<p>Since I already dropped off my son at college I thought I would be off this discussion group but I guess I have developed an addition to it. (plus I have two more for college in the next few years).
I thought you may want to share this thread with your freshman who just started college this month. It is from the USC site where a freshman is asking where he should rush.</p>
<p>I have urged my son not to rush as a freshman first semester. When I was in college, many of the frats where I went for invited dinners and parties were the ones I would have rushed freshman year. When I finally rushed and joined a frat sophomore year, I rushed a frat I had never been to as a fereshman and found out it was the best fit for me. I think it is better to make friends all over campus the first year and join all kinds of groups before you rush. Once you are in a frat, that basically defines your social life since many require you to be present for certain meals, parties, and meetings. I have also known people who rushed and then after joining decided to opt out after a year or two. Many frats have a type of contract where you have to continue to pay dues even though you are not participating.<br>
Many colleges do not let freshman rush specifically so you don't get yourself into a social rut before you have time to relly experience what a college has to offer. I think this is even important for specialty frats/sororities.and legacies.</p>
<p>As a Greek Alum, I actually have to disagree - at least to a certain extent.</p>
<p>I think everyone agrees that the biggest hurdle a freshman has when going to college is adjusting to the environment. The good fraternities (emphasis on good) will set up a pledge education program designed to aid the new member in this adjustment process. They can/do provide more guidance and structure, easing the difficulty of making that switch. For example everyone always talks about how in college no one will be there to make you study...except for those fraternities that have required study hours for their new members/pledges/associates. There are other examples as well in terms of community service and campus involvement but I won't get into those now.</p>
<p>From the viewpoint of the chapters, they should fight against deferred recruitment policies as well. I know of plenty of anecdotal evidence where rush numbers go down because students feel they are extremely busy as first semester freshmen (since this may be the first time in their lives where they have struggled academically), and thus don't have time for a fraternity or sorority, when had they joined earlier, Greek Life would have been a standard part of their time commitments, something they've always known and had to do. Spring/sophomore recruitment likely deprives students of great experiences and helpful relationships while the Greek community suffers from the loss of potentially great members. I don't believe I've seen any studies that demonstrated increased retention of members with deferred rush, though it's possible this is one outcome.</p>
<p>All this said, I do realize that their are plenty of Greek communities where the tradition for many years has been spring or sophomore recruitment periods. Further I know for a fact that at some schools, being a frosh and joining a house can be detrimental (there are some places I would never advise anyone with an ounce of ambition to join a Greek organization). </p>
<p>I guess what I'm trying to emphasize most is that there are downfalls to putting off joining a chapter. It's probably not wise to make blanket statements that every kid at every school should join at a certain time. Some kids should wait, and some shouldn't, and there are some schools where waiting would be a great idea and others where you should join as soon as possible (like if joining as a sophomore would put you at a disadvantage in the process).</p>
<p>I have to agree with Futureholds....my son is a sophmore this year and was going to rush one frat last year as a freshman and is now rushing a totally different frat now as a sophmore. Having the time on campus to become familiar with the different frats and what they are about, getting to know various members, etc. are important parts of knowing what frat you want to rush. I don't think he was really ready to make this decision as a freshman.</p>
<p>I see the point of waiting, I also see the point of rushing/joining as a frosh. My son joined as a frosh, and it was a great experience, a wonderful way to immediately meet a whole bunch of people and become part of a great big social network. Also, his classes that first semester were the "easiest" they were going to get, so the hit that rushing/pledging took was minimal on grades and time. And no, they didn't make him drink gallons of alcohol or do other physically harmful things to him. But it was time consuming. He had to attend a bunch of meetings, learn a bunch of rules/history/procedure/"secrets", do a lot of community service (as they all do) and do scut work (help clean the house/paint/yardwork...).</p>
<p>On the other hand, the benefits were that he matured a lot, did leadership seminars, and developed a tight knit community of friends that he can be proud of.</p>
<p>There may be a different thought process involved about joining a fraternity, but I can tell you that a girl who rushes her sophomore year is at a huge disadvantage in the recruitment process. Most sororities are reluctant to use their limited quota spots on a student who will be a member for only three years instead of four. USC rush is over now anyway, but I would not advise a female student to delay rush unless they know they are risking joining a sorority at all, much less the house of their choice. Greekchat.com is a great forum for very detailed, school-specific advice about fraternities and sororities and is worth reading well in advance of the freshman year.</p>
<p>My daughter just finished rush as a sophomore. She is very happy to be in a nice sorority now but we had many, many tears over the other sororities that she wanted that didn't want her. Too much drama!</p>
<p>I'm relieved to hear that her story has a happy ending...there are too many sophomores who find themselves shut out just because of their class standing.</p>
<p>Sorority rush is brutal, mean, petty, and superficial.</p>
<p>The guys have it right. It's easy to rush, hard to become a member. You get a bid, everyone is nice, they're doing their best to recruit you. You accept the bid, and suddenly for 6 weeks you are going to training, education, indoctrination, mandatory meetings, weekend pledge retreats, leadership seminars, community service, house cleaning....</p>
<p>Although I have to say that's a lot nicer than the "running of the bulls" kind of stuff that sororities do.</p>
<p>I think fall recruitment is a lot easier on both the PNMs and the GLO members. When recruitment is held in the fall, the PNMs are less likely to know and feed into the stereotype that XYZ is the best group and only the misfits pledge ABC. At some schools, both the PNMs and the actives feel as if they are on display at all times, always trying to make a good impression.</p>
<p>My daughter felt overwhelmed with academics as a freshman in the fall at UCLA. Waited til spring rush and then into a sorority. She did not feel it was brutal or mean or petty. Other daughter transferred to UCLA as a junior, went into a sorority and loved it.</p>
<p>I'm thinking brutal- the whole idea that a young woman who is new to a campus has to attend a round of "parties" only to be "cut" and never invited back to some/all of them. Why not just open all the houses, let whoever wants to come show up, and if the girls get along, offer the recruit a bid? That's what the guys do.</p>
<p>The final round is particularly cruel...the girl recruits have to select several sororities they would like to join. This goes into the system and if those selections "match" the sororities that want her, she gets into one. The final humiliation- having to show up at a central meeting place (sports field) with spectators watching this whole thing, and receiving her bid. Some girls open up that fateful envelope and get a "sorry", and walk away in tears. Others get their first choice and go screaming across the field into the arms of their "sisters". For still others, it's a mixed blessing as they heave a sigh of relief and pretend to be ecstatic that they were accepted by their "last" choice.</p>
<p>I'm just astonished that more people don't see this as totally archaic, cruel, and superficial (after all, these girls don't even know each other- they've based their "sister" selections on literally a few minutes together).</p>
<p>I am sorry, but I have little sympathy for people who feel crushed about not getting into the "right" frat or srat. As far as I know, no one is forced to rush srats at knifepoint or anything, and it remains a personal choice. If you don't want to play the game, then don't choose to go Greek. Even at the most Greek-heavy campuses, there are still a significant number of GDIs with whom you can develop lasting, fruitful friendships.</p>
<p>Personally, I am happy to be attending a campus with no Greek system, but both of my older siblings had enriching experiences in their respective fraternity and sorority. To each their own - it is all about knowing and discovering yourself and not trying to "fit in" just b/c everyone else is doing something.</p>
<p>I don't know of any college where a girl would open an empty envelope on bid day. The standard practice is to have the recruitment counselors notify any girls in that situation well in advance.
I can tell you that I remembered my own rush experience when I was interviewing for jobs later in college and law school...it gave me confidence that I could handle anything.</p>
<p>Depending on the school and Greek system, waiting until sophomore year to rush can put the candidate at a SIGNIFICANT disadvantage. This may not not be the case at all schools but in the South where the Greek system is still very strong many sororities actually limit the number of sophomores that they offer bids to. </p>
<p>The reasons are numerous but include the fact that historically most girls aren't very active their senior year (in fact many go inactive) so the sorority only really gets two years out of the pledge which increases the turnover rate statistics that they are measured by. Then there is a financial reason, three to four years of dues are far better for the coffers than two or three....sad but true.</p>
<p>My D rushed as a freshman and got her first choice and was actively involved in rush this year. They ended up with a very successful rush getting a 75 member pledge class this year but only 7 were sophomores.</p>
<p>Overall the school had an inordinately large number of sophomores going through rush this year, who were all told that based on the system the odds were very much against them going in, nonetheless many were very disappointed last Saturday and Sunday as the final two cuts were made.</p>
<p>One more note: at her school there is no winter rush so it's fall or nothing.</p>
<p>doubleplay: "Sorority rush is brutal, mean, petty, and superficial."</p>
<p>Sometimes it can be. Usually it isn't. Having been through it, while you certainly come across some "mean girls", you also will have an opportunity to meet many wonderful, intelligent people. The rush process facilitates this. It also can be a heck of a lot of fun. The set up at my school was more rigid than frat rush, with way less partying, but it was still nice.</p>
<p>It is much harder to get in as a soph at most schools.</p>
<p>The rush week I experienced was not "brutal, mean, petty, and superficial." It was actually alot of fun. And the bid night process you described - I've never heard of it done that way. I loved my sorority experience and have been actively encouraging my Ds to pledge when they get to their respective colleges (maybe to the point that I've scared them off from it, but I hope not!)</p>
<p>Unlike fraternity rush, NPC recruitment is conducted to make all the groups as close in size as possible. The houses that are more successful at recruitment have to cut harder than the houses that are smaller. </p>
<p>If a sorority makes quota (usually the total number of PNMs after third round divided by the number of NPC sororities) during formal recruitment AND is at ceiling (the total membership cap set by the college's Panhel), the sorority cannot hold an informal recruitment in the opposite semester.</p>
<p>I don't mean to say that the girls themselves are mean, petty, etc. Just the process. </p>
<p>Really... I know it's "tradition"; I know it's been done like this for a hundred years. But if someone were coming up with a plan for how to do this today, in this day and age, they would never come up with the process as it stands today. It's insensitive and antiquated. Showing up to "parties" which are little more than cattle calls, two days into your first week of college when you are barely over your jitters and insecurities in the first place. Having a bunch of people treat you kindly- all smiles and gushing friendliness- and then find out the next day they don't want to see you again. No thanks.</p>
<p>I'm not anti-Greek. My son is in a frat. I just like the way frats do it better. They open their house to everyone. If you don't feel comfortable going to a certain house, you aren't forced into going. If you don't feel comfortable with the guys after meeting them, you aren't forced into going back. If they like you they'll eventually pull you off to the side and offer you membership. If they don't, well at least you don't have the public humiliation of getting a blank envelope when all your friends are whooping and crying with joy. Whether or not a girl receives that envelope during or before the "running of the bulls"- it's still a very public heartbreak (you don't think she's going through rush entirely solo do you?). And notification "well in advance"?...what, like 12 hours? </p>
<p>Again, I contend that if someone were inventing a system from scratch right now, they would never do it the way they've been for all these years. It's just one of those processes that have been grandfathered in and no one wants to change it.</p>
<p>As a mom, whose D is joining a sorority and just finished recruitment last Monday, I agree that the entire process is brutal. Yes, she is now in a sorority but she had to endure a week of petty, superficial popularity contests. She is happy to be in a sorority but the devastation that she endured when her top three choices in round 4 of the recruitment cut her, was pure hell for all of us. Picture this, you spend hours doing your hair and makeup and putting on your prettiest party dress, go to pick up your preferencial sheet (which parties you are to attend that night) and NONE of your choices are on the list. In other words, although you wanted to join them...they didn't want you! Life lessons...I know. Learning how to deal with rejection. But devastating to the core nonetheless.</p>