelopes in public, is that a SOUTHERN thing? I'd never heard of such a thing, until my daughter tried out for the middle school dance team. It wasn't truly in public, just in front of all the other girls. When she tried out for the high school team, the results were posted n the web site. But when they tried out for officer, they all sat in a circle and opened their envelopes together. What is the purpose of such an exercise? (My daughter actually made officer, but she just kept her head down and tried not to make eye contact with anyone, because she knew that some of the girls were crying.)</p>
<p>I don't think it is a SOUTHERN thing. I think it is an individual school thing. At my kid's southern high school, the new dance officers are told separately. The previous year's officers go to each of the girls' houses and either congratulate them or console them, whichever the case may be.</p>
<p>Maybe you should take that up with your high school.</p>
<p>The public revelation makes me think of trying out for dance team in HS, every one is lined up and they come up behind you and tap you on the shoulder- either if you made the next round or are cut, I don't recall, but whatever, it is painfully public for those who don't make it.</p>
<p>Another reason to rush your freshman year instead of later years...
At least among fraternities, pledge classes are extremely tight knit. Pledge class activities are all designed around "bonding" the class. Most of the class is of the same age group (freshmen), so it is expected that the tighter this group, the better off the fraternity will be later on- after all, they will all move up together and form the core leadership at a later time. If someone is a sophomore (or junior), he will have less interest in bonding with a bunch of freshman.</p>
<p>It surprises me, at least from the postings on this thread, how many schools have fall rush. At my college fall rush (informal rush) was reserved for upperclassmen and was a minor affair, freshmen did formal rush in December (we were trimestered, so the 3 weeks between Tgiving and xmas were the beginning of the second trimester and the perfect time for this). I didn't intend to pledge my freshman year but when I walked in I was amazed that I already knew most of the girls in one sorority from other organizations on campus. That's where I ended up and I've never regretted it for a minute. </p>
<p>I'm now actively involved in the alumni association - we have colonized a local chapter and I work with the girls there; quite theraputic for the empty nester. All of the schools where my sorority is located (that I've run into so far) have Spring Recruitment (the name has been changed), I can't imagine rushing immediately after arriving on campus. Nor can I fathom the public distribution of bids - ours were quietly slipped under our doors Saturday morning following the Preference Parties. </p>
<p>My sorority experience was a fulfilling and educational one, and the local chapters that we oversee seem to offer similar experiences. As alumni, we mentor these girls as they set up the organization, run it, finance it, balance the books, operate social events (contracts, transportation, negotiations with campus), battle out their disagreements, find ways to settle issues, learn to contribute to society, ensure long range stability and growth for their organization . . . Gee, do they learn this much from Management 101?</p>
<p>A friend's daughter went through rush at Mizzou this year before school started. She was so excited about it, she got her first choice....and within 10 days she had "de-pledged." She had absolutely no idea how much emphasis on drinking there would be....maybe she shouldn't have been so naive, but she was. I think a second semester rush would have helped her make a more educated choice.</p>
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Still incomprehensible....I'll let these people harrass me and haze me and possibly even abuse me, and if I last, they will consent to be my friend. How can a person even LIKE the people after that? I've just never been able to wrap my mind around it.
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<p>Probably because you have such a grossly inaccurate impression of what sorority pledging is really like! (At least at most schools). Harrassing? Hazing? Abuse? What movie/book from a bygone era did you learn this from? </p>
<p>Pledging activities are intended to be fun, bonding experiences for the girls. I'm sure some bad things do happen and some girls interpret things wrong or are just not cut out for them, (i.e., I remember a couple of girls in my pledge class were absolutely humorless and ended up de-pledging because they were "horrified" that they had to braid their hair and serve the seniors their dinner like waitresses - oh the horror! But this was 30 years ago and I'm not sure that type of thing even goes on any more at most schools).</p>
<p>Again, with rare exception, greeks find their experiences overall to be positive and meaningful.</p>
<p>Girls are treated like queens during their New Member period. The NPC has very strict rules and guidelines on what can and cannot be asked of New Members. Even in my years as an active member (ie undergrad) a couple of decades ago, we could not ask our pledges to help clean the House even when it was required of the initiated sisters.</p>
<p>My D, who is a freshman at a major state university in the southwest said that alcohol seems to be the #1 emphasis of the greeks where she attends. She had no interest in them for many reasons and this was one of the reasons.</p>
<p>I don't remember that when I was in school, but then I was never really a party type either. I am sure there were drinking parties, I just did not go. The apple doesn't fall far I suppose....</p>
<p>I don't know your age, but when I was in school, we could drink legally at 19. I've been told that that is the big difference (why the focus of the Greek houses now seems to be alcohol). When we were in school, at some time during freshman year, you could buy alcohol. Now, most aren't legal until senior year....the kids "need" the Greek houses as a way to get alcohol. (NOTE: I profess no first hand knowledge of his-I've just talked to other parents of kids in college.)</p>
<p>At my daughter's sorority it is an infraction for an underage member to drink alchohol at any sorority event. So not only is it not pushed on her - it is actually punishable.
I do think that many people have misperceptions of sororities. At least based on my own daughter's current day experience. Also, she experienced absolutely no hazing. The sorority members actually go out of their way to be nice and make the girls feel wanted - not abused in any way. Maybe hazing and underage drinking happens at some schools, but I can say it is not the case for all.</p>
<p>Alchohol seems to be a huge factor on most campuses. Greeks do not have a corner on that for sure!</p>
<p>My friend's daughter at Mizzou was immediately taught the "important" things like not to be photographed with a drink in your hand, not to drink with your sorority Tshirt on, etc.</p>
<p>I think the difference in these two sororities-one that forbids underaged grils from drinking and the other that tells them how not to get caught-demonstrates why it might not be a good idea to rush Freshman year. How is a young woman to figure out the difference between these two sororities so quickly?</p>
<p>Really, do you think that the only place where drinking goes on is in sororities and fraternities? I've got some swamp land to sell you in Florida if you do. These kids aren't completely clueless- it's pretty obvious what the drinking culture is in a social group (at least it is in a fraternity). It's not like the guys are hiding their interest in partying, LOL. </p>
<p>I'm sort of skeptical when I hear kids say, "oh I stay away from greeks because that's where all the drinking goes on." Hmmm. What are they doing on the weekend? Do they go to the clubs uptown? Do they go to apartment/house parties? Because if they do either, they're coming across drinking, probably lots of drinking.</p>
<p>My mom heavily pushed for me to join a sorority when I was in college, and I didn't want to at all! She got all her friends to write letters on my behalf, I was a legacy, she made me attend the panhellenic pre-freshman meetings in our hometown, the whole ball of wax. I just didn't identify with the sorority types. She was extremely disappointed in me. I told her that I didn't want to get involved in greek life because of the excessive partying. Meanwhile, I had a membership to every private club in town, and was up on Franklin Street every weekend having a good old time. :) It was a convenient way to shut her up. Yes, I was sort of manipulative.</p>