<p>Hi GFG,
You asked how my D got down to the list of where to make official visits. We did the same thing you are: visited lots of schools on our own dime, unofficially. By mid-summer before senior year, she knew which three to go back to in the fall. So much came down to how she felt on campus: how other kids seemed, the location-rural versus urban, the reputation of the school in terms of academics and quality of undergraduate teaching. Once she arrived at three schools that were academic/“feel”/and location fits, she made her visits. </p>
<p>The officials were a whole different level of evaluation because she spent so much time with current athletes, other recruits, and coaches. She also went to classes, and hung out with non-athletes as well as future teammates on the weekend. </p>
<p>When she came home from her ultimate 1st choice school, she simply had no doubt. I still required her to go on the third trip, but she came home more convinced than ever about the 1st choice. She could only fit in three trips because of how far away we are from the schools, and because the trips needed to be taken in September and October, during her sport’s season.</p>
<p>A couple of things:
The athletic fit piece for her was more about the style of the coaches than the competitiveness of the team. Her goal was to contribute right away, and work with a coach and teammates who are congenial and “fun”. Winning a championship was not her primary objective, although now that she’s on the team, she definitely wants them to improve their performance.
Funny how that shifted. But she did NOT choose the “best” team in the league to try for, because she knew she wouldn’t get to participate as much, and she also had some hesitations about coaching style fit for her. PM/email me for specifics on this topic, if you like.</p>
<p>The geographic location thing for us was not an issue. All the schools she was considering were far from us. Oh well. I had to let go of seeing her compete, and embrace long flights for visits. This was the right decision for this particular kid. How has your daughter done on away camps, etc? If she’s showing you that she does fine on her own, she’s sending a big message about how she’ll handle a distant college. </p>
<p>Also, if you are moving away from where she is going to high school, this is going to be a big deal. She may not want to come to your home for every holiday, and may figure out ways to visit her old high school friends sometimes. If she ends up going to college fairly close to your present home, this actually may work out well for her. (Not you so much :()) Others may have been through this and could shed light.</p>
<p>You still have lots of time, GFG. Listen closely to your daughter. Once I let go of my agenda, I was able to hear her and eliminate some choices that I liked but she didn’t.</p>